"Guess how many jelly beans are in the jar and you get a prize!" "Aww come on man, lemme just have some." My personal favorite stand-up comedian. Not because he did drugs, not because he died. His material is amazing.
"i was gonna get my teeth whitend but said fuck that ima get a tan instead" He had some brillant lines and was really starting to rise. Its a shame he passed. R.I.P
"i used to do drugs. i still do drugs, but i used to too." i wrote that quote on the wall of my school. mitch hedburg was the fucking greatest comedian ever. if only he had lived a little longer.
In honor of Mitch hedberg's birth month, we are honored to present these never before seen videos of Mitch: http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/events/mitchhedberg We will be paying tribute to him by releasing 1 new video clip every Monday until we run out. Enjoy
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/events/mitchhedberg In honor of Mitch Hedberg's upcoming birthday this month, we are proud to pay tribute by creating a page in his honor. We will release 1 new clip every Monday until we run out. Enjoy.
Just some of my favorites... "I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait." "Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit." "I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." "If carrots got you drunk rabbits would be fucked up." " Some people think I'm high on stage; I would never get high before a show, because, when I'm high, I don't wanna stand in front of a bunch of people I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Like, when you're high, and a joke doesn't work, it's extra scary. It's like,"Whoa, what the hell happened there? I am retreating within myself. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated? Why am I not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand?" "I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's ALWAYS on time! "
Yeah hes pretty much my favorite comedian, hes not annoying runing back and forth like dane cook, he just walks up, and tells joke, why oh why did you have to die mitch.
"One time a friend of mine offered me a frozen banana. I almost said no, but thought, 'I might want a regular banana later on,' ....so yeah. " One time I took acid and saw bright beams of light...and heard sounds like car horns" "I'll file it under 'D', for donut"
I want to be a race car passenger. Just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say, man, can I turn on the radio?" "You should slow down." "Why we gotta keep going in circles?" "Man, you really like Tide." I really liked Mitch, i hated to hear of his untimely death.
At a stoplight red means stop, greens means go, and yellow means slow down. For bananas yellow means go ahead, green means hold on, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana at?
FUCK DANE COOK TOO, just had to add that. he's not a real comedian, and i saw one of his shows where he stole one of mitch's jokes and i have resented his existance since. LONG LIVE MITCH HEDBERg
By far, the best comedian that I've ever experienced. The best skit is the relationship between bananas and street lights.
RIP Mitch, all the funny ones die "so i wrote a script, and I gave it to a guy who reads scripts. He said he liked it but he wanted me to rewrite it. I was like fuck that, I'll just make a copy."