Dating a Sex Offender

My current boyfriend is a convicted sex offender.

That is actually not what concerns me. I love him. His offense was committed consensually at the time and it has been years of treatment and punishment since then. What really concerns me is the world's view of "sex offenders."

Don't get me wrong. Rapist and the like are sick fucks and frankly I think the death penalty is suitable for particularly sick cases. But that is NOT all sex offenders. Out of respect I will not detail this particular incident, but frankly the way I see the man I'm with treated by those who know nothing of what all of this has put him threw and look down at him makes me outraged at the level of insensitivity people are capable of.

Weird subject. It just set me off.

 

i guess thats all up to you sister. If you could see who he truly is on the inside and see that he has made a change for the better and is being genuine with you then by all means may you two be happy together.

 

hmm yea I think its lame when people are convicted of being sex offenders when say they are 18 and their partner is 17 or something but yea i dunno i dont think i could date a sex offender unless it was like the situation described above

 

Well, if you live in the U.S. then the law is just fucked.

I mean in some states if you're 19 and have sex with a 17 year old you'll get 5-10 years.

Canada has a 5 age exception gap and consent is nationally 16.

So it depends, if your boyfriend was 25 and fucked a 15 year old even if its consensual I would look down on that.

But if he was in a spot like mentioned first, then yeah, he just shouldn't be called a sex offender at all.

 

It was definitely a thing that at the time could have been looked down on, but he was actually 17 at the time, and set up in a weird way. (Since none of you know me or him I can just say what happened I guess).

Pretty much long story short; he had been drinking and the 11 year old sister of his friend convinced him to let her give him a blow job that she later told her parents about and claimed she didn't want to. She did all that because he and her brother would always make fun of her for things and she wanted to get back at them.
He has been mortified over the whole situation and feels like a truly horrible person for it even though he was set up. Before I had him tell me the whole story he had always put it that he himself had antagonized something horrible, and he blamed himself for everything. Now it's 2 years later of constantly guilting himself out over the whole thing and he still has to deal with all those who don't know his situation.

Like I said, it is not as if the crime was something to look over, but he's done his time in juvenile hall and is still paying a debt to society which makes it hard for him to support himself while living on his own - the judgment of the rest of the world is undeserved.

 

that sucks, i think thats still fucked up a 17 year old gettin dome from an 11 year old even if she did set him up

i think thats bullshit that can happen, a friend of mine, her uncle was like 18 and his girlfreind was 17, they broke up and he got some charges

if i ever become a sex offender(which will happen after my skin turns green i grow a 3rd arm and shit ice cream)id blow my head off

 

whether or not he was drinking he should know not to touch an 11 y/o when hes 17 set up or not .

At the age of 12 i was molested and that was set up by a old man age 45 . i was sleeping over at a friends house and he ended up getting Frig all for it .

I wish i was old enough at the time to do something to him because it still haunts me today. Very little do i trust in people.

 

An 11 year old and a 17 year old? He shouldn't drink at all if he's made that kind of mistake and doesnt want to repeat it. An 11 year old is still a kid whether or not she was a willing participant.

 

its sick, hes out !! this should be closed because i can go on and on whats the world come to the values and morals of life situations.

 

(I guess your values arent the same as the OP-ers FrickNFrack). Unfortunately people aren't just going to think and feel how we want them to ... I suppose he's convinced her that it was nothing, and maybe he is rehabilitated. I hope he is rehabilitated.

Personally I can't feel sorry for a someone who has probably caused so much confusion and intense pain just for personal satisfaction. I dont think a man like that could be trusted in my home -ever.

I feel that is why there are so many women who put their own children at the mercy of their sex offender boyfriends ... the fear of putting them off or judging them because of the offense/s they have commited.

I don't know what other view of sex offenders the world should have. Compassion? Does that fit when they've never thought of anything but their own perverted gain.

We need to keep a close and critical eye on them - they earned it.

 

Yes a "new" guy... I've known him for 3 years though, it didn't just pop up or anything. It's been nearly 4 months as well. Not defending anything, just saying.

Anywho, all this is just what I was sort of talking about. It's extremely unfortunate because it's not as if I could blame anyone for their opinions on the subject. Like I said he isn't that sort of a person, and like I just said, I've known him for a pretty long time.

As far as the action goes there isn't any defense. But the fact is he's been punished and has been going through rehabilitation ever since then. It's a hard position to be in when you can see both sides... He's lost a lot of friends, half of his family, can't work at most places, hasn't had the chance to finish high school... I can only defend him as a person, but his action was of course a crime and wrong.

 

As strange as it might sound I'd say that was the 11 year old. Screwed up, I know.

I personally had an experience in which I was forced to do something I didn't want to. What he described was closer to my experience than that of the person who acted upon me. Believe me, if someone were to take his action as a serious fault in him as a person, it would be me.

Again, I can't expect anyone to believe or understand anything I say in full, but I just don't want to bring this up with people who might spread it all over my own area.

 

Well, if he's done his time and you trust him then I wish you both good luck. It's good that you're not actually defending his previous action and that you're pretty clear on that.

Peace,

Musikero

 

Not that I am for this thread or any idea of it but frankly your reason to close this is the most self indulgent lame ass excuse a person could close it for.

 

I cant see how a 17yo dude could even while drunk unless passed out could ignore the fact a person 11yo was trying to commit sex acts with them and dont understand for a moment why he would have allowed that but I also dont believe in making a person pay twice so I guess if they served the time and jumped like a little circus poodle through the hoops, disclosed to you what they did and you still accept them then so be it! JUst dont let the guy drink and run a day care I guess.

 

That's pretty damn sick if you ask me. 11 years old?

Run, don't walk, away from this dude. He's trouble.

 

My sentiments exactly.

 

well said Yank!

 

Bullshit. You can't tell her to leave the guy without knowing him. She knows him a lot better than you do, and judges that he's not a threat. How can you argue with that?