pregnant and looking for a commune.

i'm not in the best situation as of right now..
i am seventeen, pregnant, single and just on the brink of homelessness. my mother and father love me but can't bear the responsibility of having me in the house while bringing a child into the world. now before someone goes off on how my parents can't kick me out at seventeen, the fact is that i ultimately belong to the state of pennsylvania until i am eighteen because of some trouble i got into in the past. i have a caseworker and whatnot and when my parents say the word i can be placed in a group home (which is just out of the question). before i became pregnant, i was living on my own and working in New York City with my parent's permission and involvement... i was considered emancipated at that point. i was offered a great opportunity there and the only hangup was that i found out i was with child. with the advice of some friends and trusted adults, i went home.

i have been talking to my parents about the idea of living in a commune. i am (and have always been) what some might call a "hippie" i was thinking about going west to live this out before i found out about the baby. i learned from a few posts on this forum that communes aren't very welcome to pregnant mothers/parents? i found that shocking (and unsettling) considering i always felt that people like me held childbirth as a significant and beautiful thing in a woman's life. i would like to know why this is if anyone knows.

anyways, i have alot to offer. i am an artist and poet, a hard worker, and i believe in paying it forward. i've learned to appreciate folks more since i've been in this tough situation and i never take anything without giving back. i might be young but in the short time that i've been here on earth i've learned the importance of family (not just blood related), unconditional love, and being grateful towards those who give even the smallest bit of help. i feel that if i was accepted into one of these communal families that i would be able to offer something to them, whether or not i recieve in return. i would be so grateful for a tent, a bit of food, some love and people who share my philosophy on life. i am determined to raise my child, but i have alot of learning and growing up to do as well. i suppose somewhere out there there are people who are willing to teach me.

i geuss i've argued my case. i have one week and two days until my second trimester. as much as i am ashamed to say this, abortion will be the only option if i do not find a place to call home by the end of this week. i cannot bring a human life into this world while living under the conditions that will ultimately be forced on me. i could not give a child that kind of life. and adoption is out of the question for personal reasons.

any kind of help or advice or info on possible communes would be nice. anywhere in the US is a possibility for me. god bless anyone who can help me~

 

There are definitely communes that accept families/single mothers. Try ic.org. A lot of communes list what types of members they are looking for on their sites. I'm trying to get into one now in Virginia...it's a few miles away from one called Twin Oaks, which has been around since '67, and I know they have pregnant women there a lot. I don't know what kind of members there accepting at the moment, though.

I would say you should rethink the abortion option, not because I'm pro-life (I'm not), but because I think you sound rather mature for your age and you sound like someone that would make a good mother, and just because it's born into tough circumstances doesn't mean you're going to stay in those circumstances forever. Remember, all a baby needs for the first 6 months is love and milk. It's a gradual process, much like life in general. It's up to you, of course, but I wouldn't want you to make the choice because you feel you have no other options, because from your post it sounds like you would regret that decision.

-Kate

 

thank you for the response. i actually haven't gotten to the website you suggested yet (it's cloudy out here, bad internet therefore) but i really do appreciate your help. i absolutely agree that abortion is not the option for me...

 

I'm anxious to talk to you more about your situation... I would like to PM you... but it appears that I cannot... I think you may have to have a certain amount of posts or have been here a certain amount of time in order for you to be able to receive PMs...

 

you can email me anytime razorbladebones@hotmail.com or if you have aim its wtfitsbianca420. i need all the help i can get

 

Should you find yourself in california, my house is always open to weary travelers I meet. If you should come to this area, you can stay here as long as you want.

 

All I can say to you is... good luck, momma! I always dreamed of having a child on a commune... I think it'd be a beautiful thing for many reasons... but it's not something that's been forced on me. I hope everything works out for you and your child.

 

travelinmama, can you please let us know whether you found a way out of your predicament?
I guess I'm not the only one who's been touched by your story - and was brooding over how to help you - and is still concerned about whether you found a way out ...