this is hilarious

i'm drudging through old things in search of that recommendation letter i mentioned in the convo thread and found this old book of really shitty poems i wrote in like...the beginning of tenth grade or something.

i found this one poem from the point in my life where i got dragged into religion by this girl that i was dating and totally let it consume me blindly and it was a very immature time of my life (obviously, it was 10th grade).

well i remember i smoked weed before the conversion, and then afterward obviously renounced it. but not only did i say "no, i don't smoke weed anymore," apparently i become one of "those" kids. you know, one of those "wow, you're retarded if you smoke weed" kids.

yeah, it's hilarious. what's even more hilarious is that less than a year later i broke up with that girl, ditched the religion thing, and went back to smoking weed. i was such a stupid kid, basing my values off the people i hung out with (again, tenth grade).

thank god though for my junior year, because i finally fully shed all those stupid blinders and falsehoods and the immaturity and started basing my morals and values on things that i actually stopped to think about.

BUT, i getting to the hilarious part, so i found this poem i wrote from that straightedge point of time in my life, and it's so hilarious that i must share (not to mention that it's just a god awful poem).

i'm going to type it exactly how it's written, lack of punctuation and all:


Pothead Kicker

why don't you put that pipe down
and pick a book up
I think your parents should lay the smackdown
before you fuck up
"ooh, marijuana, it's ecstasy
everything is better
look at my eyes man
they keep getting redder and redder
your friend wants to smoke
and i think you should let her"
that's what you think huh?
wow that's a surprise
what you say is true
but only the thing about your eyes
so that's what you thought
that she should get fried
well about her wanting to smoke
i think that she lied
and yeah, i tried it before
and it did open a door
and then it opened another
another and another
but i got outta that trap, outta that maze
i opened my eyes and stopped getting blazed
marijuana isn't ecstasy, it's more like false hope
so you are what you smoke, just another fucking dope


aside from the horrible, veiled logic of my tenth grade, inconsistent brain, i think that last line is actually pretty clever, ha!

oh man, i was so retarded in tenth grade. god damn that girlfriend i had and changing everything i believed to suit her! that's why you don't need to fall in "love" when you're 15.

either way, as this long post winds down, i figured you'd enjoy how hilariously retarded that poem was.

 

bahahahahhhahahhhhhhhhhaaaha :rofl:

 

Ahah, I loled.. true true on that last 2 lines.. quite clever. Ah just thinking of all the dumb poems I'd write in 7th -8th grade during my somewhat "downer/emo" phase

 

Sorry dude you were a dumbass when you were my age.

You know.

 

Man Horace, you should submit this shit to the Above the Influence people and make a dank ass commercial outta it.

 

I got confuse in the middle. Quite bad like you said but funny at the same time

 

lol awesome

 

what's funny is that when i was a freshman in high school i was way more mature. it's pretty much why when i look back at my life in succession of grades, i always go "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12..."

i consider 10th grade the lost year.

so did all the friends i had in 9th grade that i reunited with in 11th grade.

 

The poem made me laugh aloud. It failed epicly.
your such a beast Horace. Your just awesome

 

i wish i could remember who the girl was.

 

10th grade was the lost grade for me... It sucked hardcore i had pretty much no freinds

 

i disowned most of mine because they weren't religious.

thank god they all knew that i was just being retarded and that when i finally came around they were more than happy that i was back to being who i was before all that bullshit came along.

leave it to women to try to ruin everything.

 

"so you are what you smoke, just another fucking dope"
hahaha best line ever!

that's awesome horace.. i laughed out loud.

 

So you basically were a douche during your 10th grade year

 

essentially, yes.

 

but you came back around the following year so its all good.

 

i thought the poem was good actually. The topic was off but other than that..it was well worded. you should write another one that pronounces the opposite -your love for ganja-

 

i did come back around, yes. thank god (irony!).

and i don't necessarily "love the ganja," per se, but i am a proponent of its use and its recreational use.

plus, i could never top michael franti: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owphTC5lgzc

 

Was that meant to be rapped?