have i just made the biggest mistake of my life?

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umm,,realize you fucked up,swallow your pride and cut your losses and pack up and move back home..

 

Yea, I'm sorry but I have to agree with hippiehillbilly. I'm not saying moving away with your boyfriend is always a bad thing but it doesn't sound like you guys are ready for something like that.

Anger is an emotion we all feel. Even a good partner will become angry with you, but one thing a good partner will not do is stop caring about you when it happens. Please, really think about who you are committing yourself to.

 

Leave him right away, I know it is hard but just do it. I was in a violent relationship with a so-called "hippie" (though there was no peace and love involved most of the time....it was all an act to impress others) He hurt me on several occasions, and I was too forgiving and compassionate with him. I put his needs before my own, and his needs were to live in fear and rage most of the time. I needed to get out, and after five years I did it. I walked away with nothing, he took all that I had. I was foolish and naive!
Trust me, he will not get better, only worse. These kinds of unhappy men love nothing better than to get you isolated from your friends and family, then they are free to bully to their hearts content.
MAKE AMENDS AND GO BACK HOME BEFORE HE REALLY HURTS YOU!!!!
In Love and Light....
omganesha

 

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Ask him to move back home with you. If he needs, or wants, you, he'll be by your side. If he desires you, there's no way that he'll let you go home, by yourself. If it's impossible for him to leave, leave and give him some time.

If you do stay, look around for someone else, who can make you happy, in the meantime. If you find someone, they can help you.

 

Best suggestion? Think of your self and do what is right for you. Any good relationship should start with sharing. If you want to spend all of your time and effort on someone who is not willing to do the same for you then it is just selfish. When you guys decided to move in toghether there should be a bit of comunication. If he does not want to tell you then you don't want to know. I would personally take the time while he is gone to pack up and move back home for a little bit. One sidded relationships suck.

 

That says enough for me.

RUN ! Don't bother to look back.

 

did you get my msg lil ski?

 

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Well he sounds like a right twat. You know you deserve so much better. Yeah it's hard when you love someone but he's treating you like dirt and that's not right. You have to find the strength to leave, he sounds so unstable and even dangerous that if you you don't leave something a lot worse could happen. Good luck girl.

 

You don't need that kind of guy and don't let his threats of hurting himself keep you there because it is a good chance that is all it is threats.

 

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If you are moving out of state, I'd say, "Just leave." Either way, you have to break your lease, or, you can agree to become roommates with your boyfriend (and look for someone new, in the meantime).

You have to say, "Look, it's clear that this relationship is not working out. Now, let me look for someone that can help. In the meantime, we will split the bills and the rent."

Good luck, little ski.

 

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that because you have deep feelings (even love) for someone else, that this in some way means they feel something the same for you.

What you feel for him, has no bearing on how he feels for you. He may say he loves you, he may even try to show that on occasion. But it likely isn't true (although he may think (or have thought) it is)...

Here is a simple rule in life, been around so long they made parables around it.

Reverse it....

In otherwords, look at it a flipped perspective. If you love someone, would you treat them the way they are treating you? If the answer is no, then you are in the wrong relationship.

But your problem has little to do with him, you will find many people just like him who are willing to use your own heart against you.

This applies to everyone, from a child to a 107 year old geezer who is about to pass.

In life... first find out what you need to be happy... barring anything else, find out what it is that makes you smile and relax. After that, look for someone (or someones) that increase your overall happiness in life. There may be small issues here and there, but when you sit back and look at the last month, did this person give you more joy, or more stress?

If the answer is stress... get the fuck out...

This applies to all cases, including in marriages where kids are involved. I have heard many people say things like, yeah our marriage is over and we fight a lot, but we are staying togethor for the kids. Then there most common activity is to fight and argue.

BULLSHIT!!! If it was about the kids, then you make sure you are happy first, because no matter what goes on, your kids will not be happy while you are unhappy. Simple as that.

Just as an aside for a moment, if there is no fighting and arguing (very little), and none at all when the kids are around (and no, them being upstairs in bed does not count as them not being around), and you are friends with each other above all else, staying together for the kids can work, but it's rare.

Think back to when you were a kid and heard your parents fighting (or were visiting a friend and heard their parents fighting), did it help you be happy, hearing it?

Now, specifically to your issues.

The fact that you moved with him that far after already knowing what your relationship was like speaks volumes. Do you chase drama in your life? Do you see glowing flames and stick your hand into them?

If you had been thinking, instead of 'feeling', you would have realized that for whatever reasons, you and him are not suitable for each other.

As for the fact that he had to 'go somewhere' and couldn't tell you. Either he has ditched you, or you should be using this as an opportunity to get on a bus and go back home. Go to your boss, explain that you made a mistake (and a rough idea why, without lots of specifics) in moving out there and need to get back home before the BF comes back and ask for whatever money you are owed, go buy a bus ticket.

When (or if) he shows up or calls in the future, tell him that you don't think the two of you are compatible and you are done with it. If he persists, call the cops if you don't have any friends you can ask to deal with it for you.

Wow, that rambled didn't it?? lol

Summed up... From what you've said, you and him do not make a good couple, there is no trust or respect in it, either for either of yourselves or for each other.

Get out, take the lessons for the future.

 

Hi little ski, one more thought in addition to all that's being said here.

Don't make this a burden unto yourself but make it a matter of personal growth ... there's no mistake then, except the one you've missed to learn from.

Imagine it is you (none else) who has choosen to be right on this place and so ... take your choice and bless it, and grow on.

And you know ... maybe it's not so much about the relationship with another, but also about the relationship with your self ... as whomever you draw into your experience they become a reflection in the mirror of your own growth process, and the potential you so long to tap into that is yours in origin.

Your life is a wondrous, unique road and all precious from one breath to the next. And who says it's all about being safe anyway ?

Blessings on your way

 

Leave him, he's not worth it.