terrible problem (you like giving advice?)

so.
i've had a boyfriend for over 2 years now. at first we had this amazing connection.. i don't know if we've lost it or just gotten used to it..
i started college this year. i've been meeting a lot of new people.
there's one in particular. i think about him way too often these days.. i can't believe it but just after a few days knowing him i'm wondering if this guy's my soulmate. we talked for a good amount of time the other night.
i still love my boyfriend.
this new guy has a girlfriend anyway.
i'm being torn up in this strange emotional disaster.
the end.
(help?)

 

You may not like it, but here's my advice:


Go with the flow.

 

omg!! i love that artist in your sig, who is he agian?! ahhh, i can't remember the name...
umm, yes i also say go with the flow

 

the artist is salvador dali...
and i'm trying to go with the damn flow, i'm usually good at it..
but this is so hard!

 

I think the feeling of losing connection can be a complicated beast. It could just be your imagination because you know all the big exciting things about each other; you're just so used to being together that you sometimes forget to share the little things that slowly add up to how we all grow as people. It's so easy to loose grasp of communication; especially if say, you're in college meeting new people, having exciting new experiences; and he's uncomfortable with that (that may or may not be true, just an example). You would likely resent him for that, whether or not you realise it.

Of course, it could also be that both of you have already changed for a multitude of other reasons, and are just stuck in a quagmire; I really have no idea. I definitely wouldn't put too much interest into someone you've only known for a few days, though... Relationships can be the ultimate headache at times, but sometimes they're worth it

 

Congratulations! You're growing up. You've decided subconsiously, to get on with your life.
Where ya going to School? St. Cloud? It's the best in the state!

 

damn right i'm growing up.. now the question is.. what the hell do i do? i feel like i should break it off, get out there, experience new things.. but at the same time i love him and i hate hurting anyone i love.. goddamnit.

 

Talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling & that you're starting to feel an infatuation for someone else. In the short term, this is going to hurt him. There is no question about that... Well, unless of course the feeling of distance is mutual. Given what you are feeling, it is unreasonable to expect to be able to just continue on in this relationship without some major work. However, if you are honest with him about your feelings, you may be able to figure out what is wrong in the relationship, which is your only chance of saving it. I wouldn't get too wrapped up in this other guy -- he is most likely NOT your soulmate, your interest in him is most likely nothing more than a symptom of some serious issues in your current relationship.

You have a few options now. You can break up with him without getting into why (your interest in another guy, which seems like it will hurt him more than just being dumped). That will hurt him. You can stay in this relationship, while thinking about this other guy, until 6 months down the road you realize you just can't take it any more & dump him. That will hurt him more. Plus, by dragging it out, you may cause him to miss his chance with someone else. Or, you can tell him the truth, hurt him now, but possibly work things out to make this last, if that's what you really want. But, whatever you do, please don't just drag this out for fear of hurting him, cuz that only makes it hurt more.

 

damn. thanks for the advice... easier said than done, to be sure. life just sucks sometimes..