It sucks though. Well, I broke up with this guy and I figured out that after dating so many guys, I noticed how much I really loved him. and he says it wasnt meant to be and he's moved on.. and I feel so alone now, because you know when you love someone... and their gone.
Like Zorba, feel free to PM me if you ever get too down or need someone to talk too. Please, don't feel bad. Just know that if it didn't work out between you two, you can do better.
Its weird but you know there are billions of people in this world, but when I'm sitting alone, I just don't know if there is people out there that care anymore. Whatever, I fucking pity myself. I don't think ill find someone like me or for me because he was so great... Or maybe I just tend to drown in my own loneliness and isolation for too long. (awkward silence) Ive felt like crap lately and I hate it, I dont want to resort to drugs to make me feel better, or self destruction.. I just want love. Is that so much to ask for. Yes, yes it is.
I can't tell you it'll be alright, because it won't mean anything. But I hope things turn out okay for you.
all will be good when you get to canada!!! oh wait im in canada and im lonely too...hurry up! really though i "know" how you feel about the lost love...regret can be torture...then in comes jealousy...ya...i just want love as well...and to not feel anxious again and be able to genuinely relax! Is that so much to ask for. Yes, yes it is. try not to dwell TOO MUCH (obviously easier said than done especially when you dont really feel like you belong anywhere and spend a good portion of your time contemplating life) and if youre nice to me maybe we can be friends and ill make you laugh laugh laugh it would help me as much if not more so than you i warn you though im very funny!
Yeah just wanna git outta this dump supposedly called the golden state. ahahhaha >:[ Lost love, regret, now I make fun of his girlfriend cause she's quite an ugly little thing.. Yeah I hate just being anxious and all like "Dude, im single.......... and all the guys here are lame..." Yeah, today I basically layed in my bed, sat outside, layed on the couch, sat on the ground, then did some standing, im not motivated to do anything its like... blaaah make me laugh. my brother showed me this and I started laughing lol http://niggastolepeeweebike.ytmnd.com/ oh so your funny? Well Im funny too as a matter of fact.
most definitely. for some reason I feel motivated to go abuse myself with substances and yell at some cholas for sucking. yeah standing was a blast. whatever, I cant wait for school so i can get away from my parents. haha peewee is my one and only god.
lol definitely.. define -itly. well im a good speller, but i cant spell wierd and thier right. Atleast i dun tipe lik dis. go for it. I vented my anger by dancing real hard.
Love is like todays crack in our society. It's packaged and sold like any other "commodity" that you supposedly can't do without. (Hence jewelry, rings, etc...) I mean one is told that they should express their love through material things. If you love someone then you should buy them things....That's a bunch of bullshit, and I know many people don't subscribe to that, but regardless of whether or not they claim they don't, the majority of people buy into it. Don't get me wrong, I think love is a very powerful thing and is amazingly beautiful when it is pure. It's just that perhaps sometimes we don't need "it" as much as we tell ourselves we do. So long as we love ourself (In a non-vain way) and respect others (due to our universal love) one doesn't really need the love of another specific individual. I'm not saying it is something not worth seeking or partaking in (relationships are a great thing, so long as they are truly positive and for richeous reasons), it's just that people become far to dependent on them for their own good. It can't be right to make fun of his new girlfriend though, especially because of her looks. Looks can be deceiving, and even if they aren't who are we to hate on someone for something they can barely choose (I say barely, because one can eat healthy and exercise). What part of Cal are you from? I live in Oregon and for a State (not a big fan of the U.S. in general) it's pretty chillax. You should check out Eugene sometime, many consider it to be the most "chill" city on the west coast. I myself can't wait to leave and hit the road again (just healing up a second ACL surgery). I'm nomadic by nature and traveling with my trusty ol' guitar is real living to me.
Yeah your right, Love is kind of an innocent drug looked for amongst those who feel aloneness and lonely in a harsh reality. It is the pure feeling of happinees and celebration of another indivual, and thats all that I ask for. Yeah I know im not prefect, but Im just a lover who yearns to be loved. Material things? Actually, I dont like it when a guy gives me a teddy bear, or roses. Its like, "Hey, instead of giving me things, give me something worth having, expression, hold my hand, look into my eyes and tell me your dreams, show me your smile.. I dont want a fucking teddy bear." I know, acutally i dont really make fun of her.. Im just kind of jelous and a little happy for her.. Im not brewing a couldron of hate.. More of regret.. and sorrow, you realize how beautiful things really are when they are gone. I use to live in Vista, but now im escondido. Its pretty ghetto.. Eugene? Ive never heard of it. Wow thats cool, I always respected nomads. Sounds cool that you can just go anywhere you want.
That's really respectable that at your age you are over material things, or so it would seem? I remember that by the time I was your age (little over 2 years ago I think) I had learnt to appreciate the simple things in life, but I contribute that mainly to the fact that my family was pretty poor back in the day. Our world is really fucked up in many ways, so it's always comforting to know that there's others out there who share somewhat similar views and a common hope that love for oneself and fellow humans will overcome the many arrogant and ignorant that feel we are just a bunch of "scum" so to say. When you are trekking you really get a deeper view into people just in the way they look at/approach you. It makes thing very sad sometimes, yet the newfound beauty and appreciation one gains for nature and others is well worth it. Have you ever heard of the country fair? It's like 20 minutes outside of Eugene. It's like a massive gathering in a forest, all kinds of interesting peoples come to partake in what truly is "love".
I am so glad to hear that you guys are over material shit. I remember I always used to think that I'd love to have a shitload of money. But just recently I realized that, at this point, if someone was to give me, say a million dollars right now, I'd have no idea what to do with it. There's nothing I want. I'm happy with the people in my life, so I don't need or want anything. I'd probably just spend it on them anyway. It's great to feel this way.
And in regards to you feeling shitty, there's something I've learnt thus far in life. That is the fact that when a problem (or lack there of, it could simply be a bad feeling) arises there are two things that can be done. One can either fix it for the better and change whatever it is that is bothering them, perhaps even turning the negative into a positive (the realization that something is taken for granted). Or not do anything at all and come to grips with it, otherwise known as simply accepting that whatever "it" is will remain the same. In your case if you are feeling lonely or not accepted, just remember that you hold the power to change the situation or do nothing. Just as Marcus Aurelius states over and over again in his "Meditations" (really entitled "To Myself"), "A mans worth can never surpass that of his ambition."
