1st time going barefoot = horrible experience for me

Anna, I hope this incident will not steer you away from barefooting. What you did in my opinion is take too big of a step too soon. I admire you for stepping out of your comfort zone, it produced a result, though not the result you expected. I'm sure you felt embarrasssed, vulnerable, under dressed and you just wanted to crawl under the table and stay there! You need to allow yourself to embrace those feelings, this will pass, trust me. In a few weeks I'll bet your freinds will have forgotten all about it, hey the sky didn't fall now did it? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

I might suggest keeping shoes at all times with you when you go out and about. When you get a little confidence, take 'em off, let someone see your feet and toes, enjoy the freedom. If and when you start feeling nervous and unsure, quickly slip them back on. Try this over and over, this will increase your confidence. One day you will sit back and laugh and will wonder why you were so nervous about going barefoot in the first place.

Take care.

:grouphug:

 

I still like my feet and the idea of going barefoot, but I'm a little 'fragile' in regards to doing so, with the recent bad experience still fresh in my mind... If I can work up the courage, I might consider trying a 'baby steps' approach, though. I was thinking of maybe popping in and out a few places, and definitely have a pair of shoes in my bag with me.... I agree that this might help build my confidence over time... We'll see, I guess...

 

Anna, first of all don't give up.

But moreover, a question: are you fragile under the physical aspect too, in your bare feet? ... I mean: are you able to deal with rough surfaces?

I think there's an inner connection between the two things, usually ... learn to beat sharp gravel and you won't fear critics any more. This is my idea.

Besos,

Flowwer

 

Anna - great idea! Go slow and easy. Make short trips. Go to the park, take off your footwear and stroll around barefoot. Go for a barefoot walk around your neighborhood. When you go to the movies slip off your footwear during the show and when its over stay barefoot when you walk out. Run short errands unshod - dry cleaners, post office, filling up your car, in and out of a 7-11 type place. There are loads of others. All of these little trips will build your confidence. Most people could care less if you're barefoot. Some will think you're nuts. Some will be jealous. It does not matter what anyone else thinks.

 

I agree that what you did was a bold move, but I don't think it was "wrong." I suspect that if you had worn flip-flops and kicked them off as soon as you arrived no one would have cared. Maybe your friends were just shocked that you arrived barefoot and didn't know how to respond. What amazes me is that the establishment didn't have a problem, just your friends. Hang in there. I think they'll continue to accept you for who you are even if they were a bit inappropriate that evening.

 

I'm with Toes, above.

I'm an older guy; can tell you there's nothing wrong with BF'ing if it's whatcha like. Folks will think it a bitt odd - but then again, there's a guy in Key West who runs every day in a HUGE woman's red hat, smiling and waving to everyone! A different kind of odd, that's all. You're not hurting anything - just challenging Western norms and ideals

Julius Stone, credited with reviving Key West's economy during the Depression, was the butt of many jokes as he paraded around in his 'underwear' - a pair of Bermuda shorts. This was the 1930's - grown men and women laughed at the idea of showing bare knees in public. This is a place where the temps are in the 80's day and night for 8 months straight - with 80% humidity. Can you imagine wearing long pants there?

Your friends have their feet up their butt. If they enounter you BF again and say something - walk out. There are broader minded folks out there.

 

Yeah, that sounds pretty horrible.

The real challenge in barefooting lies in coming to terms with convention. Some people can say, "Fuck it all," go barefoot wherever and whenever they please, and leave the world to deal with it. Others would prefer to compromise in order to avoid a fuss. Me, I belong to the second group. I like going shoeless, but I hate attracting the wrong kind of attention. In order to have my cake and eat it too, I've staked out about half-a-dozen nearby places, mostly parks, where I know the sight of my bare feet won't cause anyone to mistake me for a degenerate. Every week, I make sure to give myself a couple of hours' shoeless time in at least one or two of them. Everywhere else, I stay safely shod. It helps that I don't really mind the feel of shoes, and rather like the look of a well-made pair.

So your experiment taught you that you can't bar-hop barefooted without getting a ton of crap -- no big deal. Jjust cross it off your list and keep hunting for better venues.

Oh, and make sure to get your friends back. The holidays are coming -- at least some of them are bound to put on some extra padding. When that happens, wait till you're all out in public together, poke one right in the stomach and say, "Moooo! Look at angus here! You got a calf in there, or is someone fattening you up for the slaughter?" Justice will be served.

 

Well, anna, I'm a guy and you showed a lot more ballsiness than I've ever shown with this.

I walk on secluded residential streets, and that's about it. It's too cold now to go barefoot, so I probably won't actually be barefoot "in public" at any point in '08.

Do you have any secluded spots near you with just occasional people? That's a great place to start. Try a park or something. You might not want to do concrete right out of the chute because it's a pretty rough surface. Going barefoot is such a trivial thing; why anybody would blow it out of proportion is beyond me.

Like I said, though, congratulations for getting out there. You just may not want to dive into the deep end of the pool before you learn to tread water.

 

One thought. Maybe try going barefoot for coffee. I've had wonderful experiences at coffee shops - even the big chains like Starbucks. At worst, people are ambivalent, but usually I find employess to be uncharacteristically polite. If you're comfortable, perhaps invite one of your friends to join you. My experience is that one-on-one people are less judgmental and more accepting. Who knows. you may even convert one of your firends!

 

Anna,

It's been a long time since I have posted anything here. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a horrible experience. If it makes you feel any better, I had a good chuckle just reading about it. The thought of the one chick literally lifting your leg up to show your dirty foot off to a group of starngers somehow struck me as hilarious. Enough laughing at/with you though. Now for some advice.

I'll preface this by saying that in no way am I a full-time barefooter. I do however go barefoot in public more often than a lot of people. My advice to you is to indeed try the babysteps system you mentioned previously. I tend to barefoot more alone than in the company of others. I found fast-food restaurants, movie theatres, parks, the dry cleaners, some book stores (especially small privately owned ones), etc. all to be good places to start.

Take your shoes with you at first, maybe in a bag like you described, then start leaving them in the car. One of my best early barefoot experiences was when I was just ready to forego the comfort of having my shoes nearby. One summer day, I drove from Toledo (where I was living at the time) to Ann Arbor for their annual art fair. To get to the art fair, you have to park at an outlying location and take a bus downtown. It was so hard for me to leave my shoes in teh trunk of my car, but once I stepped on teh bus, it was out of my control. I'm happy to say that I didn't jump right back on the bus, but stayed out and enjoyed the art fair for a full day in bare feet.

Chad