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two short poems

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by teh-horace, Jul 8, 2008.

  1. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    both of which were scribbled down on tiny pieces of paper:


    revelation

    i've kept myself clean
    for so long i've forgotten
    how dirty my nails can get, after i celebrate
    Mardi Gras
    two weeks late.

    -mar 18 oh eight


    untitled no. 11

    you're like the asymptote
    to my frowning parabola;
    i can graph out the approach
    but i'll just never reach you.

    -feb 28 oh eight



    -rdw
     
    teh-horace, Jul 8, 2008
    #1
  3. skyfire

    skyfire Member

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    I'm surprised no one has commented on these...i liked them. the second one is very clever, i like that both form and content are compact yet infinate (if that makes sense). i liked the image being introduced in the first half of the first poem, but then i didnt really think it went anywhere. it could definitely be expanded...
     
    skyfire, Jul 19, 2008
    #2
  5. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    i appreciate your comments

    they're mostly little mind dumps, fleeting images i wrote down on scraps of paper

    like this one:

    exhibit scribble a

    the chaos from the tv
    in the other room
    begets monotony
    throughout the house.

    -horace july 14/08
     
    teh-horace, Jul 19, 2008
    #3
  7. Nick Scratch

    Nick Scratch Member

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    Yeah, that second one is great little bit of wordplay. Cheers
     
    Nick Scratch, Jul 20, 2008
    #4
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