Hi how is everyone keeping, Well my whole story is just too long to write so ill try to be brief! My guy and i split up after 11 years, well 12 in the end. It just wasn’t working anymore, although i loved him we reached a point where no argument would be resolved and could not agree, didn’t seem to be going the same direction anymore etc, it caused emotional exhaustion and unhappiness. So i left with a heavy and broken heart into a new and unfamiliar world. we never really entered NC and began seeing each other 1 month later. it was bliss, the whole experience gave us the kick to grow up and start listening to each other again, we resolved allot of old issues and just couldn’t get enough of each other 7 months in he tells me he met a girl right after we broke up and she was 7.5mnts pregnant and he knew all along. he spent allot of time with her, but it was just sex etc..I can’t live without you.. I need you..your all I ever wanted.etc I lost something inside me that day and never got it back. and I couldn’t believe he kept it from me all that time. So I stood by him and it was just a messy tangle of resentment and confusion for us both, coping with spending time with the baby together, allot of mind games on his part and I plunged into a paranoid, bitter depressed wreck!! I just couldn’t cope and how we lost each other even when we were still together and how much we had changed. I had to walk away and go through the loss all over again. I thought it would be easier this time because im certain its the right thing so much has went on since the baby was born last October, there is allot of hurt and resentment there. I desperately miss what we used to be and no matter what it can never be like that again. It’s been 8 weeks since we split, self esteem is so low im deeply unhappy and very lost, not sleeping etc, I don’t feel I fit in anywhere and have become very withdrawn and lonely and I know going back isn’t an option as it will surely be the end of me . To make it worse he continues to contact me pleading for another try. I’m doing my best to be around my family and friends, and keep busy but the emptiness and doesn’t go away. ive always been artistic and enjoy music and cooking but I just don’t enjoy anything anymore. sorry to go on, just helps to write. thanks
I feel you. I too went though the same thing. Mine was 11 years togather. We have been broke up for almost 7 months now. He cheated and lied to me about it to my face. I think they WISEup. The saying" you never know what you have till its gone." Mine NOW He wants to work thing out but my feeling are getting in the way. I want answers that he can't answer. He can't talk to me is his main problem of all. We were building a house togather and it came between us. He says other wise but we were happy up till the house. She is a home wrecker and i have other words for her but I want say them. She had it done to her, so why not screw someone elses life up too. But It will get better i promise. I was the same way. No sleeping or eating. I was a wreck. Lost almost 40 lbs. from it. So I know what you are going though. Hang in there. Now I get noticed by guys more, I have got asked out on a few dats but have not went yet and for my number. So for me it has been a seld esteem booster. I have started going out and meeting new people. Go to night clubs, comecy clubs or just any where you can meet new people. Don't just go jump into a relationship. You need your healing time. If you need to talk let me know. Hope it all works out for you.
The only way to get past it is time. You have spent a long period of time being a couple, and it takes a while to get used to being single again. Take up activities you enjoy, spend some time getting to know yourself again, and don't stress if some days you break down crying. A lot of us have been there, and over time it gets better. Good luck on your journey
thank you for your replys. yea i guess time is the only healer here. im keeping busy and spening time doing things i enjoy, there are easier days and some not so easy. weekends are harder for some reason but im in a better place now than i was over the last year so i keep reminding myself of that, its just sad that things worked out the way they did, although i think it will be for the best in the long run. thanks again
