Ok, so background: I'm 27, and my girlfriend is 19. The age difference isn't a problem to either of us. I have been involved (sexually, romantically) with a number of girls over my lifetime, she...is a virgin. Before me, she had never kissed another man. I'll lay out my issues in order of "priority"...lol. Meaning, the ones that aren't that important, I'll list first. 1: She doesn't like kissing. It's not that she DISlikes it, it's that she finds it boring. The problem isn't how good of a kisser I am, as for one, she has no comparison to base off of, and two, multiple people have told me I'm a good kisser. So the question is, since I like kissing, how do I "spice" it up enough for her to enjoy it? I find kissing to be one of the most intimate forms of contact, so it is somewhat important to me. 2: She is a virgin. Most guys would be thrilled to be in my place I guess, but I'm nervous. In my experience, a girl's first time...well, it isn't that great. There's pain, and awkwardness. I don't want to sleep with my gf, and have her be so turned off from the first experience that it throws a wrench in our relationship. Secondly, I am decently endowed, and I worry that I'm going to hurt her. I want to take things slow so as to not cause her pain, but how much problem is this going to cause? 3: She's expressed interest in sleeping with me, but being a virgin, it's doubtful she'll initiate anything, and I want to make her comfortable. I've debated drinking with her (she drinks, and I wouldn't get her "drunk") but I don't know that this is the proper course of action. Any tips? I love this girl very much, and I just want things to be very smooth between us. Any advice that anyone can give, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
1) Have you tired sucking on her bottom lip. Kissing her neck and ears. 2) Do not be scared that you will suck in bed. It is her first time and if she loves you she will not let the first time having sex make the relationship stale. Also make her feel like a princess during sex and do everything that she has never done to herself. 3) I am a virgin and would initiate sex, if I liked the guy and expressed that I wanted to make love to him. I don't know how you can make a move on a virgin without seeming lame. Maybe you two should just discuss a date and then have sex then. Don't worry about sex, it will happen. It may not be the best the first time for her. If she is like me, I am would be turned on just knowing the guy I am having sex with is enjoying himself. Plus I heard it only hurt for about 5 minutes and then the pleasure kicks in. I don't know if it helps at all, but I hope it does.
Sophie: thanks for the tips. I haven't tried sucking on her bottom lip...I'll give that a shot. Her neck and ears...sure she loves that. As for fearing I will suck in bed, it's not that, I just don't want her to be uncomfortable. But you are probably right, she loves me, she's not going to let a little awkwardness get in the way. And finally, as for letting it happen...that's always been the plan. It just seems, very much so, right now, that it's gonna happen soon. I would never rush anything at all like that, so the ball's in her court so to speak. And you say that from what you've heard the pain only lasts a few minutes? can anyone else confirm this?
If I were you, I would let her be as long as she is happy. Sleeping with her is fine if she is happy. I find it nothing wrong if you just sleep with her (both of you fully cloth of course). Guess she want to find the sense of security by sleeping with you? Well girls are hard to predict. If you love someone, the most important thing is let her be happy. Don't also think that if you love someone, you must have sex with her. In fact, you can have it when she is ready and you will know it when she is ready.
I don't think many guys would be "thrilled" to be with a virgin. Maybe psychologically, because every guy after you is sloppy seconds (or 40ths). Overall, virgins drastically suck in bed. Been there, done that, would have a better time with my hand. cheers
actually, my first time hurt less than 2 minutes, and it didn't hurt so much as it was uncomfortable. By that time, though, I had discovered masturbation and the joys of a tapered candle (I was young and had to improvise..) so, my hymen was already broken. I can't really remember if that hurt or not. I think there was some pressure and then kind of a release. To this day, it's still uncomfortable for me the first minute or so if the man is well endowed. So, my suggestion to you would be to take it very very slowly and give her time to get used to you. That's the least painful way to do it. You'll know when she's ready for you to really give to her. Has she ever achieved orgasm by herself? Once you've gotten over the initial "awkwardness," please, take the time to play with her clit. Many women can't orgasm from intercourse alone, and she'll be absolutely blown away.
your first time can really hurt or sometimes it barely hurts at all so hope that its not to painful for her i guess
