THE NERD RAP BATTLE: MC Dangermoose vs. Tha P. Floyd

MC Dangermoose:

damn you!
i'm a nerdy M-C
i got more rhymes
than a mutha fuckin nursery.

rolling up a blunt
taking huge ass fuckin hits
you know that game zelda?
ya i beat that shit.

you think you could do better?
mo-fo, bring it on!
i'll kick your ass lil earthling
im a fucking klingon

delta quadrant represent
east side, west side
alpha quadrant represent
east side, west side

yooooo'
double time now'

i may be a nerrrd
but im smarter than the population
i may not get any girls
but at least i'll have a good occupation

yo' you be down with a wookie?
i be down with darth vader
we kick some fucking ass
like Jolie in tomb raider.

got an iq of one fifty
i can feel all you brothers that are with me

say quaaantum!



QUAAANTUM!



say theory!



Theory!!!



nerd force represent!
east side west side
it dont matter to us
we be on the best side.
the rest die
WORD

 

tha P. Floyd:



holla at the geek with the tortoise shell glasses
i'm spastic - fantasic
and i'll rock all yo asses

a nintendo chick
always down to kick it with a dope cat
but i always gotta laugh
when they try to bust a rap
as phat as my chat

im a dreadlocked warrior
spittin words like a tape recorder
in a chemical euphoria
splittin ions in the core of ya

while they all stare in wonder
i rule the playground slide
comin at you like thunder
you better run and hide
cause i'm blowin you away like a hurricane
1-uppin' you like a mario game

im sportin the converse
leavin marks on the pavement
as my rhymes annihilate
comin up from moms basement

cause im the dreadlocked warrior
WARRIOR
in a chemical euphoria
EUPHORIA

 

MC Dangermoose:

yo bitch
is that all you got?
pulling out your rap rhymes
and watching as you flop

you be calling it on
with a rap mix masta
better back down now
before i hafta blast ya

i be chillin in the basement
playing my nintendo
you aint ever seen a console
so don't even pretend yo'

im player number one
your player number two
i be the player in red
you be the player in blue

i go first
you take your turn last
you still be waiting to fight
while i kick some big boss ass

so you think our a geek
i think you're a pretender
i see those pants
you lacking the suspenders

word

 

MC Dangermoose:



hell yea another rhyme for good measure
you feeling the heat, as im building up the pressure?

i can rap all time
busting out the rhymes
doing my time
for my cliched crimes

is that ink on your shirt?
man it aint so hard
to keep your shirt clean
when you got a pocket gaurd.

geek force represent
we be tearing up the streets
geek force represent
having our magic card meets

im a geek im a freak im a mutha fucking loner
any time i see a girl it gives me a 3 inch boner

breathing heavy out my nose
slobber on my clothes
gunk betwen my toes
i seen all the star trek shows

what!
geek force represent.
mutha fucka!!!
word

 

tha P. Floyd:

you better check yo blank head
cause your shit be stankin
worse than ectoplasmic plankton

yer beat is dead like a frog in formaldehyde
suspended vocal genocide
my rhymes are bona fide
i can program mine

but you cant crack the code
your shit is way too slow
plowin' on you like a power pad
go download porn since you cant afford a mag

my IQ reigns supreme
sharper than any beam
im the light saber queen

now get on your knees and beg
so i dont karate-chop your head
cells spillin out until the dragon sees red

im a l337 commander
a captain deathstar lander
im the game genie
throwin barrels at you like donkey
cmon honkey you think you can rock me?

check it.

 

MC Dangermoose:



better check my blank head?
watch your back
you'll end up dead

things are looking a lil fuzzy
like a half silvered mirror
check this shit out
and the picture may come in clearer

quantum theory states
from point b to point a
the light didnt choose one path
it actually went both ways

sorta like you...
are you 'special' or 'retarded'?
both i assume
but lets go back to where it started

in kindergarden you had friends
in grade 1 you got a C
i don't know about you
but that doesn't sound geeky to me

in grade 3 you were cool
by grade 5 you kised a boy
while i was sitting in a corner
playing with my ninja turtle toys

you aint fooling me
you aint no geek
i arm wrestled you earlier
shit you aint even weak.

