Indiana Jones - Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Review by Shale
May 23, 2008

Poster


This is the kind of movie that I allude to not being the over 60-year-old man but instead, four 15-year-old boys. Not this time. I went to see Old Man Jones as an old man myself. Harrison Ford is actually a couple years older than me and the setting of this movie, 1957 is quite nostalgic for me. I was there in that time; all the houses, furniture, cars, and politics were what I grew up with. In fact the movie opens with Elvis singing Hound Dog on a car radio.

As you recall, the setting of Raiders of the Lost Ark, was in the late '30s before World War II and Indy was trying to foil the Nazi's from gaining a powerful weapon, the Ark of the Covenant. This movie is set during the Cold War and the Nazis have been replaced by the Soviets who are also trying to find a new psychic weapon, the Crystal Skull.

We open with action as Indy is being abducted by the KGB operatives in New Mexico and taken to a huge warehouse at Area 51. He is ordered by comrade Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) to find a particular relic stored there, obviously of extraterrestrial origin.

The warehouse is that in the final scene of Raiders, where the Ark was stored/lost in thousands of crates. Indy manages to escape with much shooting, vehicle chasing and crashing and a few swings on his whip that we saw in the trailers where self-deprecating mentions of his age are made.

Professor Jones is let go from the university after being implicated in the Red Scare paranoia that had taken over the US in the '50s. He was about to visit Europe when a young man, Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf -lookin' like a Marlon Brando punk) delivers a letter from one of Indy's old associates, Professor Oxley (John Hurt).

Seems Oxley and Mutt's mother, are being held by the KGB. A couple of KGB agents try to nab Mutt and Indy but they escape on the motorcycle in a wild ride thru the campus, in which one of the frustrated Soviet agents yells сука сын (suka sin). Yep, some of us from the Cold War era actually know what he said.

Indy interprets the secret map and heads to South America with Mutt to find the lost El Dorado and Mutt's mother and Prof. Oxley. As with the other Indy films they crawl thru ancient lost temples following clues and find the Crystal Skull.

And they are captured again by Comrade Spalko, who is holding Prof. Oxley and Mutt's mother, none other than Indy's old flame Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen - as beautiful as she was a quarter century ago in Raiders).

Indy is forced to locate the legendary El Dorado, where the skull is to be returned for its magical powers. Indy of course escapes, has harrowing car chases along cliff tops (Those edge of the cliff roads are on all continents it seems), avoids being eaten by ravenous army ants, chased by hordes of angry natives, survives frightening water falls and assorted other action before finally getting the Crystal Skull to its rightful owner.

From there it's a little more action out of their control, just as in Raiders.

A popcorn movie for a summer afternoon, I really enjoyed it. I think there is enough action to appeal to those who didn't grow up in that period.

I'll give it a one or two DVD rating as I intend to get this one to add to the other Indiana Jones vids.

Shale's movie rating scale:
0 DVD No I would not waste my money or time seeing this movie again.
1 DVD I would get this DVD for $5 or $7
2 DVD I would get this DVD for $10
3 DVD I would get this DVD for $15
4 DVD I would get this DVD for $25 as soon as it was released.

 

I saw this the other day and I liked it as well. I thought they played off Indiana's age really well, and also the aesthetic was really nice, very true to the originals.

It was fun, and definitely over-the-top. It owned itself, though.

And even if everything else had sucked, it would have been redeemed by one awesome line:

"What am I being accused of, other than surviving a nuclear blast??" (Indiana) Indiana is unstoppable!

 

is a good one!!! even if the movie arent good you have to see it, is INDIANA JONEs

 

I was disappointed. Not sure if it was because the hype built it up too much and I was let down. I just didn't get too excited when I was watching it and I had been looking forward to it.

 

I think I was the opposite. I was expecting it to suck so bad that I was relieved when it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected it to be. That is, they didn't completely ruin the entire series with it. Anything short of that is great in my book these days, and plus Indiana survived a nuclear explosion.

 

this movie is awesomeeeeeeeee, loved every min. of it i guess some times people have to get old in movies even indy.

