Or do I honestly have a fucked up life here? Hah, I kinda learned to take shit how it comes but I mean come on this is ridiculous here my story out, and tell me how much shittier your life is so i feel better haha. Alright, starts out, I have all the friends in the world, terrible family life, family excludes me basically, if theres a family event going on, i'd walk downstairs and discover they had thanksgiving dinner, or shit like that without me, and tell me to make a bowl of cereal, that I cant eat turkey and shit like that, I have 2 brothers, and a sister, my parents love them, they hate me, so eh. who cares I have all the friends in the world, and a good girlfriend who cares? Then I find out my dad has acute lukemia, and he was put in the hospital immediately, my girlfriend encourages me to try to at least have a relationship with someone in my family, so I tried, and he told me never to visit him again. So then life goes on, smoked alot of weed, and just chilled.. Lost my girlfriend of 2 years, to someone she never met over the internet, world started crumbling after that, and eventually I kinda got over it, but I was about to propose to her, so its still settling kinda hard on me. Today i was with my best friend of maybe 7 years or so, and i started to realize, he isn't that much of a friend, he was on shrooms, and i know he wasnt himself, but i look at any drug other than weed, espicially shrooms to open you up to yourself, and where you stand, and they way he acted he acted like he didnt want me around, and his girlfriend comes over, they both make some pretty shitty jokes about me, think I dont mind when I really did, then says well were leaving later, so basically ditched me, now im sittin here thinking, I have no friends, other than the one who just did that, and I have dated girls, but they're all complete and utter whores, and I wont lie when I say, i really did use them for the pussy, but they didn't mind, and knew .. So now, i'm just trying to figure out who I am in life, and its getting dificult, because I have many thoughts of suicide, because I believe, if my own family can disown me, my friends and girlfriend abandoned me, what left do I have? I'm very attractive to most girls, however, I have extreme problems lately, just meeting them, or getting into any kind of relationship with anyone, honestly how should I go about meeting the right kind of people? I just keep finding the bad ones, and it ends up making my life that much shittier. Some people say that around my age, you really start to find your niche, and where you belong, but I honestly dont believe i belong anywhere, I can't even get a job for christs sake, and I don't go to school either. Just kinda floatin through shit right now, but any opinions on how I should find some better people, and keep them around? Just seems like im not good at that anymore.. Anyways thanks for reading even though this will probably get bashed lol. Peace
Find some better people. If you can't, get out of where ever you are. If you can't and end up killing yourself, at least take solace in the fact that you won't ruin anyone's life by doing it (it's the only thing that stops me).
You need to get rid of everybody that has made you unhappy about life, and go somewhere where you don't know anybody, and you can meet a bunch of new people that will make you happy.
that's what i had to do. i used to live in a small town, full of rich people who, had children(who were obviously rich by default), whom i spent 8 years in school with and were total pieces of shit. seriously. if you weren't rich, you simply did not fit in.period. it was horrible. so i spent 8 years planning my escape. i went to college in the big city that i live in now, met a lot of really cool people, stayed friends with all of them for about a year,and then they all either moved away or got shitty too...infact the only one that i still keep in touch with is my college roomate, and she's so christian-y that i can hardly relate to her sometimes, but she's a good friend nonetheless. anyway, point is,rasta: there is no reason why you should kill yourself. you're just in a bad spot. trust me, i've been there too, (roughly 9 months ago, no job, no friends, etc.),but dying isnt going to do a damn thing towards making you happier. infact, it only altogether dismisses any hope of happiness in the future. and as for all of those so-called family members and friends of yours, screw 'em. i'm serious. they don't deserve you anyway. if i've learned anything in my short span of 20 years, it's that most people are disposable.plain and simple. very few will ever be permanent fixtures in your life. and the ones that aren't there anymore, aren't there for a reason. you just don't freakin' need them. they were dead weight and more than likely were causing you more harm than good. you've got to move on. my advice to you is to keep your head up, take any job you can possibly get your hands on,even babysitting, save a decent amount of money and move away. start fresh somewhere where no one knows you, or anyone that you know and that is at least 50% different and possibly bigger than where you're at now. remember the more people that populate a certain place, the more diversity there will be. And always, always, always be yourself. the best of luck to you. i hope things begin to look up.
