help

You're first language isn't english. So, where are you from?

 

i aint telling u say i am gay, i am asking ur advice on what i am going through, and u insisted i was gay, so for you to say i basically asking u to say i am gay is totally wrong, i mean i dont find sex with women repulsive i have enjoyed many encounters with women, but i just cannot stop thinking about gay sex, and especially this guy i saw earlier on in the week, he was so hot, but for me to find a guy hot there is some sort ov attractivness there then

 

Then it's obvious you're bisexual.

 

then its obvious i am bisexual, i aint getting at ur mate, but u were adamnat i was gay a couple ov posts ago, for some reason i juts get the feeling sometimes that gays just say people are gay for there sake

 

You're being awefully hard to work with. We try to give you advice, you keep asking, so we say you're gay, then you say you like women, so we say you're bisexual. Our responses can only be correct if you give all the information in the first post.

 

hang on a minute i said to u i had slept with women , but u still said i was gay, yes i am having sexual thoughts towards men, am i enjoying them i dont know that is my question i am that fcuked up in my head at the moment, 24/7 all i cn think about is men, what is it for you that does it abnout men, is there cock ass, perosnality what, now i am asking ur advice now on what make u know u are attracted to men

 

I am attracted to personality, looks help but I'm not in it for sex but for romance.

 

but i feel like i can like a mans persoanlity and his looks, and i bet so could any man, i bet any man can like anothers man persoanlity

 

Okay I'll try to clear this up.
What the forum members are trying to say is simply:

-in the early stages of your life you didn't know you had an attraction to a member of the same sex because in most predominantly straight communities it is taken for granted that everyone is straight, so for the few people who are gay/bisexual, the possibility of being gay/bisexual is never discussed within that community so these people never get to even consider exploring that aspect of themselves. With this predetermined expectation firmly ingrained in their minds the gay/bisexual people normally date and have sexual experiences with women not necessarily because they like it, but because it is considered the standard thing to do in their community, in a sense they are 'ignorant of their sexuality'.

-when this thread first started you only stated that you had developed feelings for men as well as stating that you had past sexual experiences with women, but at first you didn't say that you did like like women anyway despite your feelings towards men, so the forums members assumed that you were probably gay despite your past sexual encounters for reasons I stated above. But when you did then say you enjoyed your sexual activities with women, the forum members then suggested you were bisexual based on the new evidence.

-in some cases people can discover that they're gay/bisexual at almost any age without having sexual encounters with either sex because they are simply more conscious of how they react with each gender.
For example if they find over time that they aren't attracted to or aren't stimulated by the opposite sex but find they are attracted to members of the same gender they eventually conclude they're gay.
The same principle applies for bisexual people, if they find that they're attracted to members of both sexes they conclude they're bisexual.

-finding and ultimately accepting you have an attraction to members of the same sex isn't always easy, it can be a confusing a challenging time because theirs so many factors and issues rolling in your mind like why am I feeling this? Should I tell anyone? What will people think/say/do to me if I do? Is there anyone I can trust if I do tell? How do I keep it a secret and how long for? If I come out what will happen? etc...

Alot of confusion is caused by fear of rejection and even worse the possibility of being hurt in some way by the people we know. The fear of isolation and having nowhere to turn to.

I personally can't tell you much about how to help you with the situation your in because I never really had that problem, once the notion hit me I was fine with it and so were the people I told. It made other events in my life quite understandable all of a sudden, like when I was about 4/5 I used to dream about kissing male Disney characters like mickey mouse and goofy (not sure why it was goofy, probably because I saw him kissing other characters alot when I watched cartoons), that ofcourse was before I ever truly understood the concept of gender and sexuality, at that point I had no idea what gay/straight/bisexual even was until I was older, and when I did people seemed to have only bad things to say about gay people, though I don't recall them ever giving a valid/logical explanation as to why this was, so naturally being brought up with the idea that it was bad I never considered that I might like men because according to most people around me at the time being gay was a bad thing, and it's only natural to not try to associate yourself with somthing that the people around you don't like.
It wasn't until I was 14 I figured it out, by then I was around different people and the world had become more open about such issues so it allowed me to consider the possibilty I liked men.

I'm not sure what else I can cover right now since I got back from work about for hours ago and now it's around 6:30am and I'm tired.
Talk again laters...*goes off to bed*:svengo:

 

That should explain alot, after all he wasn't getting what i was saying -.- thanks there bud

 

thankyopu bishe lover for being so accurate with ur replies, very much apprecaited that, so any ideas what u think i should do, what do u feel when u know u are attracted to men

 

Not a lie, you just didn't realise your feelings earlier on like some.

By the sounds of it, you are gay and obviously don't want to be.

No one can really say anything that can change anything, you just have to accept what you are. It really isn't that bad being gay is it?