I dont know if Im still in love or still just looking for acceptance. I know Im young but I watchd the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Endless mind and after the movie I cried so hard I think I made my nose bleed. And then I cried in my bathroom, then I yelled outside really loud, and then layed on the couch and tears fell down my cheeks. I feel like Im still in love with this guy I went out with because he tried really hard to understand why I was leaving him, and I even told him after a long time of suffering that i didnt love him. Which is true. (Yes, its true) But I feel like I would do anything to just have that human understanding and empathy again. To do random things and have fun, and I was so worried he was out to hurt me and well its over know. Why am I so broken hearted damnit! IM SO LONELY On the bus today I felt like I wanted to just fall in love with a complete stranger, at least make eye contact and smile. It was pathetic. Im usually in a relationship loving someone. Whatever I hate california.
^ Heh, that's not abnormal at all. I have the same feelings, mostly because someone who I loved deeply and considered my best friend has recently left me. Feels like I lost a big part of myself, and I lost my best friend. It was a double blow. Heartbreak is a terrible feeling. ='( Your situation is strange though. If you didn't love him then why feel that way? Feel like you need to have someone close? That's how I feel and it's awful when you don't....
Heh. It's true. But I realized how he was the only person I was even remotely close to. So it's pretty hard to have fun anymore because I have to do everything alone. Me and my friends don't have that much in common.
