always a cheater? i'm constantly worried about being cheated on. i've been with my boyfriend for only three and a half months. it seems like so much longer because we both fell hard for eachother and basically spend every possible second with eachother besides work/school. this must sound stupid since it's such a short time but i can't emphasize how close we have gotten in that time, plus i've actually known him for about six years. but do you think it's true that a cheater will always cheat? i have had one other serious relationship, which lasted for two years. we lived together and everything. he has had ??? he says two others but just today admitted to three. he never tells me the truth about anything. he keeps in touch with both of his exes, (but BEHIND MY BACK!) when one of his exes came to town he said he was going to be "busy with a friend" (we usually do EVERYTHING together, but i didn't want to upset him by asking why i couldn't join...) and later found out that his "friend" was his ex of three years. that is the ONLY time he has ever purposely hung out with a friend without me. why her? i can't help but wonder what really went on. he says they went for a walk and went to the beach. everytime i try to do something like that he refuses and says he doesn't like the beach or that he's too lazy to walk or he's too busy with his GODDAMN video games.. i am so fucking insecure. that is the real problem. but he cheated on all his other girlfriends, so won't he cheat on me? basically............ my question is... ONCE A CHEAtER ALWAYS A CHEATER?
most of the time. guys will usually say anything to get what they want. although, some men are trustworthy and I admire them for being true. You just have to trust your instincts and really pry someone to understand them the best you can.
I don't think a cheater will always cheat, but if you know for a fact he's hiding things from you, that seems to me to be reasonable cause for concern. Even if you tend to be insecure anyway, don't let that distract you from the possible realities of the situation. From personal experience, the times when I've been insecure with someone, I've discovered later that I had good reason to be, and despite generally having thought of myself as an insecure person, I did find someone once who I was actually secure with (because he was actually honest).
Well I like to sometimes listen to this radio show "love line" with dr. Drew on late nights. Pretty popular so I'm sure many of you all have heard of it. Anyway, it's really informative. A lot of people call about cheating, or being cheated on. Most of the time you can trace these problems back to the persons past, and if they cheated, or were cheated on, than most likely it will happen again. To change this, there often needs serious awareness in consciousness followed by serious commitment to change things about themselves or the relationships they get in.
I used to think that, but I don't know what I believe anymore. Let's just say I have had that happen to me and have found out about more and more over time. I was insecure and suspicious early-on and years later found out that I had been right. They say to trust your gut... but baggage from previous relationships can make us question our instincts. Something else to think about - some people are addicted to tragedy and subconsciously seek partners capable of whatever it is they are afraid of. Then, they spend their lives "waiting for the shoe to drop". That is no way to live. IMHO, you need to work on you first... besides, if your boyfriend isn't a cheater, does deserve to be treated like one? By the way, I wonder if he would like it if you spent your day at the beach with an old boyfriend and lied about it. Don't 'cha love it when they throw up the red flags and then try to convince you that there is no flag and it is all in your head?! So, you don't know if he was cheating, but you know he is capable of lying and doing things behind your back when he knows you wouldn't have felt comfortable with it. Just be careful with your heart! You don't wanna add to the baggage!
