Needy people

Invasive body language, hyperbole, long-winded communication patterns, sentimentality, excessive eye-contact, plaintiff whinyness, meddling in other people's business, repetitious inquiry, judgemental introversion...

What else? Can you guys think of other characteristics?

I was just studying my father the last few days. All of the above are present. The sad thing about needy people is that they are unable to realize what they do.

Of course, because that would require autonomous self-awareness.

It's sad, but the only way I find to deal with needy people who are nevertheless important in my life is to set limits in interaction.

Which is to say, hurt 'em.

 

Hmmm...Is needy the same as high maintenance ?

 

gushing. fishing for compliments (i.e. putting themselves down). making themselves constantly available for your attention (i.e. when you get together, they always mold themselves to your schedule). wishy washy (change their opinion if you disagree with them). i could go on and on...

it's sad. just means they really dislike themselves. don't see the beauty that lies within. which makes them really difficult to be around, which i think is their subconscious way of supporting their own horrendous self-image.

 

Oh, yeah.

Constant self-deprecation, sure!

Being available at all times.

Yep. Sad.

Janja: Even though high-maintenance tends to be associated with arrogance, which is face-value the opposite of neediness. I think they stem from the same problem.

Like, people who have to look perfect at all times...sheer insecurity. Compensation.

 

high maintenance can sometimes just be that people are very particular. afraid of the unknown, therefore reluctant to try something (anything) new, and want everyone else to fit into their world-view so they don't have to expand anything. i think that's more a fear of growth and change than a low self-image thing. but i guess it depends on the situation.

 

I meant more like people who say:

Do this for me. Or do that for me. Because I'm diva so-and-so. And I'm smart and I'm pretty, etc.

THAT kind of high-maintenance.

That's certainly a NEED for validation. Even though it appears to be self-assurance.

 

High-maintenance definitely means insecurity, not arrogance or snobbery or whatnot.
Some people just need constant reassurement.
Same with jelaousy....insecurity.

 

lol... you mean like cate? sorry... i didn't mean that in a mean way... cause cate i actually really like you. i just find it really amusing... the diva who knows she's a diva and loves it. sorry, i'm derailing...

 

Quite the psychologist, arent' you?

Janja: Yep. Arrogant people too. Neediness in disguise.

 

"I was just studying my father the last few days. All of the above are present. The sad thing about needy people is that they are unable to realize what they do."

Needy people are a pain, BUT I think it's even more sad for someone to "study" someone's shortcommings and then post about them. Maybe if you looked deeper you'd find a different base issue. Are you a shrink? Doesn't sound like it.

 

we're just talking.... and sometimes understanding someone's psychological things help me find more compassion for people who are difficult for me to be around.

and yes, i enjoy psychology a bit. it's interesting. i love studying people. i learn about myself that way. and my comment about cate... well, it's simply that i find her truly charming. because she is high maintenance in such a down to earth kind of way. which is an oxymoron, but you know... she's just unique and it's really cool.

 

Quite the judgemental "hippie" aren't ya'? I find needy people to be annoying as well, but they are a part of society. You don't need to be around them if they are annoy. Live and let live.

 

you summed it up, praxis.
reminds me of a certain someone I know, haha.

 

I agree.

I'm conflicted about this thread.

But it really doesn't have to do with my father as much as me as his son. My own disguised neediness and how different it is from his.

Maybe this thread is needy. :biggrin:

 

Sounds like a diplaced issue. We are all needy at different times. Here's a hug.......for those needy times.

 

I have an idea whom that might be. :biggrin:

We'll keep it under wraps.

Naked: I don't think Cate is high-maintenance at all, actually. Just good-looking. Which is the way to go.

 

Im a diva now? Fascinating.

 

your assumption is probably correct. but yeah, lets keep it under wraps or this thread could get really scandalous.

 

Well, it's also that I had to deal with my dad for 3 days in a row and it took a lot of energy out of me. As much as I love him.

I guess I'm using this thread to process it. But perhaps I should have kept it in general terms.

Cheers. :cheers2:

P.S. My neediness tends to be more of the attention-getting, arrogant kind. I'm working on it.

 

ok... since apparently most of my comments on this thread have been taken way the wrong way, i'm gonna just butt out, and say sorry. none of what i've been saying was meant in any way to be judgmental, and when i speak about certain "types" and neediness, etc. i am not only looking at people in society, but at myself. at where we as a society have gone TOGETHER. and thinking, wow, wouldn't it be great if we could all start feeling better about ourselves!!!

guysmiley, i am not judging others by noticing trends. i hold no jugment on those trends, i'm just noticing them. maybe i came across wrong, and for that, i truly am appologetic. sometimes my banter and my deep thought process mingle and don't come across well.

agh... i give up... i'm not making any sense today, so i'm just gonna go.