Reality Vs. Dream & The Death Of A Friend

ok, here's a mindfuck dream (or series of) for you, and probably the most fucked up and emotional series of events to ever happen in my life, and im going to share it with you. ok here it goes

about 4 years ago, i got a call in the middle of the night from one of my closest friends who lived over the hill from where i lived. "You gotta come get me, man. I'm gonna kill myself". Those words have echoed through my mind ever since the moment they were spoken. not a day goes by without hearing them. anyways, after hearing them i selfishly blew off the importance of them and told him "sorry, man im tired as shit" and in midsleep hung up on him. I had been depressed as well at the time so i guess thats why i didnt sympathize as much as i should have.

Well, the next day i had forgotten about the ordeal until later in the day when i realized what i had done. I quickly called him to see what he was up to. He was at home by himself, sounding really down and depressed. We set up a smoking session for the next day down by the creek where we would ride our bikes to meet halfway (we werent old enough to drive yet).

That night i had a crazy dream about the next day in which the guy who owned the property by the creek drove into the grove in a red truck and chased us off with a shotgun. It kind of scared me but the next day i went anyway. When we got there, i packed up a bowl and we smoked a joint and got ripped out of our minds. So were sitting there talking about shit, and i mention the dream to him in complete detail to which he is bewildered for a minute or two of silence. Then, without warning, out of the trees from the road comes a red chevy truck driving right into the grove where we were sitting. We didn't say a word because we were literally in a mental shock. I couldnt even get it together by the time the beer-bellied hillbilly property owner opened his mouth to say "Can't you fuckin kids read?" ..a moment of silence then "Read what sir?" "Posted signs all over the fuckin trees." "Oh, sorry we were just waiting on a friend to meet up with us here" "This aint no hangout spot for burnout kids. Get the fuck off my property, and if i find out it was you two who vandalized my shed, there isnt gonna be a property cause to keep me from using this shotgun" to which he displayed his gun case he had in the bed of his truck. We left and didnt say much about what happened. I think we were too freaked out.

The rest of the day my friend seemed really down. "Why is everyone in the world so shitty" he said to me "We can't all enjoy the wonders of the herb" i said back to which we packed up another bowl (our last one). When i got home i reflected on the day and just looked at it as a bad coincidence. Well, the next two days my friend wasnt in school. I wondered what was up but didnt get the chance to call him til it was too late.

So im sitting in math class when i get this text "Ryan killed himself this morning" The initial shock of disbelief quickly left as i thought about how down he was and then i remembered the phone call. When i got home, i rode my bike up to his house. When i saw all the cars there i knew, and simply turned around and went back home past the grove by the creek and up the hill.

After losing so much sleep i thought i would lose it until i finally drifted off. My dream wandered back to that grove by the creek as my dead friend stood there, noose around his neck and begging me to save him from death. I am unable to do anything and he simply vanishes out of sight to which the setting changes to night and everything is still and silent while i weep on my knees overlooking the water.

This dream still occurs to this day, more than 3 years later. It often changes in small details but the core remains. I hear him in every nightmare, in every person that is depressed, in every suicide related thing i hear. I am literally haunted by him, and it is all because i feel like i could have helped him had i not ignored his calls for help.

I have come to grips with all of this, and even though i hate these memories they make me stronger. I have changed since he left, and i am now a better person. I now see life differently and I try to put others before me and i strive to be a good person and be careful not to cause others despair.

When dreams and reality collide, they can make more meaning out of traumatic life events and in turn can change someone's life. I would still be less than half the person i am today had my conscience not interpreted my nightmares. They were brutal, but they may have saved me from the same fate as my friend. I am now happy with life, and have the rest of my life to spend with my girlfriend and my daughter. I could never kill myself as i love life too much to give it all up.

 

qft. Let's see all the nay sayers that say that dreams have no meaning try to dismiss this as mere coincidence.

 

Wow that's sad..

Sorry to hear that