getting high can lead to good things

I am living proof. Today I got up and was at work by 8 with my coffee in hand. I worked and then went to have lunch with my faajjja and toke a little before I went back to work. After work I went home and grabbed my laptop, camera, and weed and took it all out on the roof. There I listened to music, got high, and tried in vain to catch a couple of good pictures of the fireworks. After getting high I decided to make pasta salad to cure my munchies. After taking the time to do that I realized how little sleep I was gonna get and thought about my morning coffee routine. Vitamins and coffee are my savior for these 45 hr work weeks. Shit, all of my 3 travel mugs were left at work. Typical forgetfulness, side effect mj So I called my mom to see if she had any coffee mugs for the taking. She said yes so I grabbed my bowl of pasta and drove towards her town. I got stuck in stupid fireworks traffic and eventually slammed on the brakes enough to send the pasta flying. When I got there she had my mugs, and felt bad about my spilled dinner so she sent me to the market with $23. I got spaghetti sauce, yogurt, cereal, milk, odwalla juice drinks, oregon chai, shells n cheese, and strawberries. Sweet. All because I got high and hungry. Thanks mom for helping out a struggling 21 year old. The world is a better place because of you.

And I got generic lucky charms for $1. Thats my shit.

 

You should try to smoke some PCP and see what that leads you to.

 

I am sure I wouldn't make it to work

 

Who knows... you might.

Or you'll just consume your mom alive thinking that she's pasta.

 

did PCP ever lead you anywhere?

 

yeah the visuals are disturbing...pat yourself on the back

 

Yes, but then I realized that I was merely walking in circles.

 

Probably not as disturbing as imagining yourself having hot sweaty sex with your mom, if you'd ask me.

 

Maybe your experience with drugs and such could help me figure something out...

 

Your inability to get it up when you're about to have sex?

Or something else?

If it's the first one, then there's always viagra.

 

at one of my jobs there is a dishwasher guy that literally howls at random intervals throughout the night. what do you think is his drug of choice. i'll ignore the joke about my momma because it is just hard for some to resist yo momma jokes.

 

you are a little bitch, or are you just drinking? lol

 

His drug is masturbating while cutting little chucks of skin off his penis with a rusty knife.

It gives him more pleasure than anything else in the world.

The second he gets home he's so turned on that he masturbates for hours. The masturbation inflicts pain because of the sensitive cut off skin, and that turns him on even more.

At work he just can't resist the temptation... therefore the howling. It's a self-control mechanism.

 

That sentence is so grammatically incorrect that it hurts.

 

ahh, a crafty, and disturbing explanation. sit back and reflect on your creativity and wit. others may want to join you. high fives all around. High fives for YOU!

 

omg...that hurts. because I care about grammar at 12:56.

 

The best part of it is that he cuts his penis for you, and thinks about you when masturbating.

He is actually thinking about you right now, dreaming about you, in his bloody underwear on a cum caked mattress in between filthy satin sheets.

 

It's a shame that the internet allows for everyone to be a writer.

 

joy killer disguised as a peacenik. typical internet behavior. peace out

 

All along I thought that I was a peacenik disguised as a joy killer.

Oh well, I guess now I can go to sleep knowing that you'll think twice before correlating getting high with your mom paying for your shit.