my hair vs. my girlfriend

do what you want with your hair. it seems like a lot of women are afraid that if their significant other isn't attractive enough to every other woman on the planet, that they get looked down upon for not being with a good looking enough partner. this is bullshit in my opinion.

i had the good fortune of being with someone who was (and still is) completely supportive of my dreadiness. do i look like the same old me? hell no. do i look like a happy me? fuck yea!

the point is, if you and your girlfriend try not to change too much in order to keep your relationship together, it's a guaranteed way to make it fall apart. because when you aren't growing, you're not happy. that's the way human life is. you just don't stop growing or changing. it all boils down to whether or not the growth and change are in areas that are still compatible with the person you're with. if not, you split ways and find a new person who's at a point in their life that's compatible with yours. if it maintains, and you grow and change together and it continues to work, that's just fucking awesome.

but most of all, do what you want for you. don't ever let yourself compromise who you are and what you want from your life just because of someone else. that's just plain old stupid, lol!

 

I am so stupid I forgot to say what I wanted to scrantoms.:svengo:

anyhoo, almost everyone I knew said locks would be a bad thing. I never understood how a natural form of living and expressing yourself could be bad...

Sorry, I digress... but I got them anyway. I love each and every one, the blunt tipped one, the frizzy one with a long paint brush tip, and yes even the pain*in*the*ass short locklings at the nape of my neck that stick straight up even after much coaxing...:banghead: having locks helped me let go so many pretentious hangups i thought mattered in life. I am finding that the same people that were like chilled out and appreciated my feelings about my locks (even though they would not feel the same) Or they too changed a bit because of how I perceive things now. You know lead by example eh? And those who did not change their non nonsensical detesting of something that is a symbol of my personal/spiritual growth and maturity, let us just say, they helped weed negativity out of my life... so its a win-win.

but obviously you do not want to lose your girlfriend. But think of it this way, it is testing her personal/spiritual maturity. Its not about looks( as you know) So she should love you for you. and your locks are just an extension of your soul. You never know she may grow with you. I hope she chooses that path as it is a wonderful thing when you can grow in this way with the one you love.

Brightest Blessings !
Sundari

 

i'm going to throw in my 2 cents!

dear scrantoms:
as a chick you can imagine that i faced a similar problem when deciding to put in dreadlocks, especially living in a community where they are few and far between (i was in ahwatukee, AZ then, a suburb of phoenix near ritzy-ish chandler.) i have ALWAYS had a hangup about what other people think about me and have been rebelling against 'societal norms' since i could remember to combat this, but in the end i always chickened out and succumbed. i am sad to say this is what happened with my locks as well. i and a friend put them in and i was ridiculously pleased with myself. i loved them and i loved the way they looked. i loved the ease of care and their quirks and the time i had to spend with them (like a child or a pet, heh.) then i met a guy and after looking at my previous photos and talking about how great i looked- i freaked a bit and combed them out. he of course went nuts about how great i looked, etc. but i regretted the decision since.

the oddest bit? he was the only one who was vocal about the locks being ugly, so i don't know if anyone else felt that way, but the rest of the people who said anything about it were very complimentary. the general sentiment was, pre-locks, "man, that'll look weird and gross" and then after i put them in, "well, i don't usually like them but i like them on you." the basic point of all this: i'm a groovy person and i can rock any hairstyle (i've had a shaved head and pink hair and all sorts of things before) because i am super far out on the inside.

you seem like you have a stellar personality and your girlfriend seems to recognise this as well. it's not divisive enough to cause a break, man, and if it is, there's something warped. hair is hair, and if you argue about it i'd suspect there's something deeper behind it (as was evidenced by your girlfriend saying she was stressed out, etc.) keep them clean to prove to her they're not dirty, and groove on them! a note: i had similar prejudices before after dating a guy who had dreadlocks, because he didn't wash them as often as he should have and was rather a smelly character- but then again i detested him as a person after a while, and wouldn't have thought diddly about his hair if i hadn't wanted him to drop off the face of the earth.

hair's a scapegoat for emotion, just make sure that emotion's a positive one!

peace and corn muffins.
oshinn

p.s. i think you would look awesome with locks.
p.p.s. going to click "post quick reply" for this makes me giggle because it's a mile long.

 

:cheers2:

I feel the same way, you would look awesome with locks!

and Oshinn, I did the same thing when I made my previous"quick post" that was a mile long! LOL

 

off topic I know, but how can you comb them out- What is the process? and how did you hair end up afterwards? Can you de tangle after they've locked?

 

musique, i just didn't put them in well, i guess. this has happened twice now, but they were only 2-3 weeks old when i combed them out. i did it very patiently and lost a lot of hair in the process, but i have tons of hair so it didn't really matter.

past that time i'm sure i wouldn't have been able to get them out! but i hear if you wash them with conditioner enough times they relax, like normal hair...

.....(soaringeagle?)

 

thank you so much guys

such good vibes on this forum, i like it.

 

you are most welcome!


Yes these forums are great! a lot of fab people on here!!!

 

these forums make me happy in my no-no place <3

(that's my heart, jeez, i'm sensitive, you perverts, gosh)

 

:hat: LOL that is funny as shit!

 

its called CONDITIONAL love. and its ruining you guys apart. fuck ye.

 

u should not let ur girlfriend tell you what u should do w. ur hair if your trying to do ur own thing and be ur own person and everything then guess what do your own thing and what makes u happy u dont tell her how she should get her hair cut or styled do u? then she should not b able to tell u... unless u do then its right that she can tell u


Glad my boyfriend loves them and even did everything for them