So I am 18/m and i've always been attracted to both sexes. My same sex attraction came to my attention through internet porn in my preteens. One night when I was 14 I was extremely drunk with one of my best friends and he came on to me and I bit back and we kissed, sucked eachother, and then just jerked off. I had never viewed any of my friends in this way so I was freaked out by the matter and didn't talk to him for 4 years. During those 4 years the prospect of being gay ate away at me because I just couldn't imagine myself doing such things but when I got horny I would masturbate to gay porn and once in a while go on gay chat rooms but never try to meet anybody. Later in high school I got a couple girl friends and had a great sex life with one of them. Yet sex with girls has been inconsistent and sometimes I jump into it. Like last night I felt turned on and I got hard but when I got my pants off, my hard on just went away. I feel like I don't know what to do. I am sure I am bisexual but I don't know how to deal with it or how to figure it out. Its hard for me to imagine being with a guy at all. Oh... yeah and the only guy that ever really turns me on now is that first friend i hooked up with. I am sorry thats a lot but I felt it was all necessary.
well you are young and experamenting so go with it and find your way in time. also be strong and accept what you choose.
OK the part about being gay, is it that you don't want to be ridiculed or made fun of? The actual idea of being gay, without the repercussions of the lifestyle. Does it still bother you? Just curious. I'm a total closet bi myself. I don't worry about having the gay side. That's ok with me.
I'm definitly bi but I keep it to myself more often than not because I haven't come out to my family yet.
I say do what you are happy with of course. Obviously you liked the encounter you had with your friend, so, without lying to yourself... you like men. Now the part about not totally getting aroused by women but you kind of do, I say that you are more into men then women. That's like I am (only I'm a female) I like women more than men. Now, if you believe what I just said, then you should act on it. One thing that every closet GLTB needs to know is that it's ok to feel what you are feeling and it's just a part of life. If you want to come out then that's great... if not then it's your decision. Nobody can tell you who you are and how you feel.. I can't tell you to be gay like society can't tell you to be straight. It's up to you. So, whatever you decide (which I think you should give it a shot with some men for a while) be happy with it. Talk to us on the boards if you need to and/or get a councilor if it makes you feel better! Remember, we love what you are doing and what you stand for!
