I have 3 children. Can't call them kids anymore , ages 20 , 23 @ 25. We were a mid class family. Owned our home. Newer cars. Seemed normal. One day at work , I have an accident, My back is broken. Now I don't know if anyone has ever been through workmans comp. It is a vary big life changing experiance. That being another story. I have always been in my kids lives, maybe to much as a freind than parent. My oldest is a special needs student. A.D.H.D. being his diognos. I had meetings with the school anytime there was a problem. He had a plan made for him to help "him" get through his days. The school fought me every step! Long story short, they made it impossible to make it.That was the begining of his spiral down hill. I saw the trust of other people or moreso autherity was a problem now. I like I felt any parent would do is talk and try to reason with him. The law started to be envolved, as he had time on his hands. Jobs were hard to keep, as his A.D.H.D. got in the way .Distracted vary easy.Now the drugs started. Not pot. I mean pain meds.(probally mine to beggin with.)Then heroin,crack. I watched my oldest dieing! One jail sentence(6months) we thought might teach him a lesson. I always tried to tell my kids how hard people work for their money.Stealing from people is WRONG!!! He stayed clean for a time.Some one at his work offered him a oxycontin. He took it.This was 1 year ago. Today (9-30-08) is sentencing on his latest string of thefts. One envolved a gun! His plea bergain is for 10-14 yrs.! We live in vt. he will be sent to kentuky to do his time. I'm the 1st to say he got what he had coming. Maybe it should be more time. Atleast I know he won't hurt others or overdose himself. I don't know what to feel. I have not talked to him since he went to jail. I don't know what to say to him.I went the day of his 1st court day. I told him across the court room that I loved him. I do love him. But, I have NO trust in anything he does now. He would steal from anyone, anytime anywhere. No remorse, to your face he'll cry that he is so sorry. As soon as you leave his space, he'de take your last penny. He talks to my middle child. And has said he has been taking pills when he can get them. My mother was sending him money. I've told her my findings, and she has stopped. He is a con. He can talk you out or into anything. He is not the only child like this. His hole large group of freinds are alot like this. I have seen many die. His best freind was killed for $150! Please google (Damien Lamb/Branden LeBonte) you will see what a mess our youth are in. My middle child (girl) started out almost same way. No stealing though.Her addictoin was VARY bad. I'm not goona go on ,this is to long. She is clean now (4yrs.) I am vary proud of her. But sad thing to be proud of. My youngest son hates drugs! I have no fear of him useing. And to top things off my exwife, and mother of youngest 2 kids died of an overdose2 1/2 yrs. ago. This is only a small versoin of my story. I really felt for yrs. that we were a normal family , and maybe we are?
We have no childrin, so it is hard to relate. I can't even imagine the pain. I can tell you that my wife has four haft siblings. Not a good one in the lot. They came from what seem to me to be a good family. Somethings are just beyond our control. Ether we let go and move on, or let it eat us alive. That is are only chose. Please, be happy.
I can't say I can relate but I can say I feel some of the pain as my nephews are on that road. I do not believe addicts can be helped unless they have hit their bottom. Some people hit it soon and some never do as you are probably aware of by now. I agree that you must go on with your life and help those you are able to help. Give him the love a father gives. Please stay safe clayton
Thank you. Alot of times I have to write things out so I can see it in writing . It looks like someone elses problem. One day at a time, again ,Thanks
