well here's my issue. recently i just found out im pregannt with my third kid. and as soon as my fiance and i found out he has been doing everything to avoid me and the subject of being pregnant. whe we were in the process of finding out whether or not i was. we were contemplating on abortion. ia sked him if he would resent me either way if i did or didnt get one and if he would hate me for wanting to keep the baby knowing our financial situatin. he said it owuldnt matter either way the question i should really be asking is if i could handle the emotional struggle and all. well when ifianlly figured out i was pregnant it was too late to even think about wanting an abortion so i had to keep the baby. now my faince has just been ignoring me and avoiding me and throwing himself into work and all. HELP he wont listen to me and wont talk what can i do
throwing himself into work may just be his way of preparing for the financial burden of another child AND giving himself time to adjust. men DO, they don't necessarily TALK. as much as you may need to talk about all the details and emotional aspects, he needs to do something until he gets his head around it.
Yeah us men get a bomb dropped on us like that it takes time to adjust and like KC said, get our heads around it. Dont worry prematurely about him. He is a busy man and from the sounds of it needs to get busier. it's not easy raising three kids. I'm sure he has a bit of panic and need to be hasty with building up some cash.
instead of getting upset with him for working and thinking (probably figuring things out) praise him for working so hard for the new addition and your family. give him little notes to lift him up and get him through this hard time. be patient and he'll come around. it's a lot of pressure for a man to provide for a family. let him know how much you appreciate him.
Talk to him... don't nag though.. I am sure like the others said that he is just trying to get his head wrapped around it all... I have 3 kids and well the 3rd one changed a lot.. emotionally and $ wise.... he sounds like he is really thinking about it and actually it might be a good thing... he realizes the responsibility possibly... I know that you yourself are going through a hard time right now with him ignoring you, you probably feel quite alone. It will be okay, I assure you. Tell him that you want to talk to him... time alone... and then don't talk.... do the listening.... Listen to what he has to say without butting in.. once he sees that you are going to listen he will open up even more... Chin up chickie...
Yea i agree with the people above me but if he continues to avoid you and to constantly work then maybe you have to sit him down to have a real discussion hopefully its like the posters above said like hes adjusting and stuff but if he declines to talk with you then you will eventually need to talk it out
i don't quite get the need to hash and rehash things all the time. it's like endless meetings at work, where nothing gets done and everyone gets annoyed because you just keep TALKING AND TALKING and nothing ever gets decided, agreed upon or done. i'm a firm believer that women in general do indeed talk too much.
