I dream of you in mountains Mountains exhaling into seas Whose lives...are but a breath I find you entwined within perennials Your finger dancing awake the fleeting blossoms And stroking the dependable roots I feel your warm moist breath caress the back of my neck your salty tears kiss my cheek I hear your song tear across a wild gray sky and whistle away autumn leaves I’ve found bits of you scattered everywhere Your arms stretch out to me I see your face as it gazes back from mirrors and I smile at you, at me For I know, truly, that is all there is between us
This was my favorite stanza... that spot on the back of the neck... I'm a sucker for it! The whole thing was wonderful though.... it has that feeling of trying to describe something you know can't be explained to full effect, yet you capture it so well...
Overall...very pretty, though some lines resonated with some of the other works I've read and sounded a bit familiar. But I can certainly relate this poem to my own life which allows me to enjoy this anyway.
Can you be more specific, Kitten? i wouldn't want to steal anyone's words... then again none of really ever say anything new, do we?
I didn't mean that you "stole" anyone's word at all. But the part that I talked about sounding "familiar" is this... It's just not as creative/original as other pieces of the poem...like "stroking the dependable roots" and "entwined within perennials"
yes, that stanza does seem a bit worn and overused doesn't it thank you for your thoughts and time, kitten
