Coming out to my Catholic dad (about being a Taoist)

Last night as we were discussing my upcoming wedding, my dad asked me why I was looking for a judge. I said I wanted a civil ceremony because I didn't consider myself Catholic anymore. Then I said I'm a Taoist. He and my brother (who was with us) took it rather well. Actually I wasn't so worried about my brother but I was nervous about my father. It wasn't so much that I was a Taoist that made me worry as it was that I was no longer a Christian. I mean, my dad's 79 years old and prays the rosary every night. I was worried he'd freak out. But in his typical way, he just sat there with a baffled look on his face. It's my fault really. I never once actually talked about my beliefs with my family - and they simply assumed I was still Catholic like the rest of them and never asked me.

At one point he asked me if I believed in God and I said yes. What I didn't bother to add was that this God is simply another name for that which we call the Tao, and that furthermore, I don't believe I have to worship the Tao or have a personal relationship with it. The Tao is just the Tao - I don't think it would mind it being called God, but the idea of bowing down to it as if it were an external separate being from myself is ridiculous to me.

Anyway, like I said, I didn't bother to elaborate because I was still feeling really uncomfortable. I kept fiddling with the buttons on my shirt.

I'm just a bit nervous now because I'm sure at some point my family will be asking more about my beliefs and Taoism, which may be difficult to explain in a way they might understand.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys.

 

I've come up against this issue - more in a general sense i.e. how could I explain what I believe to friends and family should the subject come up. After a couple of years I've come to the conclusion that there's nothing I could really say that would easily sum it all up, and the desire to find such an explanation is in itself a waste of effort - their path is not my path.

The best I could come up with is to say that following my beliefs has brought me peace and that if they want to know more there is a good book they could read called the Tao Te Ching and I can lend them a copy.

 

Thanks. I've pretty much come to the same conclusion, but sometimes I need to hear or in this case read someone else say what I already know. Hmmm... I think the Tao of Pooh would be an easier read. Or if I really wanted to scare the hell out of them I could let them read Crowley's version of the Tao Te Ching.:reddevil:

 

Hee hee Hee

 

You cruel fuck! Why do you trouble the last days of an old mans mind for your personal pride? Weddings are for your parents! Couldn't you have just sucked it up until after the wedding at least? Telling your dad you believe in god was meant to be a bit deceptive, admit it.:angelsad2:

 

Isn't it cruel to deny a parent the chance to truly know their child - giving them lies rather than honesty?

 

No, weddings are for the couple who want to get married AND for their parents.

For my personal pride? Perhaps. But sucked it up until after the wedding? No, I don't think so.

Besides, he wasn't THAT troubled about it. Was it really so cruel of me to say those things when it didn't really bother him? He may be a devout Catholic himself, but he's no religious intolerant. So what if he doesn't get a Christian wedding? It's my wedding. No wait, it's OUR WEDDING: mine, my fiancee's, and our families (oh btw, she's BUDDHIST so a Catholic wedding would have been out of the question anyway).

Yes, it was a bit deceptive of me, wasn't it? But then again, what is GOD? If I say I believe in something that we can call the Tao, an impersonal undefinable something, and acknowledge that the word Tao is just a word assigned to it, isn't that the same as saying I believe in something that cannot be defined and for lack of a better word call it God? So what if our beliefs about that which he calls God and I call Tao are different?

 

at least believing in your Tao God has made you very peaceful Have a nice wedding

 

LOL, I AM much calmer now. I was rather pissed off when I first responded. But that wouldn't have done much good would it? Thanks, I do intend to have a nice wedding.

 

Well, O.K, if everyone is cool with all this, you're good to go...I was only being harsh to test your guilt factor. You get to decide if you passed or not...
I'd just like to say, there are compassionate lies, as well as hurtful truths....
Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

 

You get it all wrong. I'm a taoist, but that those not impact my religion. And because Tao is just a Tao. Wheel is circling, I took it as it was flowing. I took Catholic weeding because last thing as I would do is to struggle with the flow of more-less ancient tradition and make my patents worried. I flow with the success and harmony.
I said more-less because Slavic nations 800 years ago were Pagan and we still have this world inside our hearts. Tao, yoga, buddism, magic, hermetism etc are not disqualifying each other there are theories of universe and practices to gain cosmic awareness - unity.

 

oh, yes I recommend Anthony de Mello - for everyone that grown on Catholicism and have interest in Taoism. Perfect author. To advertise more I'll say that our current pope has criticised him.

 

Thanks, Astrolog. I wish your English was better, because I think what your trying to say here has a lot of importance. Tao is just a Tao... I like that!:cheers2:

 

Yeah, congrats. I can't think of anything more personal than a marriage and the wedding that gets it started. You're the one that should decide what kind of wedding you have. If you compromise on that, you'll regret it.

 

Wedding not weeding (I didn't get mariage with the weed hhe he) Sorry for my cracked English. Sometimes it goes better.

 

god is not Tao. Tao is a word for reality and god is a word for the belief in a creator being that made reality. you cannot interchange the word god for nature some people do that but if you look into it you will notice noone has ever said i dont believe in nature.

 

The Tao that can be described in words is not the true Tao

 

Exactly. Check the buddist term Bardo 1 and 2. Bardo one is a direct understanding of Tao! You're becoming unity with cosmos just by your perfect understanding of the world and infinite compassion.
BUT BARDO TWO IS ALSO THE WAY TO GO! But while your imagination cannot handle full brightness of the naked cosmos it is creating Gods, angels, demons which are corresponding to real cosmic forces, those are symbols that allows for understanding of Tao! The fact that those are not existing in reality has noting to do. Important is direction.
So as you see the named Tao is not a Tao. 'God' is not a Tao and 'Tao' is not a Tao. Everything has the same pupose and this is true knowledge.

 

well being called a cruel fuck didn't exactly make my day but no hard feelings.

Peace.

 

That's a good point and one which I've been pondering on and off ever since I started this thread! Oh well...