so you sharper than a beam?
that remains to be seen
there aint no skill with a light saber
when your fighting a likely PROM QUEEN

 

tha P. Floyd:

HOLD UP
i aint no prom queen
im a motherfuckin dope fiend

i got my diploma back in may
while you screwed the dean
to get a better grade

well fuck i earned my way
all work and no play

now where you been?
this aint a dice game foo
theres no chance youre gonna win

im ripping through you like the Shredder
need a band-aid to make it better?
go cry to your mommy
cause your worthless rhymes are bombing

you're no nerd
keep on wishin to be heard
youre just a sad little wimp
with the brainpower of a chimp

ive got your king in check
so get off your high horse
youre just a worthless pawn
who cant reckon with the force

stop worshipping the evil MTV
while i am chillin out
watchin the channel of discovery
and expanding my mind larger than the galaxy
im watchin mork and mindy religiously

so dont even front like youre a super dork
i hike my pants so god damn high
it makes your whole crotch hurt

i may never get a date
but im sayin im the best
now give in to your fate
cause you failed this IQ test.

CHECKMATE.

 

Yo ho
I whip out some dough
I hadn't got laid since nineteen sixty fo'

I pimp out my navigator
I picked her up and laid her
and I can't even get laid
I just got paid

Yo biatch
I'm a pimp
so lets get down on the flo'
bitch, leave that wimp

oh yeah... suck yo' mama
I hadn't gotten laid since I ****ed that llama
I gots some rubbers and my homeboys do too
so why don't we get on the flo', get drunk, and screw

wtf?

 

MC SISSYNEcK SEZ:

What the fuck kids?
Ya act like ya know the shiz!
Really tho ya blow the flow
Drop ya pants let's start the show!

Fightin' like some silly bitch
Shit, all I wanna do is scratchy my itch
Shit, I lieft my bonnarroo cap in that ditch
Let's take a chance and make the mothafuckin' switch

Moose & Floyd, all ya'll's gone void
Cuz you're spittin' is real devoid
Of anything grand or planned
Sinkin' faster than in da' quicksand.

Fuck it, let's split
leave the tap sayin "drip drip drip"
Left a note and a spliff
caught ya momma sayin' "shit shit shit"

Not unlike buddha I stay true to da sound
When I'm on AIM I look for sound is around
Don't look now but I'm comin' to town
To take a paddle to ya mothafuckin' clowns.

Beat Break!
Bom sha ba ba da wada wada
bom sha ba ba da wada wada
bom sha da pa da wada wada
bom sha da pa da wada wada

Now back to the question at hand
why can't moose pull up his pants and act a man?
Prolly somethin' to do with his momma or the sand
either way his rhymes are fuckin' bland.

And Sarah, Hah!
She may got pretty eyes
but her rhymes personify all I despise
in HS ya may have made all those boys cry
But here on my turf I be the one to Testify!

Testify up to the sky,
where I'm sendin' ya bitches once ya die
Like in a lil' while cuz I'm hearin' ya fry
Look left, look right, now into my eye!

I'm white, no denyin' that
Chill layed back like buddha sat
my flow's out the window
but I still rhyme betta than you and yo cat!


bitches...don't stop or go
I got's me a lot more flow to flow
Bringin' you down like at a rodeo
Take ya te the back room and sho' ya some mo'!

 

Pink Floyd Rocks Tha House!!!!!!

 

Oh Nerd Rap?!
What the crap is that?
I'll leave ya sucka's blind in a pile of ya own crap
Make ya cryin' baby say SNAP, son!

Like ah hot dog in a bun, a weenie
Don't want to sound like a fuckin' meenie
but that's what ya is for zhiz,
Now watch the mothafuckin' screeny

Here come's the show, I hear it's obscene!
Like that time in G-to-tha-T-to-tha-A VC
When Mercede's sucked off Tommy V
On that mean green trampoline

Alright, so that didn't happen.
Don't mean it can't
Don't mean it shan't
who agree's with me?
Rob Van Zandt!

I think he played Zelda
Or maybe it was Belda
On Saved by the bell, in his snail shell.
I broke off a piece, now I'm sendin' ya ta hell!