 

I thought it was pretty corny. and i saw the kid thing coming a mile off. it wasnt a waste of 2 hours but its no masterpiece. theres my 2 cents.

 

this movie didnt do anything for I thought it was a compete waste of my time...good thing I didnt pay to go see it

 

i heard there was a ufo in it or something..

 

I thought it was good, there are a few things I would change though, like make the ending a little more plausible or at least less predictable but overall it was a good movie.

 

I LOVE YOUR SCALE SHALE!!!

I think thats what I would pay for it also.. this only going by the trailers, Ive seen enough. And a few parts looked more artificial than the others. And thats my opinion.. Harrison Ford is great in anything he does..
I love a character that gets beat up once and a while and Ford gets beat up often in his movies... Just in his action scenes I mean...lol.

 

Good review Shale. Thanks again.

I'll pass on going to the big screen for this one but only barely.

I think my tv and a beer and a toke will be enough to enjoy the show.

 

Good review. I thought it was a decent movie and lived up to my expectations....It still kept the same feel and atmosphere of the old ones. It is even more over the top, but it is still great. The nuclear blast was pretty ridiculous, but I loved it anyway.

I agree with Shales rating, but I don't own the others on DVD, so I may wait for a box-set.

 

it was ok, it did have some good moments, and some really cheesey moments. the ending really sucked. most movies endings suck

 

*Spoiler warning*

That movie sucked major balls.

It just played off on all of the major Indiana Jones themes to get box office money.

The movie completely missed the subtle humor of Indy, substituting it with obvious cheap one liners. The plot was horrendous and completely broken down.

The brilliant mysticism that always surrounds Indiana Jones movies was replaced with blatant banal bullshit. The ending was beyond idiotic. It was knowledge after all... not gold... how corny could you fucken get?

Plus, the whole idea of bring back that fat old actress and them marrying... idiotic. They haven't seen each other for years and instantly fall in love through some weak witty remarks? Bullshit.

The whole thing with the kid, who is a terrible actor to begin with, being Indy's son is completely fucken ridiculous and was pointlessly obvious from the very beginning of the movie.

Hell, even the action wasn't that spectacular, it felt drawn out and forced. The only really fascinating part was the ants, but that's because I like ants... not because the scene was good.

The Russian were portrayed in such a stereotypical fashion that you'd think that the movie wasn't only set in the 1950s, but also filmed in the 1950s. No Russian, and I repeat... NO Russian (who wasn't a professional folk dancer) would ever start drinking and dancing like that around the fire in the fucken jungle.

I won't even go into the dozens of plot holes.

I'm a big Indiana Jones fan, I've been watching the movies ever since I was a little kid.

This one sucked. I felt like hanging myself after watching the movie... instead I simply decided to go out and murder every single person who has had anything to do with it.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, this is shit.

 

Please don't hold back. Tell us what you really thought of the movie.

Of course it sucked, but so did every other Indie movie other than Raiders. All sequels suck to some degree.

I am a fan of Raiders. Temple of doom (wasn't that the one where they were in the mining cars on tracks in a cave?), now that is sophistication - NOT. These are mindless action adventure flicks - can't hold them to a very high standard and you must suspend disbelief. But, this one wasn't any more lame than Temple or Last Crusade.

I didn't think it was that bad (obvious by my review) but I was actually around at the time portrayed and perhaps was more nostalgic for the paranoid oppressed '50s in which I grew up.

 

The bad 'guy' wasn't bad enough, or interesting enough. The ending was a letdown. It was a disappointment to me as I have mentioned before

 

I liked it, entertaining enough for a few hours (Especially when there is nothing else to do around here) but I know it could have been much better.

Very surprised Shia LaBeouf pulled the part off. Didn't think he would at all in the previews.

 

*movie spoiler* WARNING

i am a huge indiana jones fan, there were parts that were good, parts that were bad, it could of been WAY better. but, on the last part, im wondering... is there going to be another indiana jones?? starring shia? i think they made that hat scene to test the audience to see if they want to have a new indiana jones.

 

I don't think Shia can justify his role here in Indiana Jones. After watching it, I said to myself that I hope there won't be any Indiana Jones sequel because the plot is getting boring.