you know your a stoner when...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by newcarscent7, Jul 18, 2008.

  1. newcarscent7

    newcarscent7 Member

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    :sifone:YOU KNOW YOU'RE A STONER WHEN.....

    --Every story you tell begins with, "We were really high and..."
    --You buy your Visine at a wholesale club
    --You're a Bob Marley fan and you don't even like reggae
    --Someone asks you for a dime and you tell them you're out of herb
    --The High Times centerfold turns you on
    --Every vacation you wind up in Amsterdam or Jamaica
    --Your friends call you Smokey
    --Your parents call you Smokey
    --Smoking resi on a daily basis is essential to keep your bowl from getting clogged
    --Your cigarette gets way too heavy
    --You think everyone is staring at you and there's nobody in the room
    --All you want to do is drink & smoke & eat & smoke & chill & smoke...
    --Your room turns into your grow room
    --The lab technician testing your urine sample gets high off the fumes
    --Your best friend just happens to be your dealer
    --You vote Harry Browne for president
    --A friend without weed is a friend in need
    --Your bumper sticker reads "Honk for Hemp"
    --Someone finds a roach in your room, it's not a bad thing
    --Your bong becomes an extension of your arm
    --You went to a Hempfest
    --You can't remember the Hempfest
    --Your video collection consists of endless Cheech and Chong sequels
    --Your too phoned to stone home
    --Your creativity is only used when you have nothing to smoke out of
    --You can ask for weed in other languages
    --The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but you don't mind being wasted
    --Sorting out life's problems, the answer is always roll, lick and smoke
    --You want to have kids named Herb, Bud and MaryJane
    --You were born caucasion but all your friends assume you're Chinese
    --Your clothes are full of burnholes from dropped joints
    --You learn about the KGB in history class and all you can think about are green sticky buds
    --If an autobiography of your life was made into a movie, it would be called "Waiting to Inhale"
    --You own too many pairs of Birkenstocks
    --Breakfast consists of a spliff, some OJ, and a bowl packed with Fruity Pebbles
    --You smoke your screens and save your roaches
    --You clean out your car and smoke the shake you found on your car mats
    --You forget your friends' names
    --You forget your own name
    --Your motto in life is Why ask Why? Just Get High
    --You call people you don't even like to hang out, just because you know they've got buds
    --You roll your blunts fatter than your 40oz
    --You begin hearing knocks at the door and CD skips that aren't there
    --You find yourself in the kitchen eating everything but Spam...then you eat the Spam


    AND THE FINAL REASON YOU KNOW YOU'RE A STONER...
    When you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

    :sifone:
     
  2. baloon

    baloon Member

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    lol that was pretty funny
     
  3. SashaK

    SashaK Tangerine Skies

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    Your creativity is only used when you have nothing to smoke out of.

    hahaha it was the apple last night
     
  4. captainanarchy

    captainanarchy not now, not eva'

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    "Your cigarette gets way too heavy"

    Dude that's so true! It happened the other night! haha
     
  5. t0ker

    t0ker Member

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    hahah i love it i always eat food i dont like because fuckckkkckkkk i got to eat something damn it.
     
  6. Xora

    Xora Member

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    When you find a roach in your pocket and wonder "when did I put pants on?"
     
  7. PL2584

    PL2584 Member

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    lol good shit.
     
  8. Simon5

    Simon5 Member

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    lol "Why ask Why? Just Get High"
     
  9. EatTehPie

    EatTehPie Member

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    You know your a stoner when you eat lunch, have a joint... then eat breakfast.
     
  10. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    --Your too phoned to stone home

    haha i had to read this like five times to figure out what was wrong with it, and im not even high.
     
  11. LSDMIKE

    LSDMIKE Member

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    hehe But did you get it? That's what you would say to your mate if you
    had to call home but you got high 1st..:D
     
  12. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    lol yes i got it. im not that brain dead.
     
  13. floes

    floes Senior Member

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    you know your a stoner when you laugh at all of those.
     
  14. LSDMIKE

    LSDMIKE Member

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    Yer i got what you said. sorry but sometimes i can be a bit slow :eek:
    You just made a joke..hehehhehehehe ....Man i'm slow :cheers2:
     
  15. Nero_Designs

    Nero_Designs Inhaled Dreams

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    you know you're a stoner when you wait for the stop-sign to turn green.
     
  16. Nero_Designs

    Nero_Designs Inhaled Dreams

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    (from the joke:
    what's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?
    the drunk runs the stop-sign,
    the stoner waits for it to turn green)
     

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