hola, everybody i know is in and out of a relationships. I have had my share but lately (few years) i havent dated. Im very opinionated and i know what i want in life and what i dont. I need a strong woman who is in control of her own.. ya know? i hate giving life advice to someone in a relationship because i never want to feel too opinionated to where i come off as controling. some people tell me i deserve the best. I feel the same way but yet im single do i have too high of standards? maybe i still have faith that there is "the one" what do ya'll think? many great minds are better than one
I think if someone has too many standards that the possiblity of them finding their perfect someone is slim to none...but I could be wrong.. I dont have standards really. If I meet someone and they are wonderful, but they hate beer, am I suppose to never talk to them again just cause of that, no way. I mean you cant have someone exactly like you and what you want. It would clash I think. I mean they can have qualities that you like, but not all of them. If you search for your perfect someone, you'll pass so much up. This probably makes absolutely no sense at all, but I thought I would give it a shot sorry if it confusing which it probably is
Thank you! not as pickey as you are thinking but all i know is the good ones are taken and when they do break up with there boyfriend there is another guy already lined up...must have been hitting on the girl while she was still dating and im not like that ill respect the situation and keep my feelings to myself..
Yeah, sometimes I am confusing and its hard to understand what I am saying But its not bad to have standards though, it just depends on what type and how many you have..cause then i feel that you will pass soo much up, ya know..Not all the good ones are takin, you'd be surprised..Just dont narrow your search cause of your standards, cause again, ya might miss out..
I say why settle for the Corvette, when you could have the Porshe...sometimes it's good to be picky. But in a honesty look for personality. Looks fade, then what. Personality is forever...
i understand you, im trying not to miss out on things but its hard. many girls have built a wall up because of shitheads in the past. Im not one of those guys! why does it have to be me going after them? im sick of that. i worked really hard on my previous relationships. it sounds simple but my standards are honesty and loyalty. and too bad that is hard to come by these days. they can be compleatly diff. from me, i like to learn new things and pass what i know to make us both better threw experiance. I would just like a chick to tackle the world with me with out second guessing her. because i have trust and loyalty Personality is what im looking for ive been there done that thanks guys i love hipforums its a good place to check yourself with good people!!
wow..Id have to say that you guys seem to have the perfect grip on what you should be like going into a relationship!! Standards are important..for the most part..like Im a Christian, so I aint gonna go for an athiest, but to pass someone over simply cuz they dont have a certain hair color or boob size or something..thats dumb. I think a lot of those bad relationships people get themselves into these days is cuz they have let their standards go to low. People want someone to cling to soo badly that they let go of the thing they should really be clinging to: who they are. I want to be in a relationship again..itsb een awhile and i really do desire one..but im not gonna go out with the first guy that fancies me just cuz he likes me and I think hes cute. theres gotta be more. I guess I takem y relationships a lil seriously..no that I dont like having fun..i LOVe having fun..but id rather so so with one good guy insteado f 10 bado nes.
no, I dont agree with that, I dont think that has to do with standards... And I dont care for christians but I would still date one, if we connected and such.. I am just saying that its never good to have sooo many standards..what I am talking about are really high standards and a lot of them..
Jeph, the standards you listed (as I understand them) are too important to compromise. Dating someone who is not on the same level as you in terms of power relations (if you wanted to be dominant, a submissive girl would be great, but damn you for wanting an equal ) is absolutely essential to a lasting relationship. Trust me, I've been thru my share of stupid whatevers with guys who either wanted to control me or were too weak to keep up -- I want an equal, not a domineering bastard or a little puppy. She's out there, somewhere, you'll find her one of these days. As for the ones who have another guy lined up waiting for her to end a relationship, that's crap too. Unless you're just looking for a fling, you don't deserve to be Mr. Rebound & you sure as hell don't want to get involved with a woman who, when things get rough, will just go find someone new instead of working on her current relationship. Unless you're focused on superficial traits & inconsequential differences, I don't believe you can have too high of standards. But, then, maybe I'm just lucky -- I found someone who lives up to my standards, I didn't have to compromise on my demand for someone who is honest, loyal, & my equal. In several regards, he is nothing like the "Mr. Perfect" I would have described before we got together, but he is better than that fantasy person because he is real & he lives up to the standards that matter.
i think people attract what they put out, so you can have as high of standards as you want, it all depends on you whether or not you get what you want though.
I have a hard time believing that I'm going to find loyalty in anyone that has had previous relationships , simple because if they were really honestly loyal they would have stayed with their first relationship and not taken some sissy way out.
OK, so 2 questions... 1. How do you know s/he took "some sissy way out"? When the other person walks away from you, there is only so much you can try before it just becomes scary psycho stalking, which stems from some issue other than loyalty. 2. How extreme does this loyalty need to be? I expect someone who is loyal for as long as there is any chance we can make the relationship work, but there has to be a point where you realize that holding on will make neither of you happy. As long as we have any hope of salvaging the relationship, I expect my partner to focus on us, not be out looking for a back-up girlfriend to turn to if we split. He sure as hell better never cheat on me. And, of course, those are things I would never consider doing, either. OK, so I lied, I have a third question... How do you know that person hasn't done some serious growing-up since the last failed relationship? Yeah, there's that "once a cheater always a cheater" thing, but people do make mistakes, realize the mistake, & grow from it. I'm not suggesting you give a former cheater a chance, but there is some grey area in there -- maybe he regrets giving up so easily on his previous relationship & really really wants something to last now.
yep... looking for ms.perfect won't stop till i find her. I have faith in the fantasy life so if your her say hello
the problem is not your standards, just give it time. I used to think that my standards were too high or that I was possibly smelly and repulsive, but I realized that love takes time to find you, and that's really ok, life is all about paitence when you get down to it (well, and a couple other things..). I'd say look for love in other aspects of your life, I'm really lucky and just found a job that I fell in love with, and amazing friends really help. Oh, and don't go jumping into the first relationship that comes along, BAD idea, I think someone already saud that but it can't be said too much! you'll find her Jeph, you're far too kind a guy not to
