My mother was labeled with "treatment-resistant" schizophrenia as her last diagnosis. She passed away two years ago, and had been diagnosed as bipolar as well. It was explained to me that it got to a point where she had to make a decision about whether or not she was going to try.. and, they explained that she decided not to try anymore. She was violent and so heavily medicated, it made me wonder whether or not she was even capable of making that kind of decision. She spent her last 10 years in a nursing home, doped up so bad that she could barely care for herself. Anyone know of similar stories?
Schizophrenia has no cure. Even the treatments are pretty hit and miss. Lots of missing pieces in this puzzle. If your mom was in a rage all the time, sedating her was probably the most humane thing they could do for her. I wouldn't dwell on this. You do need to be aware that you may have the same thing your mom had. At least a 50-50 chance if it wasn't injury caused. At least your mom was in a nursing home. The prison system has become a dumping ground for the mentally ill and the jails are now full of schizophrenics. We're such a great country. x
I guess I should have explained that I understand that many mental disorders have no cure, but that there are different levels... right? There are people with various mental illnesses that are living next door, taking their meds and living independently. My mother lived in her own world and was so far gone, nothing they tried made a difference at all... I think they just gave up on her and stuck her in a nursing home medicated so she couldn't hurt herself or anyone else. Her brother has been in and out of jail and institutions more times than I can count; he is paranoid and violent. It just makes me wonder why they haven't locked him away as well. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and ADD, it appears that it may have missed me, thank God. But, I am scared and wonder if things I think, do or say are normal just about every day. okokok, there is no such thing as "normal", but I'm sure you can understand.
If your mom was labeled treatment resistant there was nothing they could do, because she as an adult gets to make that desicion. I have an uncle with schizophrenia, who is also treatment resistant. They just load him up on Seroquel so he stays semi-mellow. Be really careful not to abuse drugs. Late-onset schizophrenia happens usually in your forties, so like me, you're not out of the woods yet.
She could have been conserved if someone went to court for it. The person that conserved her would be her legal guardian, making all of the decisions. Othe rthan that, there's nothing legally mental health providers can do to help if someone is treatment resistant. I mean even though your mother was mentally ill she still had the right to choose for herself. Maybe she chose what she wanted.
This is one of the most difficult things to deal with when it comes to people with mental illness. No matter how good the treatment, if the person does not want treatment, there is not much one can do to make them get better. On one hand though, trying different treatments can inspire someone to try again and get their hope flowing once more, but again, if the person is not participating actively in recovery, there is really no use in trying to treat them. I'm sorry to hear that about your mom, how are you doing coping with it all?
It gets so confusing for me. As a child, I was told by therapists that it wasn't her fault, but my father always said that she could get better if she wanted to. I tend to be emotionally immature; with deep issues, I tend to departmentalize things and speak of horrific situations as if they happened to someone else. On the other hand, with surface issues, I wear my heart on my sleeve and don't let things roll of my back very easily. When I was about 16, her main psychiatrist called me in for a meeting and I went alone because my father had no desire to attend (he divorced her when I was 10). She suggested a new treatment plan and asked if I would be willing to attend some group family sessions. I told her that I was very sorry, but I didn't feel capable... when I saw my mother, it was hard to see past all of the pain she caused early in my childhood. The psychiatrist suggested my presence may give my mother a desire or will to work harder and get better, but I was not willing to risk my emotional well being for hers. What a difficult decision to make at 16! I did see her on and off and was an emotional wreck every time. Now, I wonder if I could have helped and it gets so hard not to blame myself. I sincerely appreciate all of your comments, concerns and suggestions. I will be starting with a new therapist soon and will certainly bring up adult-onset schizophrenia!
In the UK someone with a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, can be given medication against their will. If thats the case where you are, maybe she was given treatment for the illness but it wasnt having much effect. I can't understand how they can say your mother 'decided not to try anymore' when a huge part of the illness itself often involves the sufferer not even realising they are ill and therefore refuse medication. To say she 'gave up' is rubbish, she was very ill and not in a position to give up. I can empathise with some of the feelings you've bin through as my brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, i guess it must be harder to cope with with it being your mum . Just these past couple months he's been alot better, he's back in his own home instead of hospital and is more like he was before he became ill. I've worried too about my chances of developing the illness, i share alot of his genes and have shared environmental experiences growing up (some not good). Like Bella Désordre has said be very careful with psychoactive drugs, try not to worry too much. Try to keep insight on your thoughts; that is, if you feel you're starting to think irrationally, question it, use common sense. I get feelings that are irrational but i think as long as i have the ability to analyse what i think, i can overcome it. Of course i seen for myself in my brother that he lost the ability to reason, i think being able to reason is what keeps me sane (if i am sane lol)!
