this is mainly for the guys. My situation: hadn't had sex before my current gf my gfs situation: 17 previous partners we're both 20 years old. She tells me she loves me and this is the first time shes actually felt truly in love, but that 17 previous partners thing is really starting to annoy me. Im the first brown guy shes dated ;D and she says i please her the most easily, so why is that previous partners number so damn annoying! anyone else in my situation? she was a skank during high school (just when she was 14-16 years old) and she hates her past and doesn't even tell her closest friends about it. Only me and her last serious boyfriend know about her past. As a guy, how would you feel if you were in my situation?
i'm not a bloke, but i'll chime in anyway it was in the past, and there is absolutely bugger all you can do about it! she's not proud of it, though i feel sad that she feels bad about it. shame and guilt are two of the most destructive emotions, and achieve nothing. so knowing there is nothing that you can do about it, can you accept her for who she is now, not what she did before she met you? she tells you she loves you, but do you love her? if you do, you can find a way to make it work. if you dont, or you feel you will never accept her past then let her go so she can find someone who can, and you can find someone you feel happy with
If your going to dwell on her past and not who she is now then your getting nowhere and fast. She was what she was and is what she is. So you were not her first and only deal with it or get out. Some peoples hang ups....
If you think she is a skank, leave. Why subject either one of you to a relastionship that you are unhappy in. She has a past, and people make mistakes that they regret. It makes her human! She was young, and probably having sex before she was emotionally ready for it. A lot of teenagers do, and pay for it well into their 20's. She admits to her past, and doesnt try to hide it from you. Sounds like she wants the chance to be with Mr. Right....and she thinks you are that man. Reverse the situation...how would you want her to handle the situation? Would you want her to be understanding and supportive? Or, would you like her to post your secrets on a public forum? To stumble upon a post made by someone you love calling you a skank (or any other derogatory term) is beyond hurtful. I hope, for her sake, that she does not read what you wrote because it would shatter her trust in you, and it sounds like she is desperately seeking someone to trust. Then again maybe she needs to know how you really see her.
My fiancee and I have talked about our previous sexual experiences a few times. And as conservative and old-fashioned as she is, she has more sexual experiences under her belt. What initially made me a teensy bit insecure wasn't so much the fact that she's had several men before me as the fact that compared to hers, my sexual experience was not much. I felt envious! lol But I quickly got over it. So what if I wasn't the first? I am the current and soon-to-be husband. And I enjoy making her cum way too much to bother about who used to make her cum. Just focus on the fact that THIS time YOU'RE the one she's making love to, YOU'RE the one inside her making her moan - not anyone else.
What is it with, men and their hang ups on women's past sexual experiences? We spend most of our single life trying to get a girl to throw leg and when we found out that we weren't the firs we label them sluts or skanks. WTF Over? Grow up. 17 past partners. Christ thats not many at all. You might be envious of her experience and that is fine but you have to own that emotion, thats your crap no hers. If it was me I'd thank my stars that I wouldn't have to teach her every thing, that maybe I'd learn something useful. Remember, it hypocritical to label a girl a skank for having many partners and labeling a guy a stud for the same thing. This stems from mens insecurities, that there might have been some one in her past that was better than you! So don't be a Needle dick and man up and Shag her better than any one.
Hmm. I am just like you're gf. Even the 14 yr old part. I hate it but it happened. Can't change my past. I know how you feel because my BF feels the exact same. The only reason it bothers you is because you can picture her in you're head fuckin every single guy in her past. It's called jealousy. I too feel the same way about my BF except that he was a virgin. The one and only thing that fucked me up the most was knowing that he wanted to have sex with this hell disgusting manly looking fat bitch 1 week before we started dating. One day we were in the City and we walked passed a food store and she was in there and called him in. I knew who she was and I told him directly "If you go in there, I'm walking off. If you walk in there you're walking out on our relationship". And the fucker walked in. And the worst thing was that I couldn't leave him even though he ditched me because he came crying back to me and begging for me back. It kinda made me stop being so mad that he actually finally realized that she was that bad looking. He only used to think she was hot because he used to be so fat even in the first few weeks we were dating. Then he lost weight and everyone still tells me I'm too good for him. I still can't believe I started dating a fat guy. Wow I was drunk off my head. P.S. I think the fat was growing over his eyes and made him see fat girls as skinny and ugly manly girls as hot.
i no exactly how u feel man i mean its easy 2 say move on and forget about her past but its just not that easy... i have a simialr problem, where my gf told me about her past relationships, it kept me up 2 many nights just thinking about it, i try 2 forget about it, but its not that easy....it still annoys me
Is it truth what she tells you? May be she wants you to think about herself as if she is very skillful in bed? I don't say it's bad. Just try to understand her. I don't believe she had 17 partners...
I didn't say it was easy. Depending on your social/cultural background, it can be difficult. For instance, I live in a predominantly Catholic society where the idea that a girl who's no longer a virgin (outside of marriage, that is) is somehow "ruined" is still maintained by many people - albeit not as many as before. So you can just imagine how many men here probably feel the way you do (and btw, I used to feel that way too). But you can either let it ruin your present relationship or you can decide not to. Not easy, but you do have a choice.
