Meeting Individuals who are into the group scene...

Long time lurker, first time poster. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for several years and, during the course of the relationship we both discovered that we were into group scenarios. Now, (for completely unrelated reasons) we've been broken up for nearly a year. I'd like to continue exploring this interest in future relationships.

So, my question is, how can I discreetly gauge a woman's interest in such things when dating? It's not the sort of thing you can just bring up over dinner, after all.


Added level of difficulty: I'm also a career military member, so discretion is key.

 

my advice is, drop out of the military. :tongue:

 

Why?

 

First I must say that the statement made by one of the people responding to your post, telling you to drop out of the military, was totally uncalled for and stupid. In my eyes this person has no credibility whatsoever and has absolutely no respect from me.

Now, to your question.

I think after you have dated a woman, you can casually bring it up during a conversation. Ask her thoughts on group sex, or swinging. You should be able to judge from her response, if she would be open to it or not.

Good luck, and thank you for serving our country and protecting all of our rights.

 

i'm crushed.

 

Thanks for the support Joe, I mean that. I knew when I mentioned my profession on this forum it would get some attention.

I also appreciate your advice. I'll be sure to put it to good use when I get back to the States.

 

I feel Lady Of The Freaks showed intelligence, compassion and common sense in her suggestion. Perhaps she recognizes that we have almost no defense spending in our country, but massive military aggression and domination spending... and that soldiers are used as meaningless pawns in the quest for domination and war profiteering, victims of the most corrupt system on the planet. She perhaps sees all this, and made a quick suggestion based on it. I fully support her.

 

actually, yes. members of the military are used, abused and put out on the street every day. and they are suckered into doing something grossly immoral as well. once they finally realize it - it's too late. i've known many ex-military people over the years who have to live for the rest of their lives knowing what they've been a part of. it's a horrible thing that's being done to these people. and it's a horrible thing they do. we should put a stop to it.

 

There's no reason you can't just casually bring it up over dinner. Of course it may not be met with a big "yes please". My finace first brought up the idea of swinging durring sex about 2 weeks into our relationship. We've actually had some experience now and it's working out well for us. Now that may not be the case for everyone, but the best policy is always honesty and getting stuff like that out sooner rather than later. I mean what if you fell head over heals for someone and were ready to marry them and then brought it up and they freaked out?

 

You feel wrong. LOTF's comment was a snide attempt at cleverness that fell far short. Also, I might mention, it was completely off-topic. If you want to create or contribute an anti-military thread on here, go ahead. But I'm not interested in vocational advice.

That said, thanks for the actual discussion from the rest of you.

 

not at all. it wasn't snide and it wasn't an attempt at cleverness. i really think all military personnel should drop out for the reasons explained above. until they do that, i really can't see advising them on dating and such. i'm tired of watching them decimate one country after another. i want it to stop.

 

So while your fighting right now you get the internet so you can go on your hippy forums? Do they let you smoke dope over there. Because living up here in Canada I've felt as though joining the military as a future career might be pretty cool. We don't get called into alot of wars and the government will pay all spenses on college or university for me in return to just spend 6 months in afganistan which alot of our soilders have been killed over there for quite some time. Should Canada stay in Afganistan?

 

Good for you... take it to a thread that cares. This is about Free Love and group encounters, not a debate on the military, and you obviously can see advising me on something, or you wouldn't have felt the need to post.

That said, I've started a thread to continue that portion of this discussion in another forum: http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=315941:gnorsi:

Teash, I responded to your post there.

 

besides talking to a girl are there any other ways to know like type of dress or perhaps a tattoo of some sort?

 

lol did you seriously ask that? I mean maybe if she has "DP" tattooed on her face...then i'd say she's interested

 

lol
I just joking

of course i will never look at dolly parton the same again.

 

you voted for bush didn't you...

 

but on to the question - have we had a verdict? Did you ask her? In my experience most girls find it an arousing thought, but wouldn't go through with it.

What do you girls think? Yes/No... ??

 

Well the last date I went on before I deployed, I brought it up in a sideways, ninja-kind-of-way, and she said that she didn't understand it. Her reasoning was that if you (me) wanted to be with her, then why would you want to have sex with someone else?

Of course, she later shared a story about almost being date raped and how long it had taken her to get over that, so she might just have some trust issues stemming from a traumatic experience. (Which is understandable, I suppose.)

 

It takes all kinds, I think, and the only way to find out is to ask her, respectfully, but honestly. I don't know, but I imagine a lot of girls would be curious and interested.