No. You were a child. There is nothing you could have done. I am sorry about your mom. Please understand there is nothing you did to perpetuate her condition. I have a client right now who has a dad with schizophrenia. He is really bad. The person I have seen worse than my uncle. He was there once for a family session (I do in home counseling in rural areas and the dad lived out of the home) and I can't imagine what she is feeling wiht that. Do you know anything I can say to her to make her feel better? I want to set the stepping stones so she doesn't feel guilty when she gets older. But, she also resents her dad to an unhealthy degree and I am afraid that will cause guilt when she gets older. How do i help her to find a good balance?
You have no idea how much I appreciate your response and question. I have often wondered if I should go into counseling or social work to A)Help me get over my issues and B)Help others get through the same. I run into people in the waiting room and sometimes one of us will strike up a conversation. This is fairly rare, but it happens. I tend to be very sympathetic with people outside of my family that are bipolar or schizophrenic. I'm sure you have heard this and even said it yourself... but, I tell them a brief story about my mother and then tell them that their children, spouse and other family members WILL feel anger, fear, resentment, etc and it is perfectly natural. It doesn't seem fair to those that are sick, but it is the way we are programmed to work when we feel something or someone has let us down or we have been abused. I tell them that their loved ones need to be taught to direct that negative energy toward the ILLNESS, not the PERSON. This is very difficult, obviously; I have had years of counseling and practice and still struggle constantly. I know that my mother loved me very much... too much probably. One of my counselors told me that the way children respond to this type of illness is similar to that of children of alcoholics... we think, "If she loved me enough, she would fight harder. If she wanted to be with me, she would stop acting this way." It simply isn't the case. The truth is, I may never know whether or not she came to a point where she had to or was capable of making a decision about giving up or trying harder. But, I do know that it had nothing to do with me. And, it isn't fair! Just by being born, we DESERVED to be loved unconditionally in a healthy family that can care for our basic needs. This turned out to be a lot longer than I had anticipated, but I wanted to offer something. I don't know your or her faith, but I am a Christian (with flaws ) and believe that we don't see the whole picture... and that everything happens for the greater good. God doesn't let you get through things like this without going on to help others in some way. I am a mother with generations of mental illness behind me. I try to remember to say to myself daily, "I am good enough. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to be loved." I'll keep saying it until I believe it with my whole heart. And, until I am incapable, I will teach my son the same. I hope I said something helpful. Please send me a PM if you want to talk more... I think we could help each other, if you are interested.
I think you should def go into counseling. I mean you've been through so much with this. It's an awful situation, but it's one that can give you the potential to relate to people of all walks of life. I had some shitty stuff happen with me and now seeing that it makes me better at my job and empathize with others makes me feel a little bit better. How old is your son? HUGS
If you don't mind me asking, what is your profession? Are you an LISW, psychologist...? I have held careers in HR and IT and while good at my jobs, I never enjoyed either. Friends and family have always told me that I have gone through so much (with and other than my mother) for a reason. I have difficult times, sure, but overall, I turned out very well considering. I see the world a bit differently than others and respond to it differently... and have been told that I am very unique. They tell me that I should be a counselor or teacher... but, that little, insecure piece of me tells me that I may not succeed and I'm scared. Also, I've heard it is very difficult to get into school for LISW. I guess I'll never know until I try! I have thought about writing a book about survival; specifically for kids and teens of the mentally ill. I think being a counselor might help people take it more seriously.
In Nevada where you don't need a liscense to practice, which is a shame because at times I feel completley underqualified and untrained for what I do. I think right now I am the only consultant with my comapny that just has a BA. Most are Phd canidates working on their internship hours. I feel horribley undereducated at work. When we move back to CA this summer I am going to graduate school so I can practice over there and get liscensed. I really want to be a liscensed Psychologist with PsyD. I went to a state school for my undergrad, but my GPA is not high enough to go for graduate level at state, so I have to pay for a private university for graduate school. A lot of people get around the tough admission processes at state by taking out loans and going to a private school where you don't need GRE scores. I went to school for teaching and did my internship and HATED it. I am a really quiet person though and have a hard time being in super stimulating enviorments. I have a firend who is a teacher and she loves it. I then got into non-profit management and disliked the pressure and hated supervising people. I am really luck to have found the job I am at now. I am a consultant , so I get to do all my perpwork from home and only have to go into the office for clinical supervision once a week. It's a sweet deal. You said you are unique and I think that would make you awesome at this. Patients often times can't relate to people who fit into the cookie cutter mold of what society expects. There are so many people out there that feel like crap about themselves because they are different. I had this one parent who kept telling me how 'lucky I was that I was smart and went to college'. I informed her I have dyslexia andit was hard work and worked full-time mostly through school. She enrolled in community college this fall. I mean if I fit in a box of what society wants me to be I don't think I could have encouraged her like I did because I wouldn't have been able to identify with her. My husband always comments that it's the most fucked up people who get into psychology, but I think that's a good thing. I went to one therapist that went tp Harvard and I couldn't relate to him. I preferred my ex coke addict therpaist who had a hard time getting through school and came from a crazy family like mine. Are you in a position now where you can go back to school? Sorry, this post was way longer than I thought it would be!
