I feel like I don't want to grow up to become the archetypal family man, filled to the brim with problems from kids, financial problems, and all of the never ending nagging from the spouse. I feel like it would just be easier to live life single. That's not to say I can't be social, have friends, and meet with family, but stay single cause I enjoy that lifestyle a lot more, less stress, more living. What do you think about my outlook? Coming from a college student this may sound kind of naive, but I feel like I don't want to be like everyone around.
Ya bro I know how you feel. I actually DO want a family and all that shit but I know how it's going to end up being. It's a real hard choice... for me at least.
The other week I went to my fiance's great aunt's 100th birthday party. She told me her secret to such a long life is that she never got married, never had children, and thus (apparently) never had any stress or major problems. So yea.. if you want to live stress-free forever, stay away from marriage and kids.
If I could go back with the knowledge I have now I'd do things a whole lot differently and marriage would most definitely be off my list.
You cant plan these things. You dont know who youll meet, how your feelings will change (or not change) where youll go, where youll end up, WHO youll end up as...Just go with it, dont rule anything out totally, and only live to your own standards. It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks of how you choose to live. If it feels right deep inside and makes you happy then so be it. I didnt think id be married or having kids but here i am happier than ever
Some people just aren't the type for a wife and a family but that doesn't mean you won't change your mind someday.
agreed. And don't let people who have a wife and kids tell you you're missing out on anything. Us married with children ppl are missing out on just as much, they're just different things. Little kids are nightmares no matter what, but once they grow into adolescence you have more control over how difficult they can be. Imposing culturally inherited values onto the kids is absurd. Many of us have our wayward, countercultural experiences then have kids and treat everything before that as youthful indiscretions and feel it's time to put it away and grow up, which is total horseshit and is why there is little cultural progression these days. The parental attitude of not having any value-expectations gets criticized saying the kids end up being without direction and debauched. I think this is only the case because along with not having expectations, most parents don't give all possible options and just let the kid find his own way. My approach is to not have expectations, but to show the kids everything I can; to give all possible options instead of no particular options. That way the kid knows you still care and you can let them actualize themselves. bit of a rant, sorry. just don't feel like you're missing anything. being human is excellent enough.
Nothing wrong with it. Marriage isn't all wine and roses, children aren't always laughing and happy and some people aren't cut out for a "traditional" (I use that word loosely) married lifestyle. Be who you want to be. Like yourself for who you are, not what others think you should be.
I dodged the marriage bullet... I had been living with a girl for a few years and I knew she wanted kids and a real marriage and everything. I really wanted to please her, but I knew I didn't want to be "tied down". I left, in a less dignified way than I would've liked, and though what followed were a really rough couple of years, I know I made the right choice. As of now I can't see myself married with kids, but perhaps my mind will change someday. I'm not saying it's "bad", it's just that both people have to be really, really sure that's what they want. A situation like mine, (putting my goals on the back burner to please my partner) is destined for implosion.
