feel free to comment, in fact, please do... i would like to make it a bit longer, and polish some of it up a bit... i'll be the first to say that i don't know much about the structural and grammatical aspects of poetry, but i love to write. most things i write end up being a jumbled stream of conciousness type of thing, so I'd like some feedback as to how i may improve. thanks in advance! enjoy I long for you to come, constant as the rain and ease this brittle, barren landscape. I long for your voice, soothing to me as the distant thunder and the bright, white bliss of your unchainable smile dancing ever so gracefully among the unbounding heavens, in branches of light splashing across the curving canvas in perfect unreproducable entropy It seems shameful, my effort, to use the prison of language and the confinement bound to the shackles of concous thought to begin to explain why I am writing this about you to myslef but all I have now are silly words and rambling thoughts stiffling pain, and few places left to flee from feeling and this crumbling being I call myself, because still you are gone And certain, there shall be no reprise I will never again find myself in your storm's eye, in that uninhibited moment in which I tasted infinity by your maternal caress... and you told me without speaking or knowing that all is right and well in the universe and despite the sorrow and confusion I perhaps brought upon myself, the bottles I forged and stuffed with desperate cries for help and thrown into the cyclical ocean of emptiness and despair that I believed my soul to be, It was you who cast away meaninglessness as a decietful facade, But still, now you are gone and as I tread my shriveled roots upon this arid plain, I still search for you in everything and I pray for it to rain
