I wasnt sure which forum to post this topic in, but it relates to my current relationship so here we go. Im wondering how guys (and girls) feel about the seemingly increasing "trend" - for lack of a better word, of bi-sexuality/experimenting in girls. First let me start by saying that I have no problems with it whatsoever. Straight, gay, lesbian. Its all good to me if 2 people enjoy it. My girlfriend and I are a monogomous straight couple. I think. I say that because a while back when we first started dating my girlfriend asked me how I felt about having another girl "being with" her. At first i was shocked and didnt know what to say. On one hand I find that idea to be VERY exciting and I think I would enjoy seeing my girlfriend with another woman. On the other hand I started to imagine watching another person making love to her and it bothered me. My girlfriend says that she has never done anything more than kiss/make out with another girl at a bar. I guess im not sure if that makes her bisexual. She says shes not bi. Im not so sure. We went to a strip club once (lady dancers) with another couple. Her girlfriend got a lapdance from a woman and my girlfriend wanted one too. I was feeling very awkward about it - so she didn't. This was over a year ago and the subject really hasnt come up since. Maybe because of my kneejerk reaction of being extremely uncomfortable. At the time we had not established any trust in the relationship because it was new. I think now that I might enjoy watching that. I really dont know. Its one of those situations where you never know unless you're actually in that situation. I know she finds other women attractive. We've watched porn with scenes of 2 girls together and she's commented how hot that looks. I wholeheartedly agree. My question is this: do you find that girls are becoming more and more open to exploring sex with another woman? Would it bother you to see your girlfriend having sex with another girl? *Outside of the primal enjoyment of seeing 2 women together*. Would it make you feel inadequate in any way? I asked her that IF she ever brought another girl into our bed if I could join the 2 of them. She said that she would not like that. When I asked why she replied, "because its different. I wouldnt want to see you having sex with another girl. But for me its purely sexual and there is no chance of me running off with her. And i would do it so you could enjoy watching." I dissagreed. I think if she can have sex with someone else, then whats the difference if I do too? Especially if we're both in the room watching each other - and hopefully enjoying that. Sex is sex. For me, I think watching my girlfreind getting off with another person (a guy or a girl) would make me feel strangely inadequate. Yet, I have fantasized about this a lot. I wouldnt want to see her with another man, so I can understand her not wanting to see me with another woman. The fact remains that she would still be getting satisfied by someone else. I know my girlfriend loves me and wouldn't do anything I was uncomfortable with. I just dont want to deprive her of things if its something she really wants. We did briefly talk about it a few months ago. I asked her if she still wants another girl to be with her while I watch. She said no, that it was just a phase she was going through. Should i beleive that? Part of me thinks she has put it asside because of how i reacted last year. She said at the time, that she'd do it to get me off too - in that most men like seeing 2 girls together. But I would want to join them and be involved too. Our relationship is our first priority. We've been through a lot in the past year and things have been going very well. Still, I cant help but wonder about this. Im definately on the fence with this idea. What is your insight. Can you see my point of view? Do you understand my girlfriend's point of view? Is it different for girls on girls? Should i just sit back and watch and enjoy it? Do you think its becoming more common for girls to explore this "bi-sexuality"...and IS it bi-sexuality? *sorry for the long note, but i wanted to put the whole situation out there* : )
Ok... First off, my partner and I are openly polyfi, we have had other women involved in our relationship (notice I didn't say we fucked other women, although sex is part of it as with any relationship). To start with, your girlfriend said she wanted to sleep with others, but you couldn't... That a sign... Not only that, but she also expressed distrust in you, while telling you to extend your trust to her. Indicating she is capable of having sex outside your relationship without it affecting the relationship with you, but you are not. The issues in this go deeper yet... You said a couple of times that you and her have talked about this briefly over the last couple of months, and yet here you are talking about it to strangers... Here's a hint... When you say you 'briefly' talked about with her, yet posted enough on a public forum to a whole bunch of strangers so they could understand, you have your priorities wrong. Honesty and openness (with yourself first, then your partner) is not just important in a good relations, it is 100% necessary. That requires both people to work at it... not only in expressing yourself, but in allowing your partner to express themselves. You, 'reacting badly' to her telling you how she feels and what she wants, is a step towards your relationship ending, most likely badly. You have told her that your feelings of inadequacy are more important to you, then her wants and desires, even to just the point of sharing with you. As to your specific questions; Can I see your or your partners point of view? NO, I don't understand people who are involved in relationships where they don't feel as comfortable sharing thoughts with their partner, as they are sharing them with complete strangers.... Is it difference with girls on girls??? Was that a serious question? Let's see... guy and girl, one dick, one pussy.... girl on girl... two pussies, no dick... sure sounds different to me.... Look at it a different way, seems I don't think you actually meant the physical part of it. Do you think you are an adequate substitute for a woman? lol Would you think there is a difference between you having sex with a woman and you having sex with a guy?? It is always a useful exercise to reverse things and look at them from that point of view. Should you sit back and watch it? Only you can answer that.... If you think you could do that and not have it affect your relationship with your partner, then sure go ahead, enjoy. From what you said in your post though, I would suggest that you may want to seriously put some thought into the way you will feel about it. Is bi-sexuality more common? It is most likely just as common as it has ever been throughout history. Is it more open? In some areas, yes, in some areas no. As for the whole issue of what you should or shouldn't do, that it only something you can decide for yourself. I will say that from my point of view, if your girlfriend is bi (wether or not she admits it to you), then you should either care enough about her to help her have her desires met, or get out of the relationship. As for if she is or not bi... all you can do is ask her that... If she answers you, and you don't believe her answer, your relationship is already over, you just haven't realized it yet. Of course, all of this is just my opinion... Tom
experimenting is totally different from actually being bi or gay...some girls think its cool to pretend to be bi, but at the end of the day if they are doing it to show off they are not probably truly bi