I wear thick glasses and the jocks gimmie hassles
Kick my 3 asses and throw me off of castles
Gimmie glassfuls of blind white wrath
Kickin' me harder than a kick from McGrath

Not Really, I fucked those bitches up
Then we went hiking and I picked them some buttercups
We sat around the lake and baked ourselves up
then poured us a 40 into a diamond cup

Ya see kid's this is how Sissyneck flows
If ya don't like it, blow it out ya nose
I'll be playin' GTA, blastin' peds and pickin' up Ho's
If ya need me, reach me, but now ya gots ta blows!

 

heheeee that was the third smile I have cracked today...thanks

 

yo she got sweet ass rhymes. and she be kickin dat shit.

 

ooooo i didnt know we got a new thread for this... i'll have to repost my latest rap..and sissy...you be calling on the dark force...

 

yo' i'm like captain picard,
powering up my phasers
your lazers
i'll wager
are set to stun mutha fucka
because your rhymes are plagered

yea i wrote that shit
back in 1986
so you copy and paste
for a quick rap fix

yo but that be fine with me
soon you will see
i got better over time
writting better lines
polishing my words
going past warp nine
making this shit shine.

oooooo

oh now who be the cowering?
hiding behind doritos
we'll see how you fair
against my photon torpedos!

my hit points are 102
twice the size of your iq

your hit points be only 36
THREE LIL PIGGIES
you build a house of sticks
i built my house outta bricks!

if this was magic cards
the pile that you'd be in
would be the discard

so you wanna join the chess club?
you already part of the breast club
the best club
keeping the guys drooling
asking if they can give a rub...

well hot damn
seems pretty COOL to me
you can't FOOL me
i've seen you at a PARTY

now woman,
go fetch me a drink!
and turn your music off
you know that i hate N'Sync

 

applause for all...i got a nice chuckle.

 

Why don't ya sit on the couch, watch some 3's company
My friends won't vouch as I climb this here tree
Break out my scoped sniper rifle
Blast ya neck as ya ride ya sista's Bi-cycle

Like I blasted that nazi posse way back in Dubya 2
Nah I wasn't there, just got an advance copy of BloddRayne 2
I'll call you a sheep cuz ya gonna call me cheap
For rhymin' two with two and refusin' to meep.

I'm the anti-meeper and the opitomy of Bunsun
I rock the catskillz like I was Herman fuckin' Munster
I ain't frontin', but ya wanna know somethin?
I'm on to ya boy, I know ya ain't crunkin'

They call ya moose, well get on that caboose and preach the truth
Mix the last of the vermouth, with the rest of the wine
Ya ain't got the mind design or time to rhyme
Spend all your days swimming in fish brine
Like those sea monkeys decked out in Calvin Klein.

I'll break ya face like a failed console mod
Won't leave a trace when the cops check ya bod
Bout time someone checked ya out,
Cuz you're like a teapot;
Short and stout!

try and blast me with that photon blaster,
Shit son, I'm a simpson's triv master!
Been that way since dikkity two
With an onion tied to my belt and 3 pointy hairs foo!

Breakin' hearts like Bart's neighbor
I'll take a bite out ya photon lazer
Set it to any setting ya wish
I'll still cold-cock ya with it bish

Indian's sayin' "Thank You, come again!"
Like the Northern lights in Skinner's kitchen
"It's just a little airborn, it's still good"
spittin' quotes like ya know I should
Grandpa decked out in his zoot suit
With his boy sayin' "Purple's a fruit"
Maggie's firing shots
spelling error bots and dogs who love socks
Question me and I'll knock ya block!

Like I uppercut your shit into the pit
In MK2 I'll play as that blue bub named sub
as in zero, my hero, believe it, percieve it
Playin MK3 as cyrax, burning fat sacks we call dub's

Left Left Punch, Right Right Kick
Throwin' you round like a half a brick
Kick Down Up, or Up Kick Down
Whateva combo, ya still a clown

 

lol you guys are so wierd..I thoroughly enjoyed that ...you guys should join forces! GEEKY POWERS ACTIVATE!!!

 

Do I hear a compilation CD coming out???

 

www.mcchris.com

He takes you wanna-be nerd rappers out back, and shoves rakes down your throats.