I don't really understand love or how it happens. I do know that I was in love once. I am probably still in love. I guess if it happens, it happens. But I think you've got to be ready to let it happen. And I, unfortunately, am not.
Right. I'm not, either. I associate being loved or desired in general with denying my selfhood. And I associate asserting my selfhood with being lonely.
then you're right, you really shouldn't be in a relationship. maybe you will someday meet someone with whom you can embrace your self rather than deny it... but it is true, those people are very hard to find.