I'm 14 and have been hospitalized many times for depression, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and I've even attempted suicide. I have been feeling trapped, like I just want to be free. I hate our world and I feel like most of the people in it are just so stupid. I know I shouldn't think like that but it's hard not to. I hate how my parents think I need doctors to "fix" me and give me medicine so I can "get better" and be "normal". Who says what's normal? Why do these doctors get to decide if I'm "normal" or not? I just feel like I need to meet someone who understands otherwise I might just actually go insane. Can anyone relate at all?
I mean this sincerely and in no way to belittle you. I'm wondering if your diagnosis of BPD is in relation to your age. The old cliche of the "rebellious teen" is a very accurate one. Practically everyone around your age feels restless and alienated. I could go on and on with things you've probably heard before, but the only thing you need to know is that you'll get through it because it will most likely pass. We've all been there, and it does suck. Again, I hope you don't take my words the wrong way, I'm just offering them in a helpful way. Good luck with everything.
Nah, I understand. I've had some doctors who believe that BPD is more something adults have but some say I do show strong symptoms of it. It doesn't matter much to me what my disorder is but that's just what I've been labeled. I'm sure I'll get through it but I really just needed to rant.
Again not to belittle. Your age is a tough one because you are still coming to terms with all these hormones. They add to the bad soup you may feel in your head. I've been in/out of therapy (more out than in) since I was 11. Depression is a horrible thing. I've had mania and I've had the feeling like I was so lost and lonely. It hasn't been fun. Drugs don't help. I don't know if you do any but I can tell you they add to the mix of chemical imbalance. It may seem like a great escape at first but it always comes back to bite ya. I hope you haven't gone that route. Do you have any friends nearby or close relatives that you could spend some time with? Talking is very helpful. I wish you well.
I've never done drugs in my life. They always seemed worth trying but I always find myself say no when people offer me things. I've been trying to be more social. It helps. But really, I just can't wait until I'm old enough to leave.
Yeah, it's good to be optimistic, even if it's looking forward to something ending, like a certain age you're at. I think 13 or 14 was the age I hated most, but things only got better from there. You seem like a smart girl, I think you'll be fine.
I find smiling a strange temporary solution. I too have been depressed. For two years infact. I am a recovering Depressed. Talk to somebody, anybody. Good luck
Yeah, that's called facial feedback. It's a pretty strong theory that says making the form of a smile even if you're not laughing or happy triggers your brain into thinking you're happy, even if you aren't. Think of it in the way of Pavlov's dog. Your whole life you've been conditioned to make a smile-like face when you're happy because it's biological. Because of that strong reinforcement, your brain considers being happy and the act of making a smile synonymous.
I read Ecclesiastes last night. Made me realise that everything is useless. So we must enjoy what we have now for when we get old, things get worse. Enjoy your youth. I am in my late 20's and already life is getting to the point where loneliness is making me crazy. LAst night i had a fit of madness. I was chucking laundry basket around the room, making weird noises, banging on the wall and dropping heartfelt memoirs out of my window. THey floated to the ground like leaves in Autumn. It was a bit unforeseen but I am at a loss as to why I descended into madness. Eight years of loneliness, unemployment, isolation and on top, six months in Belmarsh.
