3 Tears Apart I'm choking on the butterflies This is it, my heart's in pieces. Unbroken and arranged; Left it's mark upon the thesis... Atop the bottom, round the curb, Between the spots on plastic table. I miss you like a vaccant breath Will miss it's tissued mistress. Image in mind, burnt throughout sand Left frame of grace Upon the one night stand. Your name is wrapped around my wrist; Your mind around my heart. Matchbook lighting chairs on fire Draws a shape three tears apart. A falcon flies the pale green skies Spills wine on orange maps. The trees are doused, The fire's out, It's empty in my stomach. This is now, it's time to go, My life's about to roll. Walk earth's ends Silk shoes kicking sand... Yet I'm lacking all the ladder. Swallow hard, i feel it now It's lodged between my toes. Quiet now, it's but a whisper Cough and wheeze, beneath the stance Your heart just pierced the blister. She's choking still....on butterflies This is it, her life's in pieces.
That is so beautiful Lucy. I love these elemental and expansive poems. I held off answering for a few hours... but I have to leave some positive feedback here.
amazing... probably the most passionate I've read from you; I'd quote my favorite part but this is one of those rare occurences where choosing is too hard. I've a good feeling this speaks for you on many levels.... thanks for sharing this truly inspiring declaration of emotion
is this the one you said you didn't like??? because holy fucking shit, this is amazing... fuckin AMAZING!!!
Lol Lucy "I'm choking on the butterflies" to me sounds a bit cliche, hard to swallow as an intro, yet the fact that it ties in with the end...made me go "ahh okay.." so...tis all good. It's a little long to grasp as a whole but there are a few shiny moments and some that I overlooked simply because of personal preferences.
It might just be me...but it just sounds like a really "common" poetic line. The whole...butterfly and choking. Maybe I'm just biased.
