Okay, so basically... I used to smoke marijuana all day, every day. I would stay stoned 24/7. When I was high, it unlocked this deep, creative part of my brain... the left side, I suppose. It was great. However, when I quit smoking, I couldn't tap into that side anymore. My abilities to write and have deep thoughts were hindered. I felt cold, shallow, hollow, distant from the world. I can't meditate well if I'm not high. I lose touch with my emotions if I'm not high. I become depressed and anti-social if I'm not high. I become depressed and anti-social if I'm not high. I know if I tell this to any of my friends (who are mostly potheads), they will just say "smoke weed", but the thing is... I don't want to be so dependent on something that I can't function as well without it. I need to be able to be that way on my own, without any substance. Is that even possible, or have I ruined myself?
I don't think so. You probably just need to re-learn how to tap into all of that. It might be a pain, but it is definitely possible. And you're better off, anyway. You shouldn't have to depend on something to be creative!
It's a very healthy sign that you see the problem and want to overcome it. Very many people just get sucked into and rot there. Your mind has become so habituated to the habit of using pot to reach the creative, joyous space, that it has forgotten how to do it by itself. You ave to slowly relearn that. One thing i can suggest is create strong positive energies in your life. Spend a lot of time in nature, balance the energies in your house according to feng shui, try experimenting with food and cooking (I strongly suggest giving up meat - it makes the mind more subtle). Perhaps try gardening. Positive creativity is the result of a mind in tune with the universe. I'm talking about the art that is uplifting, not casting people into depression and negative cycles. The more you bring your mind to live in the presence of beauty, you will find that it becomes tuned to the beautiful and that is the single most powerful gateway to creativity I know of. Good luck, god bless.
Thanks a lot. Those were very inspiring words. I already don't eat meat, but I could definitely give feng shui a shot. Whenever I'm in nature, I feel at peace. It's the only time I do, really. Perhaps I should start talking walks outside. That way, I get to be in nature, and I get the awesome natural high of endorphins. Plus, I could stand to lose a few lbs.
Oh, and one other thing... I really try to surround myself with positive energy, but it's really hard when everyone around me is so negative, including my family, who I unfortunately still live with. My father is the most negative, emotionally draining person I know.
Here is a very important principle of spiritual life. When you change, you environment has to change with you. Just try it. Forget about your father and mother and friends. They may be negative. Accept everything that comes from them - know that they are what they are because of their past experiences that have shaped them. Buy reacting negatively, you are only reinforcing that cycle in them. Instead, accept everything that comes to you and you can transform it. Just as the Earth accepts all our garbage, our shit, our pee, our rotten vegetables, everything we throw at her, and transforms it into flowers and fruit and beautiful, healthy living things. So also, you can take the negativities thrown at you and convert them into positive, healthy energy that will you and others, simply by accepting it, remaining mindful of the roots of the negativities, and not allowing it to get to you. As you grow to become a positive person, not just a person trying to surround herself with positive energy, but a person who has strong positive energy to give and to share, this will become easier. Your transformation will transform those around you, and as they change, your growth will also become easier. All this takes a LOT of strength and a LOT pf patience. But for one who practices it deeply and firmly, the changes can come in weeks, even days. It might help you to listen to some of Thich Nhat Hanh's dharma talks. He deals with these subjects beautifully. You can find them on google video. Good luck, and god bless you!
You can get the feeling of wellbeing back. It's important to eat well, drink lots of water, exercise, and so on. Being stoned all the time is not as great as you remember. It's expensive, hard on the lungs, leadsa to chronic behaviors like eating junk food. And so on. While I do think pot is the best of drugs in the world, I don't think it's necessary to the people's happiness.
