Need honest opinions on how to handle situation with my daughter's father

Background: My daughter is 8 months old, father and I are not together, broke up 9 months ago when he cheated and moved out(love him dearly but thats the dealbreaker), we have an amicable relationship, not messing around, no drama, no arguments at all. Until now.
Yesterday I took my daughter to her father's hse for the weekend (a few weeks ago he moved into a hse). I took a tour of his hse to check out where my daughter would sleep. we were on the porch talking when a chick and her son walked up. I spoke, he didn't introduce her, so i didn't knw if she was there for him or his roomie, so figured she was of no importance. I have told him b4 that I know he is going to date and to not have my daughter in bed with u and another woman. abt 20 min later, when im home she called (his phone). Saying did he tell u he had a gf and we live together. I said no. she started talking about how she felt I needed to know in case there were any probs. I said (still very calm) why r u calling me? she said he told me to. I said put him on the phone. He says he felt it had no relavance. I said who you have my child around is of relavance, I don't care what u do in your personal life but i would like to know ppl that she will be around, especially if they live there, of course I won't know every woman but I expect every woman not to meet my child either. she was yelling at him abt this, I asked where is the baby. she was right there. so i said u all are arquing in front of her. I said i don't like her in that environment im coming to get her, which i did.
now when i got over there, he came out, she did also after him. just yabbing yabbing yabbing. I said no disrespect but I need to speak with my daughter's father, I could care less about your relationship but thanks for letting me know since u felt i needed to. she kept talking and I asked her twice to excuse herself. she said u all can talk with me here. i was getting upset bc all this is unneccessary. She was making a scene. I said if and when u become mrs only then will u become a part of a conversation about our child until then u have nothing to say to me.
He went in the hse to get the carseat, him and I stood by the car and talked for a while. He is telling me to trust his judgement, which I normally do, but u can't even be truthful about who is living with you I have never even seen this woman, she is new on the scene (to my knowledge) it would be different if u have been around a while. u are more afraid I will be upset, I have told him our relationship is separate from the one u have with your daughter so even if i am upset with him, i have never taken it out on my baby and his relationship. I feel he sets the precedence on what my daughter will accept from a man, I don't want her seeing him with several women bc I don't want her to think thats okay. I don't know how to proceed. am i blowing this out of proportion? she is making a scene over something small, isn't it usually the babys mom who starts drama? I think I have handled myself very calmly but I feel very disrespected. what should i do? I feel he could have handled the situation better. he knew i was on my way, he could have told her, I need to speak with my daughters mom please stay inside. when she didn't, he should have checked that behavior. in addition, when she did come out, he still didn't introduce her, so how important is she really ( I guess thats none of my business either though).

 

Yes you handled yourself in a proper manner. furthermore, she has no right being in a relationship RIGHT away with your daughter and playing mommy.
HE should have introduced you whether friend or not .

Example;
I'm a step mom and my husbands ex- common law was just livid that i was part of their childs life. I spend ALL my money on her, and on top of that because i have no biological children she thought i would have no experience but i have 10 yrs child care experience. HAHA Pissed her off. Eventually , i know your the bio mom, you can say yes and no but from experience i in the long run would give her the benefit of the doubt.
She did call and say she was his gf and whatnot.

You don't know her , give her a chance i know its your baby your worried about , but just remmber that in the long run if your ex decides to marry shes the one who your daughter will look up to.
Absolutely no disprespct to you your only protecting your lil one but i can understand her side and your side and his.

You know working with families
I can only say
What happens at the mothers stays at the mothers
What goes on at the dads stays at the dads
But shes 8 months old it would be different if she was older, shes learning by actions taken place. My 6 month old nephew years ago started saying puck. So its better early then never
best of luck to you

 

Ur right, that is how I look at it, I just see it as kinda early to trust her. He even told me he hadn't told me yet because he wasn't sure about the relationship yet, so if your not sure, why bring the baby around this woman. In the planning of our child, this is something we talked about, the possibility of us splitting and what would happen. we both agreed, only when dating someone serious would he/she be introduced. I have nothing against her I don't know her, which is why I can't trust her. maybe after some time goes by. my baby is not old enough to say something if this woman or her son do something to her... He is a great person and father, I want him to be happy even if its not with me; Even though I am jealous of her, I don't want to come off as such. I am smart enough to know sometimes u have to love enough to let a prsn go.