I can't appreciate school anymore...

I have an immunology exam in 13 minutes and counting. I had all week to study. I've looked at the review sheets twice, and I could barely concentrate in class. It seems to have been like this since last semester. I barely scrape by with a passing grade- not acceptable in my field.

I'm a senior in college. A science major. Biomedical. Fuck, why did I do this to myself?

But nothing else is really interesting to me. At least nothing I could have a chance at making any money off of it. I love to write, but only do it on my own terms. I like art, but have no talent. Lab work and working with animals are the only things I could see myself doing. And yet, they pile a whole bunch of shit I'm never going to need on me (Physics?? To look at turd smears under a mircoscope?? What, is the roof going to cave in and I'll have to calculate a way out of the building for myself and my party??) and overload my schedule so that I burn out and forget why I'm here in the first place.

9:01. Better get walking to the science center. Feels more like I'm walking to the gallows...

 

how did you do ? =/

i fucked up all my grades in high school due to the last year - i bailed on too many lessons, doing drugs, drinking and just causing trouble. before that i was a way above average student.

ive always been really good at art, and always loved science.

now im doing engineering in college, just under 3 more years and i will be in UNI doing architecture. yeah, im currently taking the much longer, mathematical route instead of the art one...

why??? because i thought art wasnt something that i could make money from. i still do it for myself from time to time, when i have time left from other thinsgs. theres usually more then one way getting somewherre, choose your best and dont look back < that doesnt help, instead learn and appreciate that you still have something looking up for you.

i would love to be doing full on physics together with the maths this year, but were only doing like basic guidelines and shit just above common sense.

Architecture is something ive always been interested in, so once i begin doing it, im sure i will be flyin

bleh.

i wish you luck, even if it is late =)

 

Eeeesh. It was brutal. I remembered some key stuff, though, so I think I passed at the very least.

I hate that we're expected to choose a lifepath so early in life. We get pushed and pushed and pushed through school, and everyone thinks that if you quit for a while, you're a loser. Well, I'm sorry if I'm not the same person I was when I was 14 years old and was forced to choose a major, and I'm sorry that I'm different even from the 17-year-old who started a biology degree four years ago, but kids grow a lot in 7 seven years. My profession of choice is lightyears away from what I had intended when I was a freshman in high school: I used to be a veterinarian. Now, I want to be a farmer. But of course, I only realized that I didn't want to be a vet after my freshman year at college, and I only realized I wanted to farm in the middle of my junior year at college. But that time, I was too far along to do anything but change my Pre-Veterinary degree to a Biology degree.
At the moment, I've got my sights set on either veterinary technology/assist or just general lab work, but this is only to get me some cash to live on and put away for my farming dream.
*sigh* So much uncertainty... It's frightening planning the future. Very exciting, but scares me shitless.

 

Are you limited to your area? I wonder if your credits could transfer to another school; perhaps an agricultural college specifically.

Physics....ugh. Killed my post secondary education and lab tech dreams. I feel for ya.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean, Push, push, push, when I was in 7th grade the guidance counciler asked me what I wanted to be, I had no idea at that age, so much pressure she put on me, so I said business, tailored all my HS courses for business even went as far as a business degree and now I feel like what the fuck for! I have no interest in business and feel like doing something else but I don't know what....So as old as I am I still have no idea.... I think they confuse you in school and put to much pressure on you....

 

I think I may have found my issue. Check out my post in the existentialism forum and you'll see what I mean, lol.

I did not know such a thing existed. Either way, I don't think I would have the funds. I get to go to school basically for free (mother works there, so I get tuition remission as well as a bit that I work off on campus). I think I'm better off learning firsthand and maybe taking a few courses in agriculture and business.

:ack2:...

:grouphug:

 

fuck money
if you cant appretiate school
dont waste your money on it till its what you want to do
thats just how i look at it though
i guess if your ready to get a career and all that
just getting it over with though- thats depressing to hear
dont waste any of your life not being happy
i wouldnt be in school right now if my mother didn't give me such a big guilt trip
as soon as i graduate though im going to be free and live my only life the way i want
<3 good luck

 

Story of my life. My mom works in that hellhole of a school so I get to go for almost free. Now tell me I have a choice on whether or not I want to drop out.
Oh well. Little under 6 months left... Not so long...

 

aww
well thats not long at all then i guess
i hope you get through it alright then
you just should always know your options
people are always telling me "you have to go to college"
says who? that kind of thing really pisses me off
if you tell someone your not going they automatically think your going to be a failure
i might go when i would love to go to school and learn things
but right now
i would love to do other things
ill just always do what i love <3
but you probably have plans to stay in society and get a job doing something in the biomedical field
i have other plans for now but if thats what you want to do now then you are doing what you want :] thats so great

 

"Stay in society," haha. I like how you put that.
I agree that school should only be for those who are ready. As it stands now, it's a choice, but not really. Like you said, if you don't go, people take it as a license to be condescending: "if you don't do it now, you'll never do it. just look at my bumfuck inbred cousin who dropped out and said he would go back blah blah blah insert tired cliche about the impatience of youth here." Christly, there's no such thing as individualism to these people... Everyone's the same, right?
I go to a school where I am one of about 20 commuters. We get our own lounge- kind of like a dorm, but without the beds- where we can hang out, do homework, store our lunches, etc. I am the ONLY young student in there. The rest are middle-aged women in the accelerated learning program. And they're having the time of their lives. I don't want to hear that if you don't do it now, you never will. It's bullshit. These people have husbands, children- FAMILIES with PROBLEMS and LIVES just like any other functioning adult. And somehow, they manage to go to school, work part-time, AND have time for their families.

 

yea im kind of stupid when it comes to words ahah
your right, there is no such thing as individualism to them
i actually have a plan on what i want to do that doesn't involve making money
i want to live a selfless life in the wilderness
where i will have no other responsibility other than keeping myself alive
but most people dont understand that yea i know this girl i go to school with that i talk to
shes like please dont do that don't be homeless don't be a drone to society
she totally does not understand, but i know why i mean its mostly by the way she was raised after you talk to her for a while you can clearly see all the ways shes been influenced
i don't know if that makes sense
my mom is always like " do you want to flip burgers your whole life?"
i feel like it's the fear of being a "failure" like all these stories about people that don't go to college. its all about money, its true that if you don't go you probably wont make much money. Can't a person respect that some people just don't find a purpose in having money? Sure it can help so many peoples lives that are in need, but most people don't give to those that are in need they hog it up and listen to their television that says they need to buy more. I'm going to find a way to help people without money, maybe with some seeds. Learning how to make things myself that people have become so dependent on machines to do.
i know exactly what you mean i hear people tell people all the time " if you don't do it now you'll never do it"
all i can say is your completely right and if you don't want to do what your doing now
you dont have to - trust me
its true i know an older lady that goes to college and she is so excited about it, shes always talking about it. That's great i know one day ill find some things i WANT to learn about. There is this school that teaches natural healing and what different plants can be used for. I think i would LOVE to learn about that, you probably cant make much money off of it but it would be something i would enjoy. Why waste your life being miserable? My mom does that and i feel so bad for her
i feel like taking her away with me so she never has to worry about any of the stupid stuff she has clogged her mind up with
shes always upset with people in her work, her work
she works at great clips so she doesn't make much money
so living here with all of this
of course she's going to be miserable you know :/
its just a trick
you should listen to CRASS
or better yet, you can't really clearly understand everything their saying so read their lyrics
or listen to jeffrey lewis remakes
you don't have to but i find those songs very helpful in seeing through people trying to manipulate you