My dreads are about 4 years old, and hang down to my butt. I like them, but a guy I have been dating hates them, and says they feel "scratchy" when I hug him. Is there any way I can make my dreads softer without interfering with the new hair locking up as they grow?
hahahaha @ your sig pic. i read that on the news, funny funny stuff. as for the scratchy i have no idea? maybe its cause of the ends of the hair pokin out and theyre rough.. maybe aloe to smooth it all down and soften it a bit?
Personally, I think he's just being a picky control freak. He doesn't like the dreads at all. I'll try the aloe. He grows lots of aloe, has huge aloe plants all over his porch he's rather fond of, so hopefully he'll feel appreciated to put them to good use. How old/long are your dreads, Stalk?
You mean the invisible marmoset that lives in my dreads and steals all my pens? Dammit! How'd you know about him? Has he been stealing my internet access again?
apple cidar vinagar rinces soften them slot but i think u just need a new boyfreind one who loves your dreads and wouldnt even complain just be thankful for the opputyunity to hug you can i hug u?
I'd just purchased a bottle of cider vinegar, and the bottle broke all over my kitchen floor - shards of glass and vinegar everywhere, and my kitchen still smells. The kids are going to complain when they get home. Matt and I have been kind of on and off since we met. The dreadlocks have been a continual source of conflict. He also doesn't believe it's possible to get them "clean" enough. The proverbial last straw came, however, when some brother put his hand on my shoulder and blessed me for my beautiful kids at the Rainbow drum circle on the Woodstock Green, and Matt offered me disinfectant when we got back to the car! In a way it's not his fault, he's got a mental disorder, and is OCD and germ-obsessed and genuinely doesn't see the extremity of that, but it really is approaching my limits of tolerance, even taking his mental illness into consideration. Has anyone tried nettle vinegar on their dreads? You make it by steeping nettles in vinegar until the vinegar darkens. It's a good conditioner for hair, and removes residue like cider vinegar does. Ordinarily I appreciate hugs, but I'm kind of neutral towards them right now.
i guess i can understand that i mean everytime ya get hugged your thought of as a disease carrier thats enoiuygh to turn anyone off.. buyt ya know im noi germaphobe u could be completely covered in mud head to toe and id still hug ya tight as can be umm but your bf..is he getting help..is he in therapy or anything? if not..then the last straw shoulda been the last straw.. but if hes at leazst trying to conquer iytt its matbe wirth supporting him and staying and hoping.. but if hes just acepted it and isnt willing to even try to fixthings then well..nothin will ever get better
He's in therapy and taking medication. It's something he struggles with on a daily basis, and he has up days and down days, which is why I'm going through the effort to see if there's anything I can do to soften the dreads.
awww... *hugs* i don't know if i could handle dating a germophobe... but i hear ya on the "scratchy" dreads. i'm allergic to wool, and as dreads sometimes feel kinda wooly, sometimes they feel wierd to me. lol, and my loverman is always complaining about how they poke him in the eye when i lean in to kiss him. if they'd only grow.... i applaud you for wanting to stick it out to see if it "gets better," but the thing is, with most OCD people, it never goes away. even if he gets his compulsions under control, he'll still probably be all about the cleanliness, and it'll still bother him to some extent. if you are setting off his compulsions because of your dreads, or because you don't mind being touched by other people, you might be making things worse for him instead of better. i'm just spitballing here, so please don't take offense at any of what i'm saying. just offering my thoughts...
mud therapy... go outto the woods make a great big mudpuddle strip down naked and roill around ion it together playfully make it fun playful..more about the closeness and fun then thge mud itself but if ya can get him to actuyaly enjoy being intimately close while covered in mud..even if it only lasts a few minutes at leasy it dshould help him realize a lil bit of dirtiness anit gonna kill him and if jhe lightendss up sa bit could be a hell of alotta fun
your dreads are mature enough to condition them - with actual conditioner (there are some nice all natural varieties). The only thing is they might be frizzier for about a week, but it won't effect the new growth. In fact, strangely enough... after I conditioned my dreads last winter they actually got KNOTTIER. Very strange. But I suspect no matter how soft you manage to get them they will still annoy him because he hates them and the "scratchy" argument is just one of many that I'm sure he has against them.
