"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

My dogs are peeing in the house faster than I can clean it up!!!!!

 

I ain't gonna work on Maggi's farm no more....

 

Big explosion, police investigating, I will get back to you in 15-20 years.

 

You better believe I've had days like that...


I can't work because my ex-wife won't back out of the driveway so I can get my car out.

 

Castro named me his replacement and I gotta run to Cuba real quick.

 

Sorry...I Can't Come Into Work Today.......Cauuuuuse...I'm Sitting Here...With A Smoking Hot Keyboard.......Trying To Reach My Goal Of ... 1000 "Intellectualy Stimulating" Posts On "Hip Forums"...........(no 973..and.counting down)



Yours.......Whilst Thinking That Has To Qualify As A 100% Valid Excuse....For Not Working.....

Glen..

 

Hey GlenGlen, I have a huge pile of recently cut large oak trees you can have to start a bon fire on your iceberg! Keep ya warm......Hehehe.....
Can't come in, gotta deliver some logs to my ole buddy Glenglen....

 

I thought that Today was Yesterday,
and I wouldn't have to come in until Tomorrow.

Then I realised that Today was actually Tomorrow’s’ Yesterday,
as I was off Yesterday, I figured I might as well take today off


and start again Tomorrow by working Today Yesterday
- when it was my day off!



< Peace + Love ~ Save the Planet >

 

1st ENTRY IN THE CAPTAINS LOG....30th Of March 2008..1-47pm(gmt).......I'd Rather Freeze To Death....Than Accept Your Offer.........Just So Happens....Me And My Six Cats....Have Decided To Stop
"Running And Hiding"..........And Instead Sail This "Mother Of A Berg".......Back To The "Pallas De Farmout"....And Sort Out This Slight Misunderstanding.....Once And For All..................Your'l No Doubt Be Pleased To Hear....Solved The Prob With The Outboard Motor........Now Sailing Smoothly......Anticipate No Probs In The Shorterm...(i have planned this trip....down to the last detail)...


Captain Glen...

 

i cant come in to work today, because, i recently dedicated my whole life to scientology, and now i am their buttmonkey, and not yours.

i cant come in to work today, because i was forced to watch the latest paris hilton movie and now my eyes wont stop bleeding.

i cant come in to work today, because Angelina Jolie adopted me and is going about thinking of a stupid name so i can fit in with the rest of the clan.

i cant come into F*CKING work today, PENIS, because, i woke up SH*T, with a severe case of B*TCH 24 hour Toretts, BOOBS.

i cant come into work today, because i am stuck in an invisible box, being blown away by an imaginary wind, and forced to wear a binding unitard (the itchy kind)

this is a fun game ^_^

 

Captain Glen, great news, mayhaps over a cup of tea or some homebrewed beer, we'll hunker down and have a chat, peacefully....
Happy sailing...
no work today, gotta tidy up a bit as GlenGlen is visiting......

 

sorry, federal law requires I take one day of every 27 when not at sea.

 

I refuse to waste my pretty sunny day at work......

 

I shouldnt have eaten all that chili last night.

 

I can't come in to work today because my permanent hair extensions fell out.

 

^^hahaha. i cant come in to ork today cause im smoking marijuana, and feeling to good to work.

 

the grass is growin, buds are a popin out all over, its the sneazin season, I ain't a workin.......

 

I'll be stalking my previous boss who fired me for not showing up for work

 

I accidentally glued myself to the toilet at Home Depot.

 

sorry i cant come into work today cuz i have anal glaucoma