most likely you're about half as crazy as you think you are and the people around you are about twice as crazy as you really are. Remember to love yourself, love others, and always try do do what you feel is "right" no matter how much wrong you've done. stay away from doctors, drugs, and self-diagnosing your crazyness. if you look hard enough you might find your crazy.
Only if your so-called "craziness" is causing significant impairment in your day-to-day functioning (finances, relationships, jobs, etc.) is it considered a disorder, and even then there's not much that really helps, at least not without causing horrid side effects or costing a ton. As long as you are aware of your mistakes and shortcomings and try to learn from them and grow in life, you're exactly where you need to be. Those that repeatedly make the same mistakes in relationships and with their money and in other areas of life are the ones who are inflicting suffering on themselves and effectively standing still in life, so try to learn as much as you can and avoid negative patterns of thought and behavior. Unless you're hallucinating or suicidal, medication is usually not that helpful and is often harmful. Talk therapy alone has been proven to cause physical changes in the brains of depressed people, so you should try to vent and share your thoughts with people you care about often.
My so called craziness is causing problems with my day to day life. I wasn't aware of it until I was told that I was unusual. I can't tell who I am anymore. And it had been getting worse with age. I don't want to go on meds because I don't want to be evened out. Anytime I have been on meds I have lost human feelings. I don't want to be a zombie and I don't want to be out of control anymore. I'm not self diagnosing.. I have a history of anxiety problems along with sexual abuse. this manic thing is overrated.
Besides the love part, thats the worst advice Ive ever heard. Therapists if need be, are professionals who understand PEOPLE. They are often there to listen, and offer you guidance after, which is your choice to follow. Have you been to a therapist before? If not, just find someone, older is best, to talk to.
I have been to therapists, but I have anxiety so I tend to mislead a lot. And when I do tell them anything I stop going. I really would like to be able too tell them things and get help, but When I get in there I'm a different person.
Have you been to a normal doctor? Your family doctor? Since that is someone who you would often go to, they would know your medical history, and be familiar with you. You can tell them your conditions.
I just want to add: I see that you are quite young to boot. This is hard. I wouldnt put yourself down by telling yourself you are crazy, thats no good. You are most definitely not crazy. I am very sorry to hear you have had a history of rough goings, but you shouldnt have to suffer. I hope you find someone you trust enough to let help you. Also, feeling weird when you are young, thats all a part of the experience :tongue:
Unless you become a danger to yourself or others, you have freewill to seek help or not. It can't be forced on you. You need to suck it up and take care of business before that freewill is yanked for bad behavior. You sound normal enough to me so you're not that far gone. You're also young. Not many young people know who they are anyway. Yet. Truely crazy people don't know they're crazy. x