i take bong hits every fucking day at lunch break and now im practically failing all my afternoon classes except english because i happen to be ok at that. I tried X last weekend and it brought me into such a heavenly state that all I think about is when im gonna do it again (this friday). I really don't wanna start taking X a lot but drugs are like a vacuum that seem to suck all the boredom out of my dreary, boring life. I also have, you been smoking about 2 or 3 cigs a day. this isn't such a big amount but everything esculates, you know? anyway, i don't care about physical consequences so i dont wanna be bitched at about that, im just starting to worry that feeling good is gonna catch up with me in the end. like what if i get expelled for toking at lunch? what if i get busted with X? what if my hatred of school work causes me to stay back another grade? i just fucking hate all this stress that the western work ethic dumps on it's youth is making me pissed off. I'm so damn pissed, I wanna drop out of school and coast through life in a drug induced state and amount to nothing more than one fucking happy slacker.
Perhaps you ought to be happy about western work ethic ... eastern work ethic tends to be higher. Western-worlders are known for their general laziness, after all. Either way, perhaps this suggestion will help: While smoking cigarettes is fine (assuming you're alright with the lung damage and prospect of cancer ...) and smoking marijuana won't do much harm, try only to do your drugs while you're actually bored. Everyone hates being bored, and drugs are great for those times where you just want to say, "I am SO bored right now," but if you're in school and are just falling asleep, just try to do something else. I find it easy to draw pictures (everything from stick figure battles to manga-style art), or to think about other things; and every now and again, just pop your head up to listen to the teacher and what he/she's saying for a couple of seconds, at the least. More often than not, you can get interested in the material (at least marginally) and you'll have a better background for homework and tests. Try taking just one or two hits off some weed before you start your homework; it makes it a lot less boring, but since it's only a couple of hits, it won't affect your mind much. =) Besides, better to do homework high and do bad than to be so bored you don't do your homework at all, right?
okay, with doing any substance... whether it be "x" - mdma (prolly not pure tho), or pot and ganja...or anything else... you need to have a sort of control. use these things to enhance your life, to give you spiritual guidance and to show you things and teach you... do not allow them to over-come you. that leads to addiction. and even if it is not physical, it is mental and it gives much bad rep. to these things that can HELP. this might be over your head (not saying it IS), but please remember that and use responsibly.
maybe its bad advice but everyone has to make their own philosophy for life. from what i've seen a lot of angst and frustration in modern society stems from the fact to live we consume so much and yet in return we produce so little. We leave trails of waste behind us, from toilet paper to hamburger wrappers to cigarettes buds. The only remedy I've found is to make things whether art, books, songs, stick figures. there is an outlet that matches you and you have to find it. your problem sound like it can consume a large chuck of your life. I've know a many good people get kicked out of school for trivial shit like pot and all the ones I've met eventually want to get back on their feet. One guy is having a really hard because he smoked during his pre-teens almost constantly and so went through all the normal parts of life high (rejection, homework, tests, love,) and now has hard time adjusting off the bud. Moderation is a ideal we all need to keep with us. A little bit of everything surpasses a lot of anything. also remember pain and trials make us so much stronger wiser people, and don't always dull the tedious and painful parts of life by hiding or using drugs or else you might never grow up. I only talk so much because I'm worried and I feel like you're one out of ten young adults.
i was doing pretty much the exact same thing. then i hit rock bottom. i had no job, no motivation, couldnt concentrate, kept getting myself in dangerous situations... all i wanted to do was get wrecked... and be lazy while wrecked. i was smoking like 20+ cones a day and just watching dvds. eventually... i got so low i had a little epiphonie. now i have a job, i am motivated to go to university next year... and all sorts of things. i still have urges to just fuck it all off and just sit at home smoking weed all day ^_^
I wonder how he turned out. It would be really cool to have the ability to be able to find out stuff like that, you know. ...because the post was from 2004. Serious about that first bit, though.
