Overall, i'm not a very nice person - i have a lot of anger. A LOT. i'm angry at people for being evil. why should i be nice to everyone when i get burned, abused, stabbed in the back by everyone? perhaps i'll just step on people and push my way through life and to hell with everyone... seems it doesn't matter. No, i'm not going to bother trying to make friends anymore or get to know people. i've been disappointed almost every time, and i've tried all manner of different approaches. No matter what, it always breaks down somewhere. WHY WHY WHY do so many people go out of their way to be EVIL? to hurt? WHY WHY WHY can't they apply even the slightest bit of that energy to something good? I'm just tired of it all. i don't wany anyone in my life...... i just want to be left alone. if i could, i'd go live in a cave. but i can't. i still have to deal with people every day. can i have a switch installed in my brain so i can just turn emotions off whenever i choose? it's overwhelming and i don't know what to do........ just keep going every day like a machine - sell my soul........ and i think my soul has been bought and sold many times before it became mine.... it's gone around too many times. it needs to end. it needs to rest. It's ok - eventually, the machine will break down. sometimes, i want to turn the machine off - right now is one of those times. the mediator between the head and hands must be the heart. nobody has one. shame. a damn shame..
It sounds like you're about to become a born-again christian.......... That's how I've always pretty much felt. Nothing is pure anymore. Everyone actually really does suck. It doesn't depress me anymore though. I am like a machine, I experience neither highs nor lows, and half the stuff I say is regurgitated drivel I heard somewhere......... But hey, I'm not angry or depressed anymore, and I'm actually really content with my life right now, as mundane as it is....... Sometimes I think I should just take the beating and be pure, and spread goodness anyway...like Mother Teresa, only less religion oriented. I think that would be amazing, to exist in such an evil place with so much love and goodness flowing out of you......man, that's a fucking mind fuck..........
you suck, sorry. Heaps of people suck but if you keep hanging out with shit people then you msut suck too. or jsut live in america..
lets go live in a cave!! .. actually my friend met of two pepz who decided to go livin in a cave, they were draggin a matress over there .. sounded good.. i sometimes feel as you... but something in me wont let me accept it.. and then occasionally it switches and life is so so beautiful .. but it seems when i start acknowledging ,then i get scared that its just too good to last and that gradually swindles me down ... i think its like making a survival living out of pain.. so many poeple do and its almost easier to exist in that 'realm' where theres nowhere to fall and no expectation ... it doesnt make me happy tho. i see the world almost like a fragmented mirror reflecting the 1 whole me ... like if someone is doing something that really pisses me off... its kinda like if i look inside i see it also within me... afterall its only through our own eyes how we percieve the world around us. .. ... i notice that if i stetch my capacity in accepting those around me good or bad, evil or angelic as they are without needin to judge.. (coz whats that really all about anyway?) then life seems more free.. and nothin is either good or bad.. as we're all part of the same thing anyway.... ah.. well..
I do know what you mean, but by being mean or angry back, aren't you just stooping to their level? Aren't you just adding to the evil people? If you are so tired of them, don't go with them, be yourself, let people come to you, let them in or shut them out, your choice. I hope you make the right one.
lets all be honest. as a general rule people are shit. they just are. adn when you have had years of shit heaped on you then you kinda get a little pissed off with it all. fuck you all, people are shit, or at least have some strong shitness built into them. this is just the way it is. it does also have some humour to it. some of the best humour has come out of how shit we are.
you sound just like me a couple weeks ago--i went through a huge transition--i got so tired of people being fake and i tried at all costs to not be like them, rejecting people completely, ive never felt so lonely in my life. i think everyone has to love somebody to be truly happy. i do anyway. ive noticed though, that when i go out somewhere in a good,balanced and peaceful mood, not being judgemental about people, just seeing them as reflections of myself, you meet the coolest people. like energies attract. and i believe that everyone has the capacity feel every feeling there is to feel. so people can really relate to you, even if you think youre all alone. you just have to realize that you get from life exactly what you put in. the universe is not unfair. if you really, from the deepest part of your soul, want to change, or want to meet new people, people that you can relate to, anything is possible. follow your vibes and trust the universe. thats the way i see it. i used to do anything i could to resist just going with the flow, and now i look back and although it doenst make much sense, it taught me alot about myself--but anyway, yes i think you should try and be nice to everyone, even if theyre mean to you, remember its nothing personnal and that person, in reality, is just angry or insecure with himself. think about it, when you get angry with someone, its because you see something in them that youve seen in yourself that you dont like. we are all reflections of eachother. when you meet someone you should try and bring the best out in them. nobodys perfect and its hard not to play ego games but its your truest intentions that really matter, and thats what the person you meet would be attracted to. if he doesnt see what you really mean, then it'd be no fun talking to him anyway. but always remember that there will always be a better day because when you forget that, you lose hope and you lose control. i think everyone can do whatever he wants, its just a matter of really finding what you want to do, something that you have a passion for, and then letting your spirit guide you to make it happen. well i hope this helps, its just pretty much me trying to figure out life too. some of this stuff might not apply to you but its just my perspective on my life. hope things get better for you---+peace+----
Melancholia - please remember that humans aren't the only species on the planet. Yes, humans can suck sometimes, but if there's a litter of puppies taking a nap all over you, does it really matter? If you can, start volunteering at your local Humane Society or SPCA. Most of them won't require you to commit to a schedule, they'll just let you come when you can. They're truly wonderful places... you get to spend time with adorable furry animals looking for somebody to snuggle with and love, and you're doing a good deed in helping out homeless pets. And that's just the animal side of things... if you try talking to the other volunteers, you'll probably find that they're usually pretty cool people too...
