Problems with communication

Hello, I thought I have posted this somewhere else but as I didn't find it so I'm going to post it again. I'm a twenty-year-old girl that just wants to follow her path in life. Experience has made me believe that however difficult it might be relating to other people, it's always better to have a life of sharing with others than to avoid everyone. However, when I try to do so I feel a bit lost. I feel like everyone is understanding things that I'm not, I have an awful lot of trouble to get what the other means or is trying to tell me -specially if he/she is not very straightforward and in some situations I just panick. Maybe I'm not used to be with others, since for most of my life a just have meaningful relationships with a restrictive number of members of my family. Sometimes I wonder what 'friendship' really means...Why is so hard for me to communicate? What is blocking me, how should I deal with it? Someone can help me?

 

I have problems with communicating with people also. I feel that they do not know the real me, they do not understand the things I am saying. But I feel that it is because they can't fathom all my opinions, or my individuality, something rare to find nowadays. I am not sure if I helped you or not, just want to let you know that you are not alone. Sometimes I get anti-social because I am not sure how to approach people and talk to them, and if I am forced into a social function, like a party or something, I get really panicky.

 

Thanks Helter-Skelter!
Although your statement doesn't exactly solve my problem I guess I feel less weird now that I have shared it with you. Maybe I just need to work out things with patience...I suppose I don't have enough of it. I hope I stop of feeling lost one of these days...

 

I am quite sure you will. I have a horrible problem with my patience too, believe me, I am almost done high school, I've got 2 weeks left until I graduate, and I feel that it is too long, and I want so bad to just quit.

 

It is not that they understand more than you or that they know something you don't, its that they have just decided to follow the norm, to block everything and anything that would cause them to think philosphically or break out of their comfort zone, and you probably pose a threat to such.

I have the same problems, so I somewhat speak from experience. I have come to find that my life experiences are vastly different from those around me (family drug/social problems) and thus I have come to see the world in a different way and take life a little more seriously than do most of my peers in high school. I have come to analyze and think about anything and everything, and when I fashion my opinion they are usually different from the general idea, which ultimately casts a dark shadow upon me. My only hope, as I see it, is that I either learn to adapt to the norm or that people finally come to accept those that have differing viewpoints.

I mean, it seems to me that every single day of my life someone is trying to force their views upon me, to change the person I am instead of valuing my individuality. For example, I had long hair and then I got it trimmed the other day. Instead of saying that it looked nice, all anyone could say was that they liked it better long or that I should have gotten a buzz cut.

I guess after all this rambling I am trying to say that it is not your fault, you are unique and people will hopefully in time come to accept you for the person you are, which in turn will allow you to be more comfortable and communicative.