What is it about parents and how they succeed at bringing down the maturation levels of their adult children? Normally it doesn't phase me but now I have this wretched feeling in my gut. They say it's just because they want to see me in the church (LDS), but I know they are just trying to feed me back some of the hurt I gave them from having a kid and cohabitating out of wedlock. They want me to feel guilty, and they think the guilt might prompt me to go back to church. I've given up on any hope that they will be happy without the expectation of me going back to church, so now if I want to have a r'ship with them I have to project a false image. Good for them, but undesirable to me. Does anyone ever feel they will only be free when their parents are dead? I figured parents want their kids to be happy, and my happiness levels have only increased since leaving the lds church. Now everything in my life is tainted with their stoic disapproval. I normally enjoy myself and my circumstances but they've ruined it this time. I normally have adept emotional control, but I don't know how to deal with this feeling. It's so immobilizing. I was going to introduce my wife to the realms of psychedelia this weekend with lsd, and we had a babysitter lined up. But I feel ill-prepared now and that we should wait, which sux cause it's not easy to get a sitter. I just don't want to dose if I'm not in my normal good mood. I don't really need advice, just comments from those who've felt the same. My parents have really bought into their own views, there's no wiggle room at all so talking to them seems like maybe I'm wrong. I just need a different frame of reference from ppl who've detached themselves from the emotional slavery of their cultures. I thought I was good at that; this is very surprising.
It was similar with my parents and their brand of religion. It took years for our relationship to go from general disapproval on their part to them being accepting of my choices. I mean years. Parents can grow up too.
cool thanks. I have older siblings who behaved worse than me in my 'rents eyes but they've reached a stasis. the trouble with me is I was so secretive with my personality as a teen and I served the two year proselyting mission, then abruptly indicated "fuck this" when it was really just me being honest for the first time. to them it was me being happy and turning my back on it, when really it was me cutting off the pretense they most desired for the sake of my own happiness. I don't know whether to keep standing up to them or to allow them to nurse the hope that I'll go back 2 church. my mom is borderline insane.
Standing up for my beliefs with the rents didn't do anything in my case, but make my poor mother pray harder for me. I'd just drop it and let them hope for whatever they hope for.
In my observations it's harder for mormans to let it go than others, as more morman kids stick with their religion than any other. Did you go through the whole process of having your name nixed from the books?
no I haven't been ex'd but I wouldn't care if I was. I let the home teachers come but I told them any more than quarterly is too often. I have nothing but praise for most of what they practice, except the principles of exclusivism and denial (in all its forms). It goes from a nice code of ethics to a destructive force when they take it so seriously. The need to convert others especially; i didn't care on my mission whether people were converted, I just liked the conversation. more mormon kids stick to their religion than others? that must apply outside of Utah which is where I'm from and they live. only 1 in 2 kids stay in the church. is that a lot? I have 5 sibs, 3 go to church, only 1 really believes it. but my 'rents only care about the projected image anyway.
Only 1 in 2? I would have thought it was more than that as I drew my assumptions on the three morman families I know personally. One has 4 for 4, another 6 for 8 and the other 4 for 6.
yeah outside of utah the mormons are more impressive people in general. they know they have to help the kid to love the church if they want him to stay in it. when I grew up it was always "you'll go to church whether you like it or not." i think they assumed that since most of the kids around me were mormon, that i'd get the right influences. that works sometimes but I was more interested in the darker, rebellious kids and smoked weed at age 12 xD btw i sent my mom an email saying how much sadness I felt after we talked and she responded by saying she was uplifted after. that made the wretched feeling in my gut go away since I knew she wasn't feeling it anymore. if that's what she needed to feel better then I can feel better too. i can probly trip this wknd after all
