a janis joplin movie GUESS WHO'S IN IT?

I’m sick.

Not in the normal, fucked up in the soul kind of way, but truly sick.



I sound like hell, I feel like shit, and I look like somebody punched a frog in the neck.


Obviously, I’m having trouble thinking. Which is not to imply that I’m exactly performing rocket surgery in my normal state, I only mention it because I feel that I can now relate more to the mentally deficient of the world. Twice in the last month, for example, I just plain forgot how to work stairs - hurtling myself bodily down their span rather than…y’know, using feet. Once, in a spectacularly violent display of slapstick, I couldn’t figure out the basic concept of glass and walked into a sliding glass door. So, basically, I broke my nose on a see through wall, with a house full of people staring directly at me. There were birds laughing at me. They were saying “dude, I’ve so done that! Ha ha ha!”



So, clearly, I’m fucking stupid. But even considering my new social status as a “special” person, I cannot understand this.

They’re making a biopic of Janis Joplin. In the traditional movie narration voice, I heard them announce the following:


Pink
Is

Janis Joplin

To which I would like to respond:
Wait…
No

She isn’t.
They’re casting Pink!

Not the color, ’cause as crazy as that would be it would still make infinitely more sense than the singer/stupid whore named Pink. But that’s not all! The movie not only won’t feature any of Janis’ music (what?) but rather, the songs will all be covers (what?!) done by Pink (WHAT?!) I’m only holding onto my sanity by my tenuous grasp on these exclamation marks!

You know you’ve outdone yourself on stupid when the reality of your situation is funnier than the punch line of any joke you can make about it. Let me illustrate:

Idea Man: …so, long story short, we’re making a biopic of Janis Joplin. Playing the part of Janis is, get this, a fluffy bunny rabbit! Fluffy Bunny Rabbit IS…Janis Joplin!
Studio Executive #1: Ha ha! Yeah, right! Or Gary Busey!
Studio Executive #3: Ha ha! Wait, I got one. The Harlem Globetrotters ARE…Janis Joplin!
Studio Executive #2: Ha ha! Yeah, or Pink!
All: Ha ha ha ha!
You see, Pink is still funnier! It’s funnier because it’s much, much stupider than any bullshit you could make up! Even considering the state I’m in, I could’ve pieced this together for you guys. And I would’ve done it for free, just so humanity could still pretend it had some street cred.
Look man, this is sad. I’m the one outsmarting you here, and I just tried to drink out of a roll of toilet paper and tripped on my own pants.
If the powers that be truly loved you, they’d give you enough intelligence not to wear a plastic bag for a space helmet, or play tag with a moving train, or cast Pink as Janis Joplin in a movie with none of her music. But they obviously did not do that. I guess this just proves that there really is no God.
I mean, there is Jesus…but he just hates you so fucking much, sometimes, it’s like fire in his veins. Seriously. You’re just lucky he hasn’t come down here and kicked your fucking ass for this already

 

I take it this really upsets you to a very emotional degree...

 

Seriously though just shut the fuck up. Everybody here is so fucking dramatic.

 

i love pink. i love her voice.

 

i can't believe i actually read that entire thing... did you actually break your nose on the door?


yeah, that's terrible casting, but that's what hollywood's all about. i do find it a tad offensive that they would desecrate joplin's memory with a series of pink covers though

 

oh hush up, you elitists.

 

you have to be an alias. nobody would stick around here long enough to become of member status, yet not posting at all, if they truly hated everyone here so fucking much...

 

I really like Pink. But I don't think she's right to play Janis Joplin. Has she ever acted before?

 

You'll obviously fit right in if you want to tell Hellvis to shut up.

Welcome little friend.

 

It's mother fucking out of control!

 

That is so true.

 

here's an idea ASSBAG, sense i'm NOT gonna shut up, DON"T READ MY POSTS.

 

aaahhahahaha! you just cussed out a 14 year old...

it's ok LITTLE KID, eventually you'll grow up and learn how to act like a real man

 

This thread is off the chain.

 

i think they should just dig up her corpse...implant a tape player in her head and put a bottle of jack daniels in her hand...then its two hours of watching her corpse slowly fall out of a chair...OOoooo....i wonder if the bottle of jack will drop before she does...

 

LOL.

 

THAT would actually be better than watching PINK.

 

Now Jerry, you know Janis drank Southern Comfort.

Heh. Assbag. Hehehehe...

 

My thoughts as well.
I'll admit never having been a big janis fan either ,tho.


..I've walked into doors,and stuff,i'm clutsy.

 

i was pretty drunk when i ran into the sliding door, but still i'm stupid.