This is a series of three poems written between 1998 and 2000. It is a personal reflection from the time my wife of 18 years and I separated. Sometimes writing is cathartic. Without You January 6, 1998 Written while Brenda and I were separated. I awake in the dark, alone, Without You. Staggering to the kitchen, hitting lights that hurt my eyes, I still feel the darkness, Without You. Having instant coffee for one, silently I sit, reading the morning paper. No one interrupts me, but my thoughts don't focus, Without You. Without You a part of me is missing - missing you. Without You (part two) March 1998 Written a month after Brenda and I were divorced. I awake in the morning in my one-room digs, (no room for two) just me and my thoughts, Without You. Drinking instant coffee - alone, I gaze - Our picture on a shelf imagines a couple together, but traveling apart - I sip the bitter brew, my trip is now Without You. And yet, I'm comforted to know, that though we are apart, you are alive and well and happy. For there is a part of me, that can never be Without You. Without You(part three) Sunday, June 18, 2000 Written after Brenda was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I sit here on the beach - naked Without You. This has always been my thing, one that we never shared, but you were always there, somewhere, waiting and I knew that I was not Without You. Waiting for the Sun to reappear from behind dark clouds - A metaphor for your light, that I now watch fading, and know that I soon will be Without You. Two years divorced, two years traveling our own separate course, but somehow connected, I never was Without You. It was enough to know, that you were alive and well and happy but that is now a false illusion, for now I fear the fast approaching day that the world and I will be, truly, Without You. And, the tears come to my eyes, under these gray and rainy skies, but my metaphoric gloom subsides, as healing Helios rays push through and now a blue and sunny day, lets me know that I will never be Without You. Brenda, you will always be in my heart and my mind, I love you,
