So my b/f is a heroin addict...

i'm scared. it scares me a lot actually. He actually got off heroin a while ago but that was only to get on methadone which is like government prescribed heroin. He was at a really high dose too which scared me.

when we started dating i didnt really kno about it. i just knew that he had to take his meds everyday and he'd be fine. what i didn't kno is that for him it was like taking 9 bags of heroin every morning. and if he didnt take it, he'd feel like total shit. his legs would hurt, his skin would crawl, and he couldnt stay at a normal body temperature to save his life.

In fact, the only time he ever relapsed on heroin was when he wasnt able to make it to the clinic on time so he missed a dose. he did six bags of heroin that day.

now that he's dating me however, he says he wants to be clean and stay clean. so he did this program thru his clinic to get him off the methadone in a little less than a month. that seems awfully fast for the dosage he was on. he went down 3mg every single day.

im so worried about him. he seems miserable. he hardly ever complains but i can tell when it gets to him. i dont really kno what the side effects of withdrawel are but i kno he can hardly ever sleep, his bones ache, his skin crawls, he gets really clammy, and his nose gets runny. i want to do anything i can to help him but whenever i ask him if he needs anything he always says no, he just wants me to stay there with him.

im so scared i don't kno what to do. has anyone else had to go thru anything like this? i'm so scared he's gonna relapse if i'm not always with him. its so easy for him to get. he used to do it with his sister and his sister is still doing it. what do i do?? this hurts so bad im so so scared for him...

 

odds are, he'll relapse. you could not have been with him too long. I would go ahead and walk away.
Of course thats the conservative in me bettin the odds.
Good luck but prognosis not good.

 

Have to agree.

 

You can help him through your support much more that you can't do smack is the devil. He has to want to help himself before anything else will work. Tell him it's smack or you and mean it. Don't baby him. He needs a reason to quit. He can kick it but it is a long road.

Peace

 

You're 19. Don't do this to yourself.
There is a perfect guy for you waiting out there for you to find him...if I had stuck with the alcoholic I was dating at 19, I would have a really shitty life right now instead of the great one I've got.

 

Amen kitten.

 

I have to agree. I dated a heroin addict before and It's not fun.
Don't just stay for him because it's not fair and you'll eventually start feeling guilty for things he does and that's not right. Just be careful.
I don't know him so I can't say whether he'll be able to kick it, every person if different but I wouldn't hold my breath for too long.

 

My fiance's brother is a heroin addict. It's not pretty. I'd run away if I were you.

 

I think if you love someone you try helping them in anyway you can. Just because someone is addicted to drugs it doesnt take away the good things in them and the person they are. I disagrsompee completely with the "run away!! He's a junkie", it's not like he's a serial killer or something. He's just hurting himself and well ultimately only he can only help himself and no one can really convince him of not doing heroin anymore, unless he wants to. He seems to want to and I dont know maybe he just needs love and someone to care for him and help him so he can make it through the dark side. Im not saying stay with him either, only you can know what you want to do and if the whole situation is hurting you too much, well then maybe you need to distance yourself from him.

 

Maybe "running away" is the best thing that can be done to truly help him. I mean what is she really going to do to help him?
She is 19 and has everything ahead of her. What he learns by her staying is that he can continue his destructive behaviour with no REAL consequence.

 

Run away haha. Wow if only everything in life was that simple. Pffff

 

Maybe it is, maybe it's not. I just know that the whole stay away from me, you're an addict, doesnt feel right to me. Im not saying that she needs to accept his using and be like ok, cool, but just encourage him to be clean, try to show him a more healthy lifestyle, show him love and be there for him. I think it's way easier for a person to kick off an addiction when they have love in their life than when they're alone.
Though really this is something he should do for his own good and not to not hurt her or please her, because that way he'll always relapse.
It's not that it wont have any consequences. It's to give him a chance and give him time and if things never change, well you move on, but you tried you know? Being addicted to something is a problem, when people we love have a problem we try to help them fix things, right?
I know from personal experience how she feels, even though is not the exact same situation and I also know that love does help.

 

We'd be running all of our life.

 

I commend you for the compassion that you show and do for him..as for advice, I am all out..

 

Perhaps you are right. Like I said in my original post though, I just run the odds and the odds are not in her favor.

 

I think in matters like this you can only listen to your own heart, to know what's the best thing to do and maybe it's not the best thing to do from a reasonable point of view, but we all gotta do what we gotta do.
I just really dont like this kind of generalizations, I believe in love and I believe in people. Maybe Im naive and see everything colored pink, but I also see how it affects someone when they have someone who cares and believes in them. So maybe Im not that disconnected from reality.

 

Well you've watched me quit morphine abuse, which involved every opiate under the Sun including heroin. I've tried them all and depended on them all for years.
Look at me now man. Now I DRIVE the schoolbus!

 

I believe in all that too. love life etc...

 

if you want to be with him, stay with him until he gives you a reason to leave...

 

I know, that's why I said I know how she feels even though is not the exact same situation and that the whole "run for your life" it's a concept I cant grasp.
Of course it was sad and scary for me whenever I saw you take them and I always shared how I think about being dependent to drugs, but if I had been you and I was addicted to morphine and you were like "I cant handle this", I dont know. I just dont see how that's a good thing. Of course everyone's different and all situations are different. I dont know how their relationship is, how he is and how she feels. It's not like I staid with a plan or a step by step guide, I was just being me and you were being you and she has to be her and he has to be him.
Now Im just rambling, but I know you get